A Letter To Guitar Santa: We’re Dreaming Of A Very, Very Weird Christmas

Dear Santa,

We’ve been dreaming big in 2008, and now it’s time for you to seal the deal. You’ve surely already been bombarded by 5-year-olds asking for the latest Elmo concoction, and that has to get old after awhile. Not to rip on the children of the world, but the UG community always thinks up a wish list that blows little Sally or Johnny’s gift ideas out of the water. These suggestions might push you and the elves to the extreme, but we have the utmost confidence in the entire North Pole staff. This year we have even more unusual challenges than in previous years, so here is a quick bit of advice: Be prepared to round of Buckethead, Jesus, and Rick Astley.

St. Nick, we realize that you’re a little long in the tooth (and looking great for a 1700-year-old dude, may we add), so we at Ultimate-Guitar did our part to help out. In a recent survey we asked readers, “What is your weirdest music-related dream?” It might not be a carbon copy of your usual “What would you like for Christmas, boys and girls,” but why not stir things up in 2009? Our readers chimed in with both their ultimate desires and some genuine dreams (of the sleeping variety), so your work might necessitate thinking way outside of the box. Instead of just jumping down the chimney and simply leaving a new Robot Guitar, how about upping the ante by heeding the advice of one particular UG reader? Make that Gibson axe unleash laser weapons, destroying all in its path. Sure, it might be a little brutal for all the glee of the holidays, but you’ll certainly make one guitarist out there a very happy boy or girl.

So hold off on slipping the usual Death Magnetic CD or Marshall stack under the tree because we’ve got some ideas that will make this humdrum holiday season oh-so-much more interesting. And don’t you want to brag that you were the guy responsible for a GN’R reunion or a DragonForce orgy with genuine dragons? Yeah, we thought so.

What A Wonderfully Weird Christmas It Would Be If…

Buckethead is unmasked

The former GN’R guitarist seems to be heavy in the psyche of quite a few readers, with many of you mentioning the quirky player in your responses. One individual, however, did the unthinkable by asking that Buckethead be…unmasked. I have to admit that I also once spent an entire afternoon with the Google Images search engine, strictly for the purpose of finding out Buckethead’s (a.k.a. Brian Patrick Carroll) true identity. But is a half-ass JPeg really satisfying? I think not. Santa, if you’re able to unmask Mr. Carroll, think about the possibilities. Buckethead will finally be able to create instructional guitar DVDs, in which he walks us through the insanely good solos like the one in “Jordan.” It wouldn’t hurt to hear him pass along a few behind-the-scenes tales of his days with Axl, either.

Kurt Cobain enters a Battle of the Bands Contest

The reader who suggested this dream went on to say that Cobain would proceed to play all of his hits as he demolished the competition.

Unfair? Sure! But wouldn’t you just love to see him show some of these novice rock stars how to play uncompromised, legendary music without the aid of hair gel or pyrotechnics?

Guns N’ Roses has a reunion with all of the original members

This would be the ultimate step in rebuilding Axl’s career. Sure, Chinese Democracy made a fairly solid showing internationally, but a reunion with Slash, Izzy, Duff, and yes, even Steven would likely win back all those fans that Axl alienated over the past 15 or so years.

Santa, we realize that you have a better chance of resurrecting Kurt Cobain, but we still want to believe in Christmas miracles.

Fall Out Boy becomes a good band with the ability to write enjoyable songs

Those in the UG community who voted Fall Out Boy as the Worst Band of 2008 likely have no hope in this coming true. But another such reader added a little twist to this comment that might just work.

He dreamed that Cradle of Filth would one day cover a Fall Out Boy track. We’re already smirking thinking about what Dani Filth would do with a song called “Dead on Arrival.”

DragonForce has sex with dragons as they played

Bizarre? Perhaps. Disturbing? Of course. But even those who don’t care for DragonForce would have to admit that this would probably one of the most memorably awesome concerts around. Sex and dragons?

It’s a guaranteed sold-out show.

A death metal band was comprised of Jesus, the angel Gabriel, Muhammed Suicmez and my history teacher

There weren’t a whole lot of religious-based results in our survey, and this one was a doozy. We’re fairly certain that Jesus and/or the angel Gabriel have not yet played in a death metal band (on Earth, at least), particularly one that features the likes of guitar master Suicmez of Necrophagist. This would be the perfect opportunity to prove to all those right-wingers that any goes in metal – including Jesus on drums. We’re not sure where the UG reader’s history teacher fits into the whole equation, but he’s obviously one hell of a cool instructor if he can stand toe to toe with Jesus.

Mozart builds a studio inside of his grave and did all his pieces in a heavy metal version with help from Dimebag Darrell and Pavarotti

Forget sex with dragons or reunion tours, this request would take music as we know it to the next level. Mozart was a bit of a misfit himself back in the day, and we’re almost certain they he would appreciate the genius behind much of today’s metal. And why stop with just Dimebag? Let’s get Randy Rhoads and Jimi Hendrix invited to this party.

Green Day plays ukulele in gorilla suits and free cookies for everybody

For those who believe Green Day has lost its edge, seeing Billy Joe Armstrong in a monkey suit might actually be a welcome change. With American Idiot delving deep into political themes and their upcoming 2009 release supposedly being more “religious,” it may just be time for the pop punk band to grab some ukuleles and lighten up a bit. Santa, one more thing: I have a feeling that some people will be just fine with the “free cookies.”

What The Nighttime May Bring: Truly Weird Dreams

“I exchange guitars with Dave Mustaine…Jimi Hendrix plays drums with his teeth in my band, while slap bassing with his feet.”

You’ve already intrigued us with Mustaine showing such an act of kindness, and the fact that Hendrix was going all Bootsy Collins on us in the dream makes this a top priority for you, Santa.

Really want to blow our minds? Push Mustaine into joining Hendrix’s funk band, and you can watch the jaws drop.

“I met Chuck Schuldiner and joined Death, but then they kicked me out because my armpit hair grew too long.”

While we applaud the UG readers’ subconscious for keeping the spirit of Schuldiner going strong, Santa should feel free to edit out any mention of lengthy armpit hair. Or…throw in a bottle of Nair for this poor kid. Problem solved and a happy holiday is had by all.

“I was at a Rick Astley concert...”

Um, no. Santa, we were going to put a positive spin on this one, but no dice.

“Me and Ozzy were grave-robbing at a funeral…Ozzy opened a coffin and started nailing a skeleton.”

No offense to the Prince of Darkness, but this sounds like something Ozzy might have actually done circa 1985.

I guess we don’t want to see the rehabbed singer back to his old bad habits, but perhaps another frontman can cover this one. Any votes for Scott Weiland? Wait, we take that back. Astley!

“I was in the middle of a gig when I suddenly spawned 3 extra penises and used them as drum sticks to do the craziest drum solo of all time.”

Santa, if you’re able to make this dream a reality, just be prepared to work overtime. I have a feeling that the Acme Penis Spawner will be the hit of the Christmas season.

“Playing chess with half-Billy Corgan/half-horse as fairies wearing funky fruit hats danced around us singing ‘What Is Love’ by Haddaway.”

If this dream doesn’t scream “Christmas Magic,” then nothing does.

“Slash came in my house to play Guitar Hero with me.”

Even though this came from the subconscious mind during a run-of-the-mill good night’s sleep, it’s not such a far stretch from the truth.

Out of all the rock stars today, Slash is the kind of laid-back guy that would probably grant such a wish. We’re assuming he’s a petty phenomenal Guitar Hero player now that his face has donned millions of packages, but it would still be mighty cool to have Slash kick your ass at “Through The Fire And Flames.”

Sign us all up for this gift, Santa.

By Amy Kelly
Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2008

Comments

[nightraven]

lmao

[samerika]

Lol funny ones

[exect4500]

The Rick Astley show is my Christmas wish as well.

[ChucklesMginty]

Ah man, I sent in one saying I was lying on my death bed playing an amazing solo, while all my guitar heroes lay round applauding me. That so should've gotten on there it was a real dream as well.

[guitargodgary13]

lmao!!!!!
my favorite was probably the 3 extra penises one then ozzy osbourne kurt cobain then guns n roses

[ctb]

lmao
Brilliant read!

[Shazazmic]

lmfao this is great stuff...

[Athetosis]

Nice.

Also, stop whining Kevy. No one cares.

[Tootie2000]

Who wouldn't wanna play GH with Slash...or just plain ol' guitar at that...and I'd definately beat slash at 'Fire and Flames...maybe.

[Tootie2000]

oh...and Welcome To The Jungle

[TranquilNight]

nice

[Anonymouslyours]

pure awesomeness.
xDD

[Gunny.]

awesome. lmao.

[andresbejar]

The death metal band comprised of Jesus and Gabriel already exists! Opeth! Jesus = Mikael Akerfeldt, Gabriel = Axenrot, ur history teacher = martin mendez and fredrik is better than mohammed guy

[KennethJay]

This is great

[FruitarGuitar]

haha, epic! xD too bad the Fall Out Boy wish will never become reality

[midnightmusicxx]

guns n' roses reunion and kurt cobain resurrected
pleaseee santa.
i've been a good girl this year...sorta

[Red_Hot_Fuzz]

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Blasphemy! He has spoken Blasphemy!!!

[michal23]

“Playing chess with half-Billy Corgan/half-horse as fairies wearing funky fruit hats danced around us singing ‘What Is Love’ by Haddaway.”

I love you.

Checked.

[Alexishxc1337]

The Fall Out Boy thing was one of the most immature things I've ever seen published on this site.

[1avatar328]

rofl hilarious!

[rafa7008]

I love these threads

[guitarp_11]

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Ya, you and five other people in America...

[PrettyxOdd]

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

[thecrusher1234!]

UNMASK BUCKETHEAD BLASPHEMY!!!
funny list however

[Widow6]

I think "Ibanez listens to their customers" should be added.

[Megadeth2011]

Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!

[Guns-N-Roses94]

Yeah, Guns N' Roses shall reunion.... I wished that too!

[guitargodgary13]

guitarp_11 wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Ya, you and five other people in America...

more like you and five other people in the world

[Tiadoro]

I wanna get spanked by Slash on guitar hero

[OversoulFF]

wow.....yeah.....um....sum peoples gots sum issues

[OversoulFF]

fall out boy aint even a band. theyre just a bunch a wussie ass cross dressers who bang each other

[Blas3]

LOoooooOL!

[jy9626]

i'd love to play guitar hero with slash! even though i suck at the game.

[Alpha_Wolf]

Lmao!

[lightleggy]

lol @
"we want to see GNR reunited again...even if we know theres a higher chance to ress Cobain"

[hide_the_beer]

They didn't mention what I wanted for Christmas...
A guitar that dispenses bacon

[Våd Hamster]

Widow6 wrote:

I think "Ibanez listens to their customers" should be added.

Aye. Moar ERG's you twats!

Also, lmao

[Alpha_Wolf]

Adam124 wrote:
Strange how 5 people in the world can make this band massive.

Don't be an idiot, they are a solid band im sick and tired of people on this site bad mouthing them.

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

... more like devolving.

[Alpha_Wolf]

Adam124 wrote:

Strange how 5 people in the world can make this band massive.

Don't be an idiot, they are a solid band im sick and tired of people on this site bad mouthing them.

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

[GuitarGod9876]

Adam124 wrote:

guitargodgary13 wrote:

guitarp_11 wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Ya, you and five other people in America...

more like you and five other people in the world

Strange how 5 people in the world can make this band massive.

Don't be an idiot, they are a solid band im sick and tired of people on this site bad mouthing them.

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

Music isnt evolving. We use guitars, drums, and mics. Rap is evolving thats why it sucks so bad. FOB isnt rap but they find a way to suck.

[a6l6e6x1]

Fall Out Boy becomes a good band with the ability to write enjoyable songs

i wrote that one!!!!!1!

[koalabacon]

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

lol.

if you like them now, just wait till they become GOOD.

[hippie_guy]

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

I AGREE !!! there can't be a band worse that Tokio Hotel ! it's the ultimate expression of crap, but what is worst about them is that their crap is actually listened to by a lot of emo kids at my school ! i hate it !!! METAL FµCKING RULES !!!

[nchguitarist]

The fall out boy one a must

[ShazbotBen]

Why are we still acknowledging Fall Out Boy as anything other than a 21st century boy-band?

[Shaharz]

Hehe. that was awesome

[PDMChubby]

hippie_guy wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

I AGREE !!! there can't be a band worse that Tokio Hotel ! it's the ultimate expression of crap, but what is worst about them is that their crap is actually listened to by a lot of emo kids at my school ! i hate it !!! METAL FµCKING RULES !!!

"METAL FUCKING RULES !!!"? Hahaha, wow, you're such a badass, you don't even know.

[Viking_Swede666]

that was the most random shit ever, but I'd go for anything that includes Muhammed Suicmez...

[Wolfinator-x]

HAHAHA! This made me laugh my ass off!

As well as Dragonforce is the greatest band in the world (it's been scientifically proven, the damn statistics on this site are rigged), that Dragon sex gag made me chuckle.

[FuZzY(aus)]

ahahah thats great
i love the slash bit

[TheSoother]

i think Dave Mustaine, Buckethead, Cliff Burton, and Lars Ulrich should form a super band called: Metal Up UR Ass.

[metalmagic!]

hippie_guy wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

I AGREE !!! there can't be a band worse that Tokio Hotel ! it's the ultimate expression of crap, but what is worst about them is that their crap is actually listened to by a lot of emo kids at my school ! i hate it !!! METAL FµCKING RULES !!!

dude, if your ok with fall out boy, your not allowed to say metal rules. My dream is: Dimebag comes back and shoves a razorback up this guys a$$!!

[TheSoother]

scratch my comment, instead of Lars, we need Shannon Lucas!

[guitarmaniac88]

Buckethead unmasked? This is a dream, and I don't think Santa can do a miracle like that.

[weagle11]

Adam124 wrote:

guitargodgary13 wrote:

guitarp_11 wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Ya, you and five other people in America...

more like you and five other people in the world

Strange how 5 people in the world can make this band massive.

Don't be an idiot, they are a solid band im sick and tired of people on this site bad mouthing them.

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

his letter to santa had one thing and one thing only...playing butt darts with FOB's members. ****ing groupie.

[JamesxHetfield]

FUCK Guitar Hero. I'd play ****in real guitar with him

[AgentWiggles]

Megadeth2011 wrote:

Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!

NOOOOO

[icpgettozone]

this is some funny stuff.
i havent laughted like that since i was surfing the vurtual web on grand theft auto 4
cheers!

[icpgettozone]

u forgot to ask santa to make te 80's thrash metalica to come back.
i mean after ...and justice for all its just not the same!
im not bashing there stuff after that.
i just dont care for it too much.

[bikerluke666]

hahaha

i was the one that did the playing drums with my extra penis' one

[icpgettozone]

oh and i forgot to add
ask guitar santa to resurrect randy rhodes too!

[SOADriff]

rofl at the dragonforce

[Captain Penguin]

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

you sir, win.

[theotherguy7145]

JamesxHetfield wrote:

FUCK Guitar Hero. I'd play ****in real guitar with him

Same! And i'm pretty sure that, fun as GH may be to people (not me) then Slash still prefers to jam on a real guitar!

[Cheesepuff]

Fall Out Boy can already write enjoyable songs. That's some of the only good pop/rock you can hear today.

[randyaintdead82]

Megadeth2011 wrote:

Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!

great, now we have autotoned guitars instead of voices. But they sounded.....so good..lil wayne..cant....use...whammy..pedal AAHHHHH

[ken20008]

andresbejar wrote:

The death metal band comprised of Jesus and Gabriel already exists! Opeth! Jesus = Mikael Akerfeldt, Gabriel = Axenrot, ur history teacher = martin mendez and fredrik is better than mohammed guy

I love you and +99999.

LOL.

And being a great fan of metal as well as some pop rock, i still think FOB sucks, lol, paramore and green day owns their ass, at least we have got a hot singer in Paramore to look at even if you dont like their music. hahaha

[ken20008]

randyaintdead82 wrote:

Megadeth2011 wrote:

Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!

great, now we have autotoned guitars instead of voices. But they sounded.....so good..lil wayne..cant....use...whammy..pedal AAHHHHH

why not sean kingston?

Checked?

[Cobra Strike]

Don_Leno wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

there are actually alot of fall out boy fans... its sad
But buckethead unmasked would be pointless....
He wouldnt be buckethead anymore... it would be like that one guy with a bucket on his head. Not buckethead/.
I forgot to send him a letter for christmas!??!?!?

[qwertymason]

Haha in mine I asked Paul Gilbert to master the art of playing the didgeridoo. (A wind instrument commonly used in northern Austrailia)

[xcmasta91]

i hate how everyone bashes on fob they actually arent there are far more worst bands than them and the singer is actually very good

[Machine Gun Cat]

Whats with the blatant Nirvana fellation?

[iH8CarAccidents]

guitargodgary13 wrote:

guitarp_11 wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Ya, you and five other people in America...

more like you and five other people in the world

Sadly, it's more like him and millions.
Now five other people on THIS WEBSITE then yeah.

Now I'm not saying they're Dream Theater or anything, but then again, Dream Theater doesn't get radio playtime. Fall Out Boy writes catchy songs. Talented songs? NO. But catchy.

[spazbroz101]

i didnt know that buckethead was a former GNR member that is awesome but if GNR is getting back together with all the original members than why is buckethead hiding his face all the time? that is a question only buckethead knows

[98Timberwolf]

If you unmask Buckethead you will find that he is actually a terminator, and upon his true identity being revealed he will destroy us all.

I like the idea for the death metal band. They would be bigger than Dethklok is in the cartoon.

This is the funniest thing I have read in a while.

[spazbroz101]

i though kurt was dead

[spazbroz101]

what are you talking about timber wolf

[spazbroz101]

i didnt know that buckethead was a former GNR member that is awesome but if GNR is getting back together with all the original members than why is buckethead hiding his face all the time? that is a question only buckethead knows

[98Timberwolf]

Dethklok? They are a band featured on the show Metalocalypse on Adult Swim. They also tour in real life. Look em' up on youtube.

[RazorStradlen]

Good stuff, good stuff

[XxDre09xX]

buckethead = 2pac

duh everyone knows that

[tamotots]

i'd like to see dragonforce have sex with dragons as they played.

[whiplash13]

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

How can you single someone out like that? All those bands suck equally

[Zekmez]

funny

[nelwishfan]

Another Wonderfully Weird Christmas It Would Be If…
... If Tarja Turunen returns to Nightwish!
That's my Christmas wish.

[DarkLordArthur]

TheSoother wrote:

i think Dave Mustaine, Buckethead, Cliff Burton, and Lars Ulrich should form a super band called: Metal Up UR Ass.

Holly Crap! That'd be awesome
I'd rather put Mike Portnoy or Joe Jordison at the drums, they are way better drummers than Lars. Even if you hate Slipknot, you have to admit Jordison is an excelent drummer.

nelwishfan wrote:

Another Wonderfully Weird Christmas It Would Be If…
... If Tarja Turunen returns to Nightwish!
That's my Christmas wish.

[DarkLordArthur]

shit!!
it is not supposed to be like that!!
It was like this:

TheSoother wrote:

i think Dave Mustaine, Buckethead, Cliff Burton, and Lars Ulrich should form a super band called: Metal Up UR Ass.

I'd rather put Mike Portnoy or Joe Jordison at the drums, they are way better drummers than Lars. Even if you hate Slipknot, you have to admit Jordison is an excelent drummer.

nelwishfanwrote:

Another Wonderfully Weird Christmas It Would Be If…
... If Tarja Turunen returns to Nightwish!
That's my Christmas wish.[/quote]

Holly Crap! That'd be awesome

[DarkLordArthur]

>.<
whatever

[GUNIT!]

why can't every UG article be like this?
that's my wish for this christmas.

[the boogieman]

awww damn, my latterman having a reunion wish got rejected

[jameskr3w]

i think that a Blink-182 reunion deserves to be up there

[BloodRain]

lol nice makes me smile

[train wreck]

haha

[fil69]

haha this is funny but it got messed up towards the end...

[Vendim]

Sweet!

[liamduzrocks]

i dont see why everyones obsessed with buckethead
anyone can learn to play guitar really fast and doing all those little sweeps and what not
real skill is in making it sound good and not being pretentious with it :P

[MaidenPriest666]

cobain would lose battle of the bands cause he sucks

[Baraga]

Lmao funny

[korbhag]

I have a dream... that Dethklok gets as big as they are in the TV show!

[lopezmetalmunky]

Megadeth2011 wrote:

Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
Dear God, that would be HORRIBLE.
Hey, wouldn't it be funny if you unmasked Buckethead and it was Jesus?

[NaivexLi]

one of the best things I've ever read here on UG

very good job

[Code-E]

Why the hell does everyone want Buckethead unmasked?!

Thats ****ed up man!
DON'T DO IT BUCKET!!!

[BloodRain]

# Fall Out Boy becomes a good band with the ability to write enjoyable songs

loled

love what you have write about jimi hendrix and ozzy

[BobMarleysGhost]

Viking_Swede666 wrote:

that was the most random shit ever, but I'd go for anything that includes Muhammed Suicmez...

Haha! That was my dream!

It was one wierd night, I can tell you that...

[kalel182]

xDD
sure..
they wanted to rick roll everyone for xmas.?? xDD

green day gorillaz, slash at home...
such nice dreams

[ieatursoul]

i had a dream some fat chick on a lawn mower was trying to kill me last night. was pretty messed up.

[Lifeless Death]

Alexishxc1337 wrote:

The Fall Out Boy thing was one of the most immature things I've ever seen published on this site.

Fan number Five, Kevy = Fan Six. Just Four more =D where are you?

[Lifeless Death]

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Strange how 5 people in the world can make this band massive.

Don't be an idiot, they are a solid band im sick and tired of people on this site bad mouthing them.

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

AMEN

[MeLa13]

Me and a few friends all talked about how Fall Out Boy songs had no catchy-ness and how the verse/bridge were the exact same as the chorus. They've cleaned up and are more enjoyable now!

[epiphoneftw]

GNR REUNION! LOLOLOL

[_person_]

haha. kurt cobain plays in a battle of the bands. nice.

[Disturbed.One]

personnally, i believe that if buckethead was unmasked, we would find slash

[freedomdeceptiv]

MaidenPriest666 wrote:

cobain would lose battle of the bands cause he sucks

Dude, thats ****ing blasphemy... the only thing worse is bashing led zep. Anyways why cant jimmy page use black magic to resurrect bonzo and control robert plant's mind so they can tour?

[hippie_guy]

metalmagic! wrote:

hippie_guy wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

I AGREE !!! there can't be a band worse that Tokio Hotel ! it's the ultimate expression of crap, but what is worst about them is that their crap is actually listened to by a lot of emo kids at my school ! i hate it !!! METAL FµCKING RULES !!!

dude, if your ok with fall out boy, your not allowed to say metal rules. My dream is: Dimebag comes back and shoves a razorback up this guys a$$!!

i didn't say Fall out boy is ok, i just said Tokio Hotel is even worse )

[rubbert]

hide_the_beer wrote:

They didn't mention what I wanted for Christmas...
A guitar that dispenses bacon

that would be the 'most awesomemest' thing eveerr!!

[Noremak]

ha wow they actually featured mine

[WARNINGnimrod12]

The fallout boy one was the best, because it was true of course.

[WARNINGnimrod12]

by that i mean, fail out boy sucks!

[Second Bass]

rofl. Good stuff keep it coming.

[SHREDeR€$]

A santa wish from me would be a blink 182 reunion
with anew awesome album.

[Cody188]

NIRVANA REUNION lol

[:xMCR>.<Skyx:]

Red_Hot_Fuzz wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Blasphemy! He has spoken Blasphemy!!!

go to hell. santa's not gonna bring you presents, he's just gonna sit on you.

[lord_yggdrasill]

this was funny :]

[rifftnstrings]

Funny stuff, except for the Buckethead thing. If he were unmasked, that would ruin the Buckethead persona. He would literally cease to be Buckethead.

[Natrone]

Unmask Buckethead and play GH with Slash.

Talk about an awesome Christmas!

[Clancey3]

buckethead is brian carrol

[Pingis_Or_Death]

andresbejar wrote:
fredrik is better than mohammed guy

no

[hippie_guy]

Cody188 wrote:

NIRVANA REUNION lol

yeah, i'd like to see that... get a few necromancers, and it's done

[MonsterOfRock]

"Acme Penis Spawner"

This article wins the intarwebs.

[nikki99]

lmao.

[LÅLÅLÅ!]

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

I do enjoy Paramore, it's a good band. FOB'll never beat them, they plain out suck. But the two last mentioned I can agree on. TH and the Jonas Bitches plain out suck.

[Xeus]

i'd definatly **** amy kelly

[metal_666_man]

hahaha

[deadstring_3000]

hey,what's up with the wish for green day?
maybe that person who wished that thing should wear the gorilla costumes and try to climb all the towers and buildings in new york city...

[Td_Nights]

Uhm...`bout the Buckethead thing.

Nobody but me has watched the Young Buckethead DVDs, have they?

[sephiroth033]

Red_Hot_Fuzz wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Blasphemy! He has spoken Blasphemy!!!

I second the crap out of that.

[sephiroth033]

Captain Penguin wrote:

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

you sir, win.

I second this guy too haha

[DeadlyKombat]

sephiroth033 wrote:

Captain Penguin wrote:

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

WHAT?!?!? Music Stopped Evolving!

now what do we do?

[Hobo279]

sephiroth033 wrote:

Captain Penguin wrote:

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

you sir, win.
I second this guy too haha

thirded!

[ETHANR26]

Hobo279 wrote:

sephiroth033 wrote:

Captain Penguin wrote:

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

you sir, win.
I second this guy too haha

thirded!

that is the funniest thing i have read in awhile =)

ieatursoul wrote:

i had a dream some fat chick on a lawn mower was trying to kill me last night. was pretty messed up.

what the ****?

[blackborrego]

FUNNY SHIT ! XD

[RED93]

Santa I want system of a down back togheter!

[potatoejunkie]

Megadeth2011 wrote:

Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!

buckethead unmasked?...we would find axl rose
but if you take his bucket away his name would be "head", and that's a pretty lame name

Checked??

[Hell_Metalist]

...and fredrik is better than mohammed guy

Nope. Listen to some Necrophagist...

[ETHANR26]

RED93 wrote:

Santa I want system of a down back togheter!

Me too

[gevevgev]

GIVE MY GUITAR WITH 2 NECK (BASS AND SOLO) PLEASEEEEE

[gevevgev]

AND I WANT SYSTEM OF A DOWN TO EUROVISION 2009

[Rain Lancer]

Lol, some of those were genius.

[Essiath13]

Cody188 wrote:

NIRVANA REUNION lol

that would be awesome

[maccamaster]

Hell_Metalist :
...and fredrik is better than mohammed guy

Nope. Listen to some Necrophagist...


i LOVE NECROPHAGIST!!
my favourite is fermented offal discharge!

[andychalmers102]

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

Paramore are far better than Fall Out Boy!!

[papershredder]

andychalmers102 wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

Paramore are far better than Fall Out Boy!!

agreed, and also i have never listened to tokio hotel, and UG hasnt really made me want to.

[Posiedeon]

no way slash would kick my ass on guitar hero, especially on through the fire and flames

[koreanhitokori]

papershredder wrote:

andychalmers102 wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

Paramore are far better than Fall Out Boy!!

agreed, and also i have never listened to tokio hotel, and UG hasnt really made me want to.

I stand by the statement that paramore are one of the more decent bands (and forgive me for being shallow, but that lead singer is a pretty person). FOB and JS do deserve none of the fame they recieve. But (and for the love of God, don't flame me for this, cuz I really don't have a clue) what's with all the hatred towards tokio hotel? are they like the european post-AFI? I'm just a lil' honestly confused about the hate

[ThorDevlin]

Megadeth2011 wrote:

Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!Unmask Buckethead?

And now folks, we will unmask buckethead!
*lifts bucket*
Lil Wayne?!

Come on, everyone knows its really Chuck Norris behind the mask!

[ThorDevlin]

Dang it, i copied twice, why do i fail so badly..

[DroptheBomb]

Alexishxc1337 wrote:

The Fall Out Boy thing was one of the most immature things I've ever seen published on this site.

well fall out boy is a very immature band.

when the majority of your music primarily appeals to 13-14 year old girls,

im quite sure that constitutes on being immature.

and theres no real difference between paramore jonas brothers and fall out boy, except paramore is not as popular...

but i would nail the lead singer

[slayaplaya]

What about my dream where I Buy a squid-sandwich from Buckethead?

I submitted it...

[noodlerod]

like its Billie Joe.. you know.. not Billy Joe.
sorry but i just have to point that out.

[Flying Afros]

OversoulFF wrote:

fall out boy aint even a band. theyre just a bunch a wussie ass cross dressers who bang each other

+1

[PatchKelly]

hide_the_beer wrote:

They didn't mention what I wanted for Christmas...
A guitar that dispenses bacon

that would simply be amazing

[Vinura]

OversoulFF wrote:

fall out boy aint even a band. theyre just a bunch a wussie ass cross dressers who bang each other

+1

+ infinity

[DOOdooroCK]

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

thx u

[KrowsMacabre]

Rofl! That made my day! If only Santa could bring Kurt Cobain back from the dead... And Fall Out Boy writing enjoyable songs? Impossible! haha

[iAlternative]

Cheap shot on the Fall Out Boy mention. I'm surprised a website like this would ever make fun of bands that actually have success, whether they like them or not...

[wadekitchen95]

i could so kick slash's butt on Guitar Hero! Even on welcome to the jungle!

[ShredZeppelin74]

acme penis spawner! LMAO

Checked...?

[gophergun]

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Strange how 5 people in the world can make this band massive.

Don't be an idiot, they are a solid band im sick and tired of people on this site bad mouthing them.

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

Oh god, I love this post so much.

[Teh Skisgaars]

Red_Hot_Fuzz wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...
Blasphemy! He has spoken Blasphemy!!!

+1
i say exile kevy
+1 if you agree

[kvltpolice666]

**** yeah CHUCK SCHULDINER!

[YamiJoey]

What's wrong with Rick Astley?

[ThorDevlin]

Its much more likely that Cobain would be brought back from the dead, than it would for Fall Out Boy to produce good music..or even real music at all..

[Cumulus79]

TheSoother wrote:

i think Dave Mustaine, Buckethead, Cliff Burton, and Lars Ulrich should form a super band called: Metal Up UR Ass.

lol. they should. theyd be the biigest thing in this crappy music era

[guitarfreak222]

Red_Hot_Fuzz wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...
Blasphemy! He has spoken Blasphemy!!!

LMAO yes....blasphemy indeed.

[angus_vanhalen]

RED93 wrote:

Santa I want system of a down back togheter!

AMEN BROTHER and also my friend had a dream he was out in the back country building fences with Ted Nugent

[ElThomas]

buckethead unmasked.....

OMG its a Slash/Wes Borland Hybrid! ah!!!

And Santy Clause here's my wish list:
Led Zep Reunion w/ Robert Plant
Chickenfoot ceases to exist
Pete Wentz really does get pregnant-has to pass child out his penis like an over-sized kidney stone
Dimebag, Layne Staley, Randy Rhoads, etc perform 1 giant show before returning to the grave
SOAD reunites
Pavement and Smashing Pumpkins reconcile differences (or just an sp reunion with the original lineup)
I get guitar lessons with Ledbelly
The Jonas Brothers die in a "tragic" accident
Misfits (with Glan Danzig) and Dead Kennedys (with Jello Biafra) and go on tour together...i get backstage passes

My only weird guitar dream:
I'm playing a show with Sublime...I am the dog

[ElThomas]

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's...better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

true. il give you that. but cmon. really? they ARE that bad

[deadstring_3000]

hey...
the wish for fall out boy is funny..hahah
and cradle of filth??with a fall out boy song???hahahahahah
maybe fall out boy with a cradle of filth song..that is more appropriate..right?

[Daveofbodom]

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

I Love This Post So Much I Wanna Have Sex With It!

Check.

[GunsN'Roses_FAN]

guitarp_11 wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...

Ya, you and five other people in America...

LMAO i apply agreement on this statement!! funny bro u really made my day =)

[kendog1327]

i want a nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store for christmas,,,leave buckethead alone

[realpaintheory]

# “I was at a Rick Astley concert...”

Shit.
Even UG's being rick rolled.

Also, Fallout Boy are just the US version of Boyzone. Crappy pop that doesn't deserve a mention on UG.

[lockless7x]

i like how every time someone mentions fallout boy, it turns into an article about them. Honestly i think its just pete wentz that sucks.

[kendog1327]

lockless7x wrote:

i like how every time someone mentions fallout boy, it turns into an article about them. Honestly i think its just pete wentz that sucks.

[kendog1327]

kendog1327 wrote:

lockless7x wrote:no,,they all suck

i like how every time someone mentions fallout boy, it turns into an article about them. Honestly i think its just pete wentz that sucks.

[kendog1327]

kendog1327 wrote:

lockless7x wrote:

i like how every time someone mentions fallout boy, it turns into an article about them. Honestly i think its just pete wentz that sucks.

no,, they all suck

[kendog1327]

BUCKETHEAD IS GOD,,

[conrad523]

lol great
just brialliant

[Jimmm5057]

yeah that would b funny if fall out by became a good band....but that'll never happen because there a buncha pretty boy duece bags who reley on there looks for there popularity

[LÅLÅLÅ!]

koreanhitokori wrote:

papershredder wrote:

andychalmers102 wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

Paramore are far better than Fall Out Boy!!

agreed, and also i have never listened to tokio hotel, and UG hasnt really made me want to.

I stand by the statement that paramore are one of the more decent bands (and forgive me for being shallow, but that lead singer is a pretty person). FOB and JS do deserve none of the fame they recieve. But (and for the love of God, don't flame me for this, cuz I really don't have a clue) what's with all the hatred towards tokio hotel? are they like the european post-AFI? I'm just a lil' honestly confused about the hate

I perfectly agree. I might be one of them who dislike Tokio Hotel. But that is for several personal reasons; I dislike their music, I dislike the factum that they've spelled the capital of Japan's name wrong. (JP is my fav country) And I dislike the factum they sound like 7-year-old girls... ANd yeah, Hayley Williams is a pretty girl. But still a great singer.

[LÅLÅLÅ!]

deadstring_3000 wrote:

hey...
the wish for fall out boy is funny..hahah
and cradle of filth??with a fall out boy song???hahahahahah
maybe fall out boy with a cradle of filth song..that is more appropriate..right?

Yeah, it is.. Cradle of Filth are satanic, Fall Out Boy is.... I don't know; nasty? O_o But Filth was the first metal I heard. xD I love that band. It might explain some of my satanic habits... I'm not a satanist, OK? O_O

[zacha]

santas head would esplode after taking his mask off and buckethead would put it back on and walk away like nothing happened

[kenton1995]

haha sooooo funny
mine is to go up on stage with slipknot and kick micks ass at guitar
woooohooo

[Microsoftsam90]

what if every member of the jonas brothers lost there hands in some freak accident involving guitar strings and couldnt play anymore music for the rest of their lives.

[stegbar11]

i wish the GNR wuld reform ; ;

[Dilpickle1]

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

Blasphemy! He has spoken Blasphemy!!!

[mudrock1000]

Teh Skisgaars wrote:

Red_Hot_Fuzz wrote:

Kevy Absolution wrote:

First. I love Fall Out Boy, so come on...
Blasphemy! He has spoken Blasphemy!!!
+1
i say exile kevy
+1 if you agree

This is madness....
madness?
THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!

[mudrock1000]

With that being said, I want it to rain guitars XD. Spare parts for everyone XD.
The sad thing is i could see Green Day actually playing in gorilla suits lol.

[rasugod]

Obviously FOB doesn't suck since they are one the most popular bands around. Everybody on this site hates them though

[ElThomas]

rasugod wrote:

Obviously FOB doesn't suck since they are one the most popular bands around. Everybody on this site hates them though

we hate them because we have taste

[WolfenRock]

Thats funny about Buckethead...
I was looking up the tab for "Better" from the new album, My ol' friend brooke went and burnt the CD for me, And it included the buckethead solo, so I'm like "BUCKETHEAD!? When the **** did he come back?! he cant be wearing that damn mask thing anymore can he!?" im bout to go and find out see if theres any videos from the album.

[Dempsinator]

Alpha_Wolf wrote:

Adam124 wrote:

Strange how 5 people in the world can make this band massive.

Don't be an idiot, they are a solid band im sick and tired of people on this site bad mouthing them.

Grow the hell up, music is evolving just ****ing accept it.

In that case, I would press B to stop it from evolving.

lmao pokemon reference! :p and i agree with the not letting it evolve. lets go back to what was good in 70's and 80's like Led Zeppelin

[Kickflip66]

[quote]PDMChubby wrote:

hippie_guy wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

I AGREE !!! there can't be a band worse that Tokio Hotel ! it's the ultimate expression of crap, but what is worst about them is that their crap is actually listened to by a lot of emo kids at my school ! i hate it !!! METAL FµCKING RULES !!!

hmm yes let's all just listen to metal and never grow up, or cut our hair, or listen to other kinds of music cause heaven forbid we might enjoy something other than metal/metal-core/hardcore/death-metal etc...
c'mon you already listen to about 70 genres of metal alone, may as well add another one of non metal

[Kickflip66]

Vinura wrote:

OversoulFF wrote:

fall out boy aint even a band. theyre just a bunch a wussie ass cross dressers who bang each other

+ infinity

ahhh that lovely combination of homophobia and ignorance....

[melancholy_duck]

hippie_guy wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

I AGREE !!! there can't be a band worse that Tokio Hotel ! it's the ultimate expression of crap, but what is worst about them is that their crap is actually listened to by a lot of emo kids at my school ! i hate it !!! METAL FµCKING RULES !!!

So just because you're so narrow minded to only ever accept the type of music that YOU like, that means that people here who might like those bands have to read about how much you dont like them... very mature

[melancholy_duck]

LÅLÅLÅ! wrote:

koreanhitokori wrote:

papershredder wrote:

andychalmers102 wrote:

PrettyxOdd wrote:

Fall Out Boy's not THAT bad..
They're better than Paramore, tokio hotel and The Jonas Brothers.

Paramore are far better than Fall Out Boy!!

agreed, and also i have never listened to tokio hotel, and UG hasnt really made me want to.

I stand by the statement that paramore are one of the more decent bands (and forgive me for being shallow, but that lead singer is a pretty person). FOB and JS do deserve none of the fame they recieve. But (and for the love of God, don't flame me for this, cuz I really don't have a clue) what's with all the hatred towards tokio hotel? are they like the european post-AFI? I'm just a lil' honestly confused about the hate

I perfectly agree. I might be one of them who dislike Tokio Hotel. But that is for several personal reasons; I dislike their music, I dislike the factum that they've spelled the capital of Japan's name wrong. (JP is my fav country) And I dislike the factum they sound like 7-year-old girls... ANd yeah, Hayley Williams is a pretty girl. But still a great singer.

they didnt spell 'tokio' wrong, theyre german, so they spelled it the german way

[datahazard]

LOL, I saw Slash play Guitar Hero in an interview on PalTalk. He was terrible.

[frettinfreak420]

Man, you people should know that slash ISN'T the best guiatrist in the world. DUH!

[demitriv]

Fall Out Boy don't suck

[melancholy_duck]

demitriv wrote:

Fall Out Boy don't suck

Finally someone who isnt just agreeing with everyone else! XD

[rhcp01]

JamesxHetfield :
FUCK Guitar Hero. I'd play ****in real guitar with him

damn you took my comment. but id rather play with joe satriani or yngwie malmsteen