5 Iconic Rock Stars That Don't Actually Exist

author: JohnSeminario date: 04/30/2014 category: fiction
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5 Iconic Rock Stars That Don't Actually Exist
The list may actually surprise you.

5. Chad Smith

Chad Smith, like Ron Burgundy, is nothing more than a fictional character created by Will Ferrell. When playing Chad Smith, Ferrell is completely committed to the persona. Ferrell has even gone so far as to acknowledge his own joke when, during an interview as "Chad Smith," he wore a shirt that literally read "I Am Not Will Ferrell" on it. Most recently, Will Ferrell has challenged his own made up character to a drum battle to help raise money for charity - it turned out absolutely cool. Stay classy, Mr. Ferrell!

4. Dave Mustaine 

Dave Mustaine is a metal machine both literally and figuratively. While Mustaine does front Megadeth, one of today's most listened to metal bands, perhaps the most "metal" thing about Dave is the fact that he's actually made of metal. That's right, Mustaine is a robot. While anyone from Metallica will tell you otherwise, Dave Mustaine was actually originally manufactured fifteen miles south of Area 51. It's rumored that he was built by the Republican Party to slander Obama, but began to disobey his masters and turned to the most rebellious thing he could think of: being in a metal band. To this day though, fragments of his programming still seep through, prompting him to, once again, speak up about Obama, Christianity, etc. Poor, poor Dave Mustaine. May he Rust In Peace...

3. Paul McCartney

Paul is not dead. Actually, Paul is not real. During the formative years of The Beatles, John, George, and Ringo desperately needed someone to play along to the bass tracks Lennon had recorded live. They recruited a local actor named Stevie Riks to play the part of a fictional band mate they created; a band mate they called Paul McCartney. Riks quickly became attached to the character, though. So much so that, when the band went as far as to "kill McCartney," Riks decided to bring the character back. To this day, having gradually taught himself to play music, Riks still performs as Sir Paul McCartney.

2. Slash

Rock and roll needed a mascot and the answer was Slash. Slash is as fake as they come. The riffs, the look, the top hat? I don't think so. In fact, "South Park" has actually aired an episode exposing Slash's false identity (which this article isn't ripping off). During the recording of Guns N' Roses' recognizable album, "Appetite for Destruction," Slash was created to boost the popularity of the band. Stories claim that Axl Rose, the band's frontman, became agitated when people loved Slash, a made up character, more than him. He proceeded to "kick Slash out of the band" and refuses to acknowledge him to this day. Musicians continue to release mediocre riff-based albums under Slash's name "just to keep the urban legend alive, man!"

1. Kanye West

Kanye's not a rock star. Don't listen if he tells you otherwise...


And that's our list! In the stereotypical Ultimate-Guitar fashion, I guess I should ask you who you'd put on the list! Did we forget anything? Should someone else be up there? Let us know in the comments! And for stuff almost as "almost funny" as this, be sure to follow @John_Seminario_ on Twitter!
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