Metal/Alternative song [CFC]gp4+5+MIDI


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tukk04
07-01-2009, 02:40 PM
No vocal track yet, but everything else is complete.
The drums might be changed eventually

Crit for Crit if you give me a link or attachment :cheers:

icronic
07-01-2009, 03:19 PM
Well, it's not even remotely Metal. Although I don't consider that a bad thing exactly.

I liked the intro, and the solo was decent. There were however a lot of off notes in the solo, for the most part they weren't too distracting because you usually ended up in the right place, but bar 12 was really quite off.

Bridge to verse was pretty standard sounding, not bad, but it doesn't really stand out either. If anything I would really build up the drums in this part, maybe some snare rolls added in and some fills and what not.

Verse is dead simple. It works, but it's really going to need great vocals if it's going to stand out.

Pre-chorus, I liked the arpeggios, actually this section was quite good.

Chorus. Not bad, but again pretty standard stuff. It'll really rely on good vocals to make it memorable. It wouldn't hurt to beef up the guitars and drums a little.

Bridge #2 Again I liked it.

Moving on to the solo. Aie... Not good :( Your song is in Em, and that solo was not.

Guitar break Pretty good, except the last note of bar 130 should be a C not a C# (unless there was a D chord somewhere near by... which there isn't)

The outro worked, and you get props for actually resolving your song! (which just about everyone forgets to do)

Overall it's a pretty simple song, but not a bad one, especially if you fix up the solo and some of the out of key notes. It'll really rely on what you can come up for on the vocal track.

My songs are linked in my sig if you want to C4C

tukk04
07-01-2009, 03:29 PM
icronic,
thanks a lot for the extensive critiqueing
any other suggestions for the solo or chorus?
and i like your reverse song, i'll comment on it there

Mr.Seven
07-01-2009, 04:05 PM
Crit as i listen:

i would have to agree. this is not a metal song. accoustic guitar = not metal :P

but hey. its not bad at all. i like it alot it is good.

some of the parts dont really mix:

i think the accoustic guitar between 73 and 88 is too harsh for this song. too much "twang" in the background...if that makes sense to you lol.

nothing else id really pick at. but it ain't bad my friend :)

Crit back? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20498803#post20498803

icronic
07-01-2009, 04:09 PM
Well the most important thing for soloing is you want all your phrases to end on a note from the chord that the rhythm is playing. While you should mostly stick to the Em, Em Pentatonic, and E blues scales you can technically throw any note you want into the mix so long as the note that follows it is from the chord you're playing over.

Your phrasing is pretty good, but you tend to start each bar off with a new phrase and new idea try starting your phrases in different places, and try having a phrases of different lengths, some 1 bar long some 2 some one and a half, or whatever. Just kinda look at as many peoples solos as you can and kind of copy the ones you like most.

For the chorus, I actually just noticed that the progression is pretty much identical to the verse. It actually works in this case because you're going from a clean guitar to an overdriven one, but in most cases you'd want to alter the progression somewhat.

Improving it really depends on what you're going to do with the vocals. You could alter the guitars rhythms a bit, you could add another guitar part (maybe some kind of repeating arpeggio licks) you could have a guitar echo the vocal melody, or even play a counter melody, you could add some kind of big riff. You could try some kind of descending bass line. You could add some quick double kicks to the drums to really emphasize certain beats.

i would have to agree. this is not a metal song. accoustic guitar = not metal :P

Opeth Begs to differ :) You can actually stay pretty metal with acoustic guitar if you do it right. It's really more about your tone center. If you go for something with more of a melodic minor sound, or your typical Phrygian or chromatic type stuff then you can get very metal with nothing but an acoustic.

HappyGilmore899
07-01-2009, 09:48 PM
Critiques-
.- The Intro solo at Bar 12 is rather rough as is most of the main Solo. Quite a few bad notes in there.

.- The Break at 122 seems a little awkward and/or too long.

.- While I like the high lead part of the chorus it just doesn't quite seem to fit this song in my opinion.


Liked-

.- Pre-Chorus at bars 131-138 leading into the last chorus is great.

.- Both lead-ins to verse's sound great.

Definately has an Opeth type feel to it which is always a plus. Overall both solo's could use quite a bit of work and are the main things holding this track back but overall it has quite a bit of potential.

CraZyB0y
07-02-2009, 06:34 AM
Critting as I listen....

Intro is nice, I like those chords, sounds very soft, and although I'm a Lamb of God type guy, I like soft every now and then.

Intro solo sounded kinda off in some places, but overall I like it as well.

In Bridge to Verse, I felt in bars 20 and 24 that the guitars harmonized very well, even in MIDI. Good job :) other than its somewhat blah, but with vocals over it its good just the same.

The Verse is kinda boring :( but I'm seeing now this isn't exactly Metal, so there would probably be vocals there, improving the sound of it greatly as well.

I LOVE THIS PRE-CHORUS. Very relaxing, this why I like soft music at all :)

Chorus is alright. It's not the greatest thing in the world, but its a solid progression and it works for what's it supposed to do.

I liked the first Bridge to Verse better, when both guitars were acoustic. This one seems to drone just a little in all that distortion, maybe have the Rhythm switch back to Acoustic? I dunno...

Verse again...

Yay, more Pre-Chorus :D

In this Chorus, I noticed the Lead start playing some 16ths half-way through. I like this, I think it improves the sound of Chorus quite a bit :D

Solo was good, I thought. I do wish the Rhythm had something different to play besides running through the Chorus progression again, though.

Guitar Break was very fitting, and I thought it was a very well written and smooth transition back into the Acoustic guitars.

Pre-Chorus, still awesome :p:

Last Chorus was solid, good.

Outro, at first I didn't like it, but the last two bars changed my mind. Very well done, sir. :golfclap:

Overall, I think... 7/10. Solid, but nothing too special and like I said at the beginning, I don't listen to lots of this type of music anyway. :)

Saf1
07-02-2009, 10:33 AM
Good:

Acoustic intro is great, really liked it. The way the drums come in is grand, too. They remain simple too, which is perfectly appropriate.

The best part of the song is the Pre-Chorus, I love that guitar.

Bad:

Apart from bar 12 which other users pointed out, bar 7 didn't work for me. Maybe it's the rhythm, maybe the notes.

I see what you tried to do in bar 90, use Grace Note instead.

Your Guitar Break would've been more effective if you stayed closer to the original acoustic stuff.

Maybe end the song on a slowly strummed chord, although your way works fine too.

Overall, I like it!

kaos572
07-10-2009, 03:25 PM
the intro is very good the leads are cool

the verse is good

the pre chorus should have the chords of the arpegio that its doing behind it you know?

the bridge is neat but not that great

the chorus is boring

the solo is good once it gets past the tremolo picking part its nice and simple and has emotion that fits into the song nicly

the end is alright but not great

overall 6.5/10

If you got time crit my work its in my signature

bac738
09-03-2009, 09:30 AM
Crit as i listen:

i would have to agree. this is not a metal song. accoustic guitar = not metal :P

but hey. its not bad at all. i like it alot it is good.

some of the parts dont really mix:

i think the accoustic guitar between 73 and 88 is too harsh for this song. too much "twang" in the background...if that makes sense to you lol.

nothing else id really pick at. but it ain't bad my friend :)

Crit back? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20498803#post20498803

metallica uses acoustic :D