Prog thingy. (GP4/GP5)


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creeping.death!
02-03-2009, 08:21 PM
This is a song I've been working on for the past two days. It's not finished yet, so don't be too harsh Flame me all you want now :D

I'll do C4C, by the way :)


UPDATE! I erased the old intro and wrote a new one (went for a more atmospheric approach). Everything else is pretty much the same (well, I lowered the volume of the drums a bit in the "Rise from the grave..." part).
Oh, and I added a midi :).

NEW UPDATE! Finished the "The Army..." and started a new section (nameless for the time being). The transition is kinda meh, I'll probably do something about it later.

It's finished!!!and even though I'll probably fix some details and stuff, I'm not planning on doing any substantial changes, so this is basically the finished product.
Enjoy!

Seth Shadows
02-04-2009, 01:47 AM
Ouch.
My knowledge of scales + Melody.
:(
Major Ouch.
:(
I don't get what you're trying to say with this piece.

The Grem
02-05-2009, 01:06 AM
This song has a really cool atmosphere and some sections are really cool. However, the first section was brutal(harsh, too bad), I don't know if it sounds better on real guitar or not, but if it doesn't I would totally scrap it. The odd time signatures don't really work in this song, they seem to take a lot of the flow away, and are not interesting enough to make up for ruining the flow. The 14/8 section is pretty awesome, but I still get that feeling that it would be more effective in a simpler time signature. Piano Section needs the notes to be more varied in length. Also the song pretty much just stops halfway through, it would be way better if you could seamlessly move between the two parts, and even back and forth between them.

Overall great atmosphere and good writing, but I think it would be much better with a groove and flow.

creeping.death!
02-05-2009, 01:35 AM
This song has a really cool atmosphere and some sections are really cool. However, the first section was brutal(harsh, too bad), I don't know if it sounds better on real guitar or not, but if it doesn't I would totally scrap it. The odd time signatures don't really work in this song, they seem to take a lot of the flow away, and are not interesting enough to make up for ruining the flow. The 14/8 section is pretty awesome, but I still get that feeling that it would be more effective in a simpler time signature. Piano Section needs the notes to be more varied in length. Also the song pretty much just stops halfway through, it would be way better if you could seamlessly move between the two parts, and even back and forth between them.

Overall great atmosphere and good writing, but I think it would be much better with a groove and flow.

Yeah, I wasn't really happy with the beggining either, guess it'll have to go.I'm also gonna try to improve on the things you mentioned (probably update soon).Thank you for your honest critique.

By the way, if you have anything you'd like me to critic, send me a link :).

Amuro Jay
02-05-2009, 12:21 PM
That was way prog. I kind of get where you're trying to go with the bends in the first section of the piece, I think it would probably sound better in real life than on GP. This piece is heavy in atmosphere, and there are some really good parts to it. But I see it as more of a collection of interludes that you could use in an epic concept album about zombies than a song.

Care to check out mine?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=18485799#post18485799

adaeha
02-06-2009, 02:13 PM
Halloween Night:
I like the intro alot. Loved the use of diminished scale on piano, and strings complemented it very well. I don't think the drums were quite loud enough, could only really hear the open hi-hat. A bass line would probably work, if it was very subtle.
10/10

Rise from the Grave:
easily my favorite section in this piece. Drums have got a pretty sweet groove in them that only adds to the atmosphere to the song. Piano is just an extremely haunting melody, and again the strings compliment it. I would add a bassline, maybe an arpeggio of what the strings is playing, and get it to follow the drums. I love the little chromatic descent part at Bar 40.
10/10

The Hunt Begins:
Unfortunately, easily to me the worst part. I think its really clever and all, especially with the 14/8 time signature, but it just sounds so out of place. It really to me, doesn't fit the mood at all, too much of a swing feel to it. I think its a great selection of notes, its just the rhythm that gets to me. Also that Eaug chord sounds a bit out, try changing it a C instead. It sounds less evil but it totally fits with that section XD.
8/10

Looking for a Place to Hide:
I think you went abit to heavy on the chromatics here my friend :). As the section on its own, its still pretty sweet. Love the higher notes on piano and the sitar, very haunting melody, and the little deceleration at the end is pretty cool - But so far, up to this point very little has gone on. There hasn't really been any major change in dynamics. It drags to be honest.
9/10

The army of the dead approaches:
Wow.. this is like... oh my god, the first time we actually come into a 4/4 time signature (I think). This section really needs some guitars at this point. Just to play some chords or something, because that piano sound kinda awfully lonely with just the drums. Bar 93 onwards actually got a giggle out of me, because that section is so corny! In a good way of of course. You kinda like, had this really dark thing going on before it... then... da. da. da. daa da-daaa daa daa daa. Its a totally legend and memorable section, but it doesn't work.
8/10

As jetfuel said, its more of a collection of interludes. Its totally kickass up to "Rise" but then it just sort of looses its sense of direction at "hunt". If I were you, I'd probably put aside anything from "Hunt" onwards and continue on from "Rise". Sort of like an epic build-up of instruments, then go into something fast. Then if it works, try bringing the other parts in later.

As an average of the individual riffs, I'd say 9/10, but because its kinda all over the place I'll probably say 6/10, as its arrangement is a bit iffy, and on the account that its not finished yet. Good job though, needs work though.

creeping.death!
02-06-2009, 04:33 PM
Regarding it being all over the place, I honestly think that the music represents pretty well what I wanted to in all the sections. I admit that maybe the song as a whole doesn't flow as well, but that's part of why I made different sections: to represent different things (within one theme).

By the way, it's not really supposed to be creepy or scary. Yes, it's about zombies, but in a more tongue-in-cheek kinda way (hence the cornyness of some parts). Keep that in mind.

Oh, and thank you for your critique :)

DiminishedFifth
02-06-2009, 11:24 PM
Halloween Night: Very haunting. But it seems like it drags for me... I like the use of diminished scales. If it wasn't for the strings i'd get bored pretty fast.

Rise From the Dead: Ooohh... I totally get that zombie thing from this section. To me I see like... the way they rise in my head. It's like how in movies it always has a whole scene just on them coming out.

The Hunt Begins: This sounds different from the rest. It has a 'hunt' feel I guess, but it doesn't seem to flow too well with the rest in my opinion. Why couldn't you just put it in 7/8? 14/8 seems a little... out of place. I like the change in tempo. It fits very nicely.

Looking for a Place to Hide: Once again, very haunting. Nice use of the diminished once again... I think this is one of the only pieces that I know of that predominately uses the diminished scale. It sounds very ambiguous but in a good way usually. The slow down fits very well. I like the transition here.

The Army of the Dead Approaches: I can only assume you're going for a chaotic sound. I think a complex time signature would work wonders for that. But even in 4/4 you make it seem a little chaotic. I can imagine people running, and carnage everywhere, so chaotic is what would seem to fit most to me.

Overall, it's a very nice song. Very, very haunting. The atmosphere is dark and foreboding, with good use of chromatics and diminished scales. I will agree with everyone else though, it seems like it's more of a collaboration of interludes rather than a full song. It seems like it would work very well on a "zombie" concept album. Other than that, the transitions are really the only thing that bothers me. I think you should add a chaotic bass line to The Army of The Dead Approaches, but that's just me. Not immediately, but after like 2 or 4 measures.

I give it a 9/10

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1062708

The Spoon
02-07-2009, 10:24 PM
Halloween Night: Pretty nice melody. I like the use of drums and piano. the synth is really nice too. I like how it builds up
Rise from the grave: Pretty creepy and cool
The hunt begins...: bassline is pretty danceable.
Looking for a place to hide: by this part, i realized this was mostly a piano song. i really like that. the melody at the beginning is very nice. you're good at making a creepy atmosphere.
Army of dead: i dont like this intro....it kinda ruins the flow for me. not that interesting

Overall, its a pretty good song. at some parts, it seems very scary and it fits. other parts make it sound like its the soundtrack to a musical. not sure if thats what you were going for, but its an interesting piece nonetheless

8.5/10

lionslicer9999
02-07-2009, 10:27 PM
Very creepy... sounds like s soundtrack to a scary movie or something

huevos
02-07-2009, 10:54 PM
Creepypastas!

Reminds me of Danceclub Massacre, minus the deathcore.

Overall, it is good. Reminds of pretentious pseudo-avant-jazz, the kind that indie****tards and hipsters would love, because it's sooooooo ironic.
I think it's the corny cheeseball atomsphere of it. Zombies are serious business, don't you forget that.
I think the beginning and the 14/8 part are possibly the best parts. They have a vicious vibe to them. That would be the part in the movie where the zombies rise and eat everyone in a caberet club. Sounds nice.

The guitar comes in too late and is not brootal enough.

If you want to C4C, check out Licked_Salt or Creepypasta. In the Mein Comps link, of course.

creeping.death!
02-07-2009, 11:25 PM
I think the beginning and the 14/8 part are possibly the best parts. They have a vicious vibe to them. That would be the part in the movie where the zombies rise and eat everyone in a caberet club. Sounds nice.


Oh, thank you for that. I was worried because nobody got what I was trying to express in that section (14/8).
At least I'm not the only one who gets that message from it ;) .

a7xrocks02
02-08-2009, 04:16 PM
I agree with about everything here.

5/10

I will do a more detailed crit when i get time.

HWFG1
02-08-2009, 10:55 PM
That has an amazing feel. "Zombies" or "Halloween" sums it up nicely. Not much to say about it, though. "All Dead" is too repetitive. It speaks the concept very well though, which is hard to say about most conceptual songs. "Looking for a Place to Hide" is good, until the harmony comes in. I dunno...I just don't like the harmony. The first few bars of "The Army of the Dead Approaches" have a weird timing (the ones with the rests), and the solo was, well...I dunno. It seemed out of place. Also seems like that part could've been shortened a bit.



Thanks for the crit, by the way.

SOADisdabest
02-11-2009, 10:51 AM
Critting as I go

Halloween night: Very creepy atmosphere, the slow drumming helps build the scary tension, good job there, and the strings fits in nicely as well.

Rise From The Grave: Change of drum beat makes it a lot more suspenseful, and so do the triplets, you've definitely got skill when it comes to building tension.

The Hunt Begins...: I really liked this part, it had an interesting tongue in cheek feel, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Awesome

Looking For A Place To Hide: More creepy atmosphere. I like it. The sitar caught me off guard, but it brings something new to the table where it's needed , so it works well there.

The Army Of The Dead Approaches: The jumpy notes definitely gave a suspenseful feel, made me feel like I was in a game of Red Light, Green Light. Sort of gives a marching atmosphere which is perfect for this part in the concept, and had more tongue in cheek goodness, which I love so much about this piece. Bass is also awesome in this part.

All Dead: Very creepy again, with out losing the silliness, for lack of a better word. It felt a bit drawn out though.

Overall 8/10 You've built atmosphere very well.

monkeysintheday
02-16-2009, 11:22 AM
I enjoyed the first 2 sections of this, it has the feeling that there is some sort of zombie attack going to happen. The 3rd section takes that feeling away and makes me think Turner and Hooch are looking for zombies. As far as time signatures go, this would definitely work better in 4/4, the constant switching time signatures for what sounds like the same part ruins the flow of the song.
Overall it's not bad, but it feels more like a collection of different songs more than one song.

edgespear
02-16-2009, 11:39 AM
It's not bad but...what the hell happened at bar 134-135?? It just suddenly went to a jonty piano part and it was just like..woah WTH?
Overall not bad. As said before it doesn't flow that well and feels more of a collaboration rather than a song but still good. It's feels like it should be in a halloween special of a cartoon show...

lordofthefood1
02-16-2009, 08:17 PM
The part where it switches back and forth from piano to guitar is the only part I don't like (it is near the end if I remember correctly)

My favorite part is the end with the piano chording and multiple guitar harmonies
(such silly fun chords, I love them)

MaidenPriest666
02-17-2009, 01:59 AM
SCARY i liked it, the solos were. . . ok i guess, too chromatic, maybe make it more EPIC you know>

zaqwsx170
02-19-2009, 09:26 PM
I'm not going to get too specific, but I just thought the whole thing sounded really annoying, and scary-Halloween like. I couldn't stand it.

I just didn't like the whole scary vibe.

BKGMorley
08-12-2009, 06:27 PM
the hunt begins, that all i have to say. 10/10