even more presents for derigiberble...


PDA

View Full Version : even more presents for derigiberble...


Derigidipsh*t
05-10-2009, 10:01 PM
led zeppelin facts:

All of Led Zeppelin's lyrics are based off of a poem from one of three collections by Robert Plant: Variations on Sexual Innuendo, Referencing Middle Earth, and Martin Scorsese Presents The Blues: A Musical Journey.

Jimmy Page has a seemingly irrational phobia of being bitten by mudsharks on his private parts. He continually refuses to explain why.

Robert Plant loves babies as a mid-morning snack, which is why he sings about them in almost all of his songs. "Baby, baby, baby..." Indeed, Plant spends much of his time today getting babysitting jobs for his neighbors. You can call his babysitting hotline at 1-800-BAB-EEEE.

Led Zeppelin is a symbol of the Dyslexia Association; each member suffered from severe learning disorders, and no one had the heart to tell them that they had misspelled 'lead.'

A full grown Jimmy Page weighs in at just under 60 lbs, though he wishes it were 52 lbs.

'ZoSo' was once rumoured to be Polish for 'retarded baby duck' by everyone without teeth in Hull, which is all of them.

Alchemists had tried for years to turn Led Zeppelin into Gold Zeppelin. Peter Grant and their record company finally got it right.

For three years Robert Plant was replaced by a tag team of a Russian Hooker and Yoko Ono. No one noticed.

Jimmy Page was born an Asian girl.

Although popular in most countries, Led Zeppelin never quite made it off the ground.
The artist formally known as Prince once fronted Led Zeppelin when Robert Plant came down with a rare form of Hepatitis Z, contracted when they were on their East Asian tour back in 1980. Prince changed lyrics, danced and gyrated, totally passing himself off as Plant to those hard core Asian Zeppelin fans.

Plant and Page are the classic cases of "British Men Turn Into Their Mothers" disease.

Krist Novoselic was once the "Other bass guy" and roadie for Led Zeppelin. He is currently with The White Stripes.

Although being considered one of the biggest, highest selling, most influential bands of all time, when you ask kids who watch MTV if "they listen to Led Zeppelin", in a clinical study, 9 out of 10 kids answered "oh, I don't listen to that guy" or "I don't know his music very well".

stairway to heaven facts:

There have been rumours that, due to lack of funding for the stairway, it would be going on sale to the public, namely a mysterious woman reportedly holding the scientific belief that all things with lustre are, in fact, made of pure gold.

At the base of the Stairway, there is a sign on the wall, but no one is sure what means, And you know sometimes words have two meanings.

A total of 31 people have died on the Stairway of starvation due to all of the stores being closed.

Due to a severe underspend by the Ministry of Celestial Travel, during the period 1982-1987 numerous signs were fitted to the parapets, many of which displayed double entendres. Many travelers could not be sure which of the two possible meanings was the more relevant, resulting in raised voices "of those who stand looking". A number of people attempted to follow "rings of smoke through the trees" which led to several substances being confiscated. It makes me wonder. Shortly afterwards the ambiguous signs were removed and a Building Preservation Notice was served to deter further ambiguity and structural damage.

In 1985 a telescope was built on top looking to the west. However, many people said looking through it made their spirit cry for leaving. The telescope was thus taken down in 1991, due to disuse and neglect.

Promises that a new day will dawn for those who stand long were ruled to be unsound in 1992 since these would, if delivered, clearly discriminate against the interests of those unable to stand long due to extreme youthfulness, extreme age, or other physical conditions (not necessarily long-term).

A case brought by nature conservation groups regarding the related conditional promise of "forests echoing with laughter" and their probable adverse impact upon the breeding patterns of wild birds was dropped in 1993, following the above-mentioned High Court ruling on equal opportunities.

In 1994, it was discovered that under certain circumstances the number of steps required to reach the top would be based solely on the total number of first degree murders that one had accidentally committed throughout his lifetime.

In 1995, following the discovery of tin foil, it was conclusively proved that all that glitters is not gold. The lady in question was informed but refused to changed the lyrics, countering that everything still turns to gold.

In 1996, as some people could not find their way on the stairway, it was decided to hire a guide for these people. But the most qualified person to take over this role was a piper, who claimed to lead people to reason by calling them to join him - moreover, in case they didn't know as, due to the high climb, some people had their heads humming and it wouldn't go.

In June of 1999, the Stairway to Heaven was at risk of demolition by Hell's Angels, a gang of physically disabled people who had been unable to climb the staircase and were sent to Hell instead - reportedly to keep them away from the media. Complaints soon evaporated when the gang realized that there were free drinks, quality food, and many recreational activities available in Hell. The Devil removed all three services in the 2002 remodeling.

It is rumored that somewhere on this mythical staircase is a tool shed, where Satan himself is often found, in his words, "...dealing with life's problems".
Early in 2005 the Stairway was briefly closed, due to unconfirmed reports of a bustle in a nearby hedgerow. Department of Homeland Security officials destroyed the hedgerow using napalm, but forensic examinations later established that the disturbance was just a spring clean for the May Queen, so there was no cause to be alarmed at all.

Later in 2005 reports that there are two paths that you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on, were quashed in a report by the traffic survey committee, who proved that if you took one of the paths that it would end up in you Going to California and that the only way to get back was to walk back along the path to the said stairway. On the plus side, there was plenty of room at the hotel.

After some time, it was discovered that walking up the stairway backwards would take you straight to Hell against all expectations. Many prominent theologians also claim that if you walk down the stairway backwards, you will become a pawn of the devil. Therefore, you would most likely be screwed either way. However, the current owners dismiss this as a "mere coincidence".

Two terrible events almost ripped down the Stairway to Heaven. One such event that occurred was planes fly overhead were shot down and went down like a lead zeppelin almost hitting the base of the stairway, by doing this it made the wall next the the stairway harder to read and creating more homonyms. The other event that occurred in June of 2005 was when the levee's began to break around the stairway. After which left many people devastated, in turn rumors have it that construction could start earlier than expected (2010).

Maet
05-10-2009, 10:55 PM
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/4/4d/NRV.png