[Calm Instrumental] Lost in a Dream (GP5, MIDI) C4C


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Spency
02-26-2009, 04:09 AM
I wrote this piece for my year 12 HSC composition. The only restriction is that it must be under 2 minutes and it can't be a basic rock song. All feedback is appreciated as this piece is worth 10% of my music 2 HSC.

This piece includes, Acoustic Guitar, Drums, Violin and Bass.

I will C4C, just post the link and I'll return the favour.

Edit: I have updated my piece to give it more of a climax.

ultimate-slash
02-26-2009, 08:50 AM
Sounds really good:p
the only thing I have to say really is that maybe the drumtrack is maybe a little basic or something? nothing wrong with that off course, but it may start to get a tad boring if you pay too much attention to the background of the song:p maybe you could try adding some more into the drums at the repeat part, spicing it up a little bit? but that's just my opinion:p

and besides that I think the song covers itself up for the most part, if you would only take the guitar apart for instance, maybe the repeat would be a tad too much, but you've solved that by changing from violin to bass, which makes it more interesting to listen to, all in all I would say that this a very nice piece of art:)

real good job dude 10/10

could you please have a look at my piece?
thanx:p

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1070789&highlight=faded+dream

Macabre_Turtle
02-26-2009, 04:25 PM
I couldn't hear any of the percussion. My GP won't play those pieces.
It certainly shows your understanding of music, but it just really doesn't entertain me. It just seems pretty hollow to me, if you know what I mean. Like there's not enough background support. So, maybe add another guitar or a harp or piano to do some more chord work. I think that would make a drastic difference. Also, I'd say some kind of bridge is needed, because there's just one flat mood the whole way, which I'm not a fan of.

C4C? If you're into calmer stuff like this then my "Third Movement" would be the best for you to look at.

Spency
02-27-2009, 01:54 AM
Ultimate-Slash: I'll definitely try spicing up the drum track the next time i get to play practice on a drum.

Macabre_Turtle: Without the drums my piece does sound extremely hollow, but hopefully after I alter them a bit there will be a bigger sound to the piece. I'll fiddle around a bit with some backing chords and see if it'll fit.
The only problem with trying to add a bridge is that i have the 2 minute restriction and it's currently at 1:53.

Macabre_Turtle
02-27-2009, 02:02 AM
Macabre_Turtle: Without the drums my piece does sound extremely hollow, but hopefully after I alter them a bit there will be a bigger sound to the piece. I'll fiddle around a bit with some backing chords and see if it'll fit.
The only problem with trying to add a bridge is that i have the 2 minute restriction and it's currently at 1:53.

Maybe you could speed it up a tad and remove a repeat for more time? It's not super important, I just think it would spice it up.

St.Loony
02-27-2009, 04:39 AM
Thanks for the crit. Will return when I'm at home and hopefully feeling better

*Blackdotted* :cheers:

BlackandSilver
02-27-2009, 08:30 PM
Lol well Lou asked me to do this crit. -Takes St.Loony's dot-

First, thanks for checking out Your's Sincerely. Now, my review.

This is a pretty nice piece here. Cool atmostphere, sweet melodies, but it's a little calm. It's kind of like a lullaby, and the mood doesn't move much. I like the sound, but it left me expecting a progression. For the nice feeling, though, I'd give it a 8/10. I'd like to hear more of your work.

Spency
03-19-2009, 02:26 AM
I finally got around to altering the piece. The things i changed were the Intro, I got rid of the Repeat, and I added a piano part to add more of a climax to the ending.
The intro is just a very simple harmonic thing. This is supposed to act as the person falling asleep and the rest of the song is about his dream.

I'm also thinking about ending the piece with an alarm clock to "wake the person up" from his dream.

JesseBlanchard
03-19-2009, 02:47 AM
Intro riff is kinda cool.
Bar eleven is exacly the same as a bar from some solo. Cant remember where though. Doesnt matter though since its only one bar.
I dont really enjoy the jungle drum type thing. Buts just according to taste, musically, it fits in well.
Starting at bar 30 sounds pretttty.
Piano coming in sounds okay, could be better though.

Only problem I have is with the jungle drums, thats it.

7/10.

C4C?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=19085966#post19085966

Macabre_Turtle
03-19-2009, 12:02 PM
I listened to the update.
It actually let me hear the percussion this time. Don't know why I couldn't before. But hearing that didn't fill out a lot of the "emptiness" I mentioned. And the piano did fix the flat mood. Good work, really.