Nyrestein [Death METUL] Gp4,5 and MIDI -C4C-


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valdean
02-26-2009, 10:32 PM
Alright.
So I was sick of seeing all these core songs here, so I decided to conjure some death metul.
I was heading for some old school death metal, would I say.
Death is probably one of my main influences within death metal, or metal in general, so you might see a resemblance there.
I tried to do a basic structure, unlike my other songs, where I do riff after riff.
I'm not very good at solos yet, so don't expect too much from that, but critizise it by all means.
I'm happy enough with the drums. I tried to not make them super technical, but powerful enough I hope.


So crit mine and I'll crit yours.

EDIT: Ok, I uploaded a new version. Redid the solo and some riffs. I'm not too sure about the solo, but oh well. I also edited the end a little, but I'm not sure about the outro solo thing, but I'll just have it there anyway.

Slaytanic1993
02-26-2009, 10:57 PM
Started off well enough, a pretty old school riff. Very Death-y, and sounds a bit like a couple riffs on Spiritual Healing :p:.

Everything went smoothly, the solo was okay, the drums were what you wanted them to be, powerful but not too technical. The "main riff" per se was pretty good but needed some variation or harmonization to make it a tad more interesting. Now, I know this is old school sounding, but that doesn't a good variation or motif isn't bad.

8.5ish/10

:cheers:

If you want to crit something of my, the black metal WIP songs I put up here a bit ago could use some healp.

tpkemme
02-27-2009, 12:43 AM
my crit upon listening to it is that, it's well thought out and put together, but it's a 'one note' composition.

for instance, all of the riffs and the solo are all different variations of constant sixteenth note or triplet sixteenth note patterns. there are basically no different rhythms and no different colors to the song. the solo is just straight sixteenth notes with a couple bends.

i think you've definitely conquered writing compositions from a technical standpoint because what you have is very good, but i think it could use some musical inspiration to set it apart.

8.5/10

crit?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1075603

Ripping Corpse
02-28-2009, 05:47 PM
sorry it took me so long to return your crit, but here it is.

It started off well, i like the first riff. like Slaytanic said, the 2nd riff reminded me a lot of death, which is no bad thing. im not sure i like the riff starting at bar 17, maybe you could change it a bit, but thats your choice and it fits in well enough with the song. the next 2 riffs were both good, but i didnt think they ran into each other very smoothly, maybe you could make a better link in between them, i dont know. i liked the solo and the next riff, they were good. the riff starting at 61 wasnt great though, maybe take that out. the transition back into the verse was good, and the next riff as well. the drums were good on the outro, but maybe the guitar or bass could do something a little more interesting, end with a flourish.

needs improvements to be epic, but still good. atm, 8/10.

The Arsis
02-28-2009, 06:41 PM
I liked your piece. i love the bar 9 riff because it is so old school death metal. I wished that i had the ability to write old school stuff. I think that bar 23 should be worked on a bit. I liked the song but I just wished that the solo was darker to fit the riff behind it a little more deathy, it sounded so chromatic/diminished ( I could be wrong) but it was good. I think you did a great job on the song overall. 8/10


http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1077865 C4C?

valdean
03-05-2009, 10:28 AM
Thanks guys. I'll change some things around, like the solo, and the two riffs after.
They sounded better on my guitar, but on second thought, I think I'll change them anyway.

I liked your piece. i love the bar 9 riff because it is so old school death metal. I wished that i had the ability to write old school stuff. I think that bar 23 should be worked on a bit. I liked the song but I just wished that the solo was darker to fit the riff behind it a little more deathy, it sounded so chromatic/diminished ( I could be wrong) but it was good. I think you did a great job on the song overall. 8/10


http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1077865 C4C?

Thanks.
Yeah, the solo is diminished. I'll change it.
Your thread looks like it's gone.
So if you want a crit, just upload it again.

destroy_techno
03-10-2009, 04:10 PM
Everythings pretty much been said already, but anyway

the riff at bar 9 is class, so is the riff at bar 28, but the transition into it isn't very smooth, it kinda needs work..

Work a bit with som of the drum patterns, it won't hurt at all

I actually think you should trash the intro, it's pretty boring IMO, just go straight to the bar 9 riff, or change the intro.

the trem riff at 74 is a bit generic, try adding some harmony with the solo guitar, I think it'd suit it.

overall good stuff though

crit mine? link in sig

Uber Man
03-10-2009, 08:13 PM
*yawn* if only the pit were this nice... lol... 6/10 over-used riffs, loose structure, and a lame first solo... this must seem like a real groin kick to you... well anywho, once you develop a little more musical theory im sure you'll understand your score. mix things up a bit, it goes on to long over one riff played by only three instruments...

BKGMorley
03-11-2009, 06:35 AM
ok now i dont want to be a dick. but not one riff stuck out to me. the 1st thing i noticed was that id say you need to bring the speed up about 5 or 10 bpm. the intro riff was the coolest. the rest were just standard metal riffage. the riff at 23 was cool too. the riff at 44 was interesting but the solo is crap. jus another metal solo. sorry man. maybe solo it down so that you can hear some of the notes. ok i tell a lie. the best riff is the one at 74. its gold

if your not too offended, can u please crit mine?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1083231