On Broken Wings [*.gp5|*.gp4|*.mid] [??? Genre]


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defiance64
02-21-2009, 05:28 PM
Just another song :)

Crit4Crit

I know I know, everyone will hate it :(

"Too repetitive" is always my killer and "bad solo" lol

Malakiancopycat
02-21-2009, 05:33 PM
Just another song :)

Crit4Crit

I know I know, everyone will hate it :(

"Too repetitive" is always my killer and "bad solo" lol


dont be so repeditive hah. what you had was great though

Kwonnie
02-21-2009, 05:50 PM
Solo's more like a lead. It repeats the same measure far too much. The major issue with repetition is the title >.>
I've got 10 or so songs with the same title by different artists in my iTunes.

rodrigomierh
02-21-2009, 05:51 PM
Sounds like nirvana. I like it, it's simple yet sounds good with the RES on. I like the bass parts that aren't just root notes like in verse 2. The lead guitar was great, adds a lot to the song, the only thing i didn't like as you said is the solo.
The transition from the chorus to the piano thing was weird.

I thing it's a good song, and I didn't find it that repetitive, Actually if it didn't have vocals, I would think it is a post rock song. So yeah, it can be a kind of grunge song if it has vocals, or it can be a instrumental post Rock song. Anyway great job.

Ps. Mind critting mine? (new one in sig) Thanks.

randomthought9
02-23-2009, 04:32 AM
just to be picky, i changed the lead vocals to clarinet, and backing vocals to synth voice, I think it sounds better.

"i hate you" repeats a little too much both words and melody. maybe change them up a little/add something new?
liked the intro.
i like the verse vocals.
good transition into chorus.
like the chorus. good vocal melody, catchy. nice use of backing vocals too.
with the piano interlude it does kind of jump into it, i could see that. i liked the piano part though, i didnt mind the transition too much.
i like the way the bass stands out in the pre solo, but then again i like that kind of thing, like lead/up front bass. i think all the instruments work well together in the pre solo.
i'm not a fan of that solo though. way too repetitive, it picked up a little bit when it became the 32nd notes though. as it is now though, the solo goes on way too long, and feels repetitive. if i were you, i'd go for a shorter, simpler solo, maybe based off the chorus vocal melody. ie: weezer, nirvana, etc. i think that is the best part of your song, which is definitely a good thing, as the average listener cares most about a catchy chorus with good vocals, and that's what i think you have.
again, the vocal melody in the bridge gets repetitive: bar 122-129. like i said, i'd add a little extra. it's too repetitive.
liked the 3rd voice in the final chorus, it gave it a bit more to end on.
all in all, i like the song. with a little bit more work, you have a nice tune. i would definitely listen to a recording once you fix a few problems, but you're almost there definitely. good song. c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1074215