Prog Concept Album Continued (GP4/5, midi) C4C


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Progbass92
07-02-2009, 06:36 PM
So here's the second full song of the album that I'm writing. It's much softer than the first being mostly made up of acoustic guitar parts. It's driven by the vocals so it can get repetitive without the vocal melody in there. I'll probably add it by tomorrow.

Feel free to tear it apart. I need full honesty, so no "I liked it. It reminds me of [insert prog band here]."

C4C
I'll attach the first tracks too for those who want to hear them.

Garb
07-03-2009, 03:49 AM
I
just
came.
Everywhere.

I listened to it three times to try to find something.
I can't.
I mean.. Track 2 was quiet in verse 2.
But other than that, this is flawless.

I wish people like you lived where I do.

I'm sorry I can't give you anymore input.

Care to check my song out?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20571789#post20571789

entity0009
07-03-2009, 08:07 PM
Hey, thanks for your very constructive crit, it really helped. I've already critted your first song so I'll focus on the 2nd.

As I listen: The intro is very nice, the bassline fits in well. The variations up till bar 42 were all great. The distortion riff was very good, original too. I was gonna say the verse 1 riff was too repetitive, but then the piano tinkles came along and silenced me.

The first bridge was short, sweet, and effective, great continuity. The chorus riff was also good, with a smooth transition back to the acoustic riff. Verse 3 might be a bit repetitive, unless of course there's gonna be vocals for the whole duration.

The continue verse after that sounded a bit strange, you were probably going for that effect, but I prefer it without the top note of the D A# D chords. Verse 4 was really interesting. It was in 6/4 but it didn't sound like it at all. The rising pitch was great, really added tension to the song. The guitar duet flowed nicely. The outro was a bit abrupt though, but that's just personal taste.

All in all, great stuff, I've rarely heard a song with so many time sigs flow so smoothly. It had great variation and some really original riffs. I really have nothing negative to say. Great job.

Saf1
07-03-2009, 10:10 PM
Wow. I don't think I've ever been more impressed by something made by just one person before. Ever.

The problem I'm having with this review is that there's just so MUCH to say, every section has it's own nuances and the way you manage to put all those ideas together...it's insane. I used to be the biggest proghead, so atleast I can understand and fully appreciate your concepts.

From keyboard solos that scream Rudess to that trippy-as 7/8 drum rhythm to those massive chords in the chorus that simply evoke images of thousands of winged demons rising into a stormy sky...there's so much it's just such a shame that I can't see all of it on my screen at once to truly grasp what was going on. Of course normally I wouldn't need the music but MIDI quality doesn't do this song justice either, no song really, haha.

I now see your point about dissonance, you're very good at manipulating what usually ends up as cacophony into something so ominous and intriguing. Also something that caught my attention was the intro acoustic guitar: I'm not too good on the really advanced theory but I know you basically start your phrase on a note that's not the tonic, gives me a feel that I started the song in the middle of it, epic.

For your Guitar Duel in CS2 I'd have them playing in different octaves, it literally sounds double tracked atm. Also the end was too abrupt for such a massive song; WHEN IN DOUBT, USE A FADE-OUT ;D or maybe some appropriate cadence. Also for CS1b I didn't particularly like the riff from 33 on...nothign wrong with it just that it didn't work for me the way everything else did...it's nitpicking really. Finally, CS1b and CS2 are both quite long, yet CS2 was more interesting in terms of variety and ideas - perhaps shorten CS1b slightly.

Overall it was stunning. I really was not expecting anything of this calibre on this forum at all, and I'm glad you crit'd my song so I got to hear this. Do your songs justice and put the three parts together as one, just so it all flows without interruption. Because for something this beautiful it deserves nothing less.

Progbass92
07-03-2009, 11:07 PM
Thanks for the crit. I like the way you described what you envisioned there. I have never been told how my songs evoke such imagination in anyone else. Unfortunately, that's not what the concept is about. I won't tell you now, but it's a lot more realistic than demons and wizards and a little bit closer to heart ;).

As for the ending, I'm gonna crossfade into the next track. I forgot to put in a marker to signify that, but the story will continue. I'll let you know when I've got new stuff up, although it won't be for awhile because I'm going overseas next week.

Slaytanic1993
07-04-2009, 09:17 AM
Thanks for the crit, my song is almost finished.

Also, I liked it. It reminds me of Rush and Opeth. :P

But, seriously, it's really damn good. The intro acoustics were nice, but it all came together really when the other guitars and the solo kicked in. The keyboards and the rhythm guitar were a nice addition. The layering is really nice in this song, brings each part of the song out, fleshes out standard parts into a really great piece.

Though, my only issues are the kind of useless bars 119-122, didn't really do much. When the bridge popped up, I was starting to get more interested. I really liked the use of a piano, sounded like it fit right in. Verse 4 was pretty cool as well, I liked the constant build up to the duet, which was pretty cool as well. Ended rather nicely, though I really wished you would have expanded on the clean guitar lead.

8/10, some twiddly I didn't like, but overall very good.

anacrucix
07-04-2009, 12:44 PM
I'm gonna preface it here by reminding you, these are all just opinions- and i'm trying to be pretty critical here, cause if i ask someone to criticise my stuff, i want them to be as honest as possible with me...

i really like it up until verse 3 ends, then you just lose me, like i don't mind dissonance, i listen to a lot of bands that use it very well, but there are a LOT of clashing notes in verse 4 which literally made me wince. (listening back if i take out track 2 it sounds fine, so maybe just change around some notes in there?)

I really liked the use of ostinatos in the other verses but it felt a bit formulaic a lot of the time, (e.g i'll repeat the same ostinato 3 times, then have something different for the last time round), and for me against the lack of implied chord changes in the bass that's what makes the verse sections a little bit "boring"- maybe have one of the guitars doing a counter melody instead of an ostinato, or developing a chord sequence which varies a bit more- the verses sometimes feel like 4 bars have been written, but you felt like you needed another 4 bars of verse and you copied and pasted.

i love the outro section and cant wait to hear the next track, my only other suggestion about this track would be perhaps a more flowing drumbeat in the 7/8 section at the start? (e.g keep the hihats going at constant quavers as opposed to the quaver quaver quaver semi rhythm that you have at the moment)

but yeah amazing track man, really enjoyed it- are you writing this for a band or solo project or what?

if you fancy criting some of my stuff that would be sweet- i dont have a thread in this bit but i've got a thread about my band in the "promote your band" thread, if you search "at sunrise", if you could give me some feedback on any of our tracks i would greatly appreciate it

xx matt

Progbass92
07-04-2009, 03:11 PM
Thanks guys I really appreciate the honesty. You pointed out some really key things so your tough crits were much appreciated.

I developed the little lead in the end a little more and I'm going to take a look at the dissonant parts of verse 4 and fix those sour notes.

As for the ostinatos, I did them on purpose pretty much because a lot of the focus is going to be on the vocal melody, which will have a lot of variation to it, so don't worry about the repetitiveness. I'll add in the melody and post the updates.

BotC
07-04-2009, 03:40 PM
As I listen:

This really wasn't the type of genre, so part of my ability to critique this well was held back because of that. I really liked, it sounded like Tool :)

(Just kidding, here's my REAL critique): I really did like it, regardless of the fact that it wasn't the type of music I'd normally listen to. This was one of the first person I'd seen on here where the music change from time signature to time signature and I wouldn't feel like i was left hanging, Like there should be some extra note that I know should be there, but, apparently the composer didn't feel the need to add.
As I'm listening to it right now though, the music is going into Verse 4 and really starting to dig it. The double bass pedal is really just providing me with something I can groove to and then with the Guitar Duet on top of that, I'm just really liking it.
Oh yeah, i forgot to mention in my sporadic commenting spree that I really loved the piano earlier on the song. Perfect notes, so much so that it almost brought a tear to my eye.

Good song.
C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1156071

littleguitar
07-05-2009, 06:13 AM
Thank you for your crit!

Ok so here we go:

The first part was to me fairly ok. Vocal melody is interesting (though for listening purposes I switched to a French Horn 'cause it's easier on my ears). If you have any lyrics written out, please post them as it would be easier to get a feeling for the music. This might also be just me but the song feels to light. If you could add a fretless bass in mix that would be absolutely fantastic. The guitar line in the beginning felt very bland until I used RSE just for fun (where it sounded great) Bars 43-48 are definitely my favourite, with the piano playing just the right chords.

Great work on the transition and the ability to not using clichés when the guitars enter. Nice touch also with the vibraphone and strings. Bar 22 is one of my favourite riffs in the whole song. All the instruments come together great there. Intentionally or not, the riff starting at 42 bears a striking resemblance to the verse riff from Dream Theaters "The Count of Tuscany". Also in bar 82 I noticed some "Bleed" riffing (especially at bar 94 with the quarter bends), though nicely covered by other instruments. Good keyboard solo which nice transitions into the guitar solo which is great, not overly flashy and stuff. The bass-keyboard unison is really interesting and sounds great.

Crit on part 2 will begin when I have more time.

Gulli05
07-05-2009, 05:02 PM
Let me start by saying: Most of the pieces I have heard by you are fantastic and well-written so I expect the same from these. Your Epic song is really great btw!! I loved it.

Concept Song 1, Part A: Nice intro, on the calmer side, this piece is definantly well-written and beautiful. Not much I can say - there isn't anything wrong with it.

Concept Song 1, Part B: Nice transistion between the too song, I think it is really cool. Like most of your songs it has a fun prog rhythm and sound to it. Definantly complex to play! I don't know how it sounds with vocals but I'd love to find out!
This song has cool chorus and cool solos. Again cool endind transistion! Really good!

Concept Song 2: More of the acoustic which is cool since you headed from a heavy song to more acoustic. The mix of Acoustic and Distortion gives the song a really cool sound. Again very cool prog sound in this.
Well-written and cool prog sound - I don't need to ask for more! Good work man!


All in All: I like your music a lot. You are one of these persons that I wait for more songs to come onto UG! I will be watching out for more song and I will be lookin' at em when they come here. Awesome songs.


What is the concept of the album btw?!

CheesyMozarella
07-06-2009, 08:41 PM
Thanks for the crit. :)

It's late, and I'm tired, so I'll only point out the things I don't like.

Hm..

The only thing I didn't like were bars 223 to 246. It's prabably meant to sound like that, but I'm not a big fan of that. They sound like they don't fit.

Can't really think of anything more. Also, the chorus reminds me of something off Watershed. :)

Ikary
08-02-2009, 04:21 AM
Holy ****!

I listened to two of the tracks you uploaded (files "1a" and "2"). I loved all of "1a" and I'm listening to 2 for the second time. I really never thought that something could sound that good on Guitar Pro, I hope you are able to record this stuff soon, it's amazing how the music is really complex playing with different time signatures all the time yet it doesn't sound strange to the ears at any point.

If I had to choose 1 part that I didn't like that much (of "2") would be the part between bars 43 to 54, but then the electric guitar merges with the acoustic backing REALLY beautifully so it didn't bother me the second time I listened to it. The piece doesn't become boring at any point in my opinion, even without vocals (I really hope the vocals are good enough for this piece). The lead guitar at 223 (verse 4) is excellent, and the variations must sound even better when the piece is complete and with vocals. The harmonized guitar work following is really impressive, though there are some notes that sound confusing to my ears from bars 248 to 252 (but it may be because of guitar pro). The melody on bars 253 and 254, however, is gorgeous, as well as the return to the chorus.

Man, finish this album and record it somewhere, your work is really the most impressive and inspiring thing I've listened to here. By the way, are you studying composition somewhere? It sounds like you really know what you're doing.

Would you mind giving me you opinion about this progressive metal piece: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1174146 ? I'd be really glad to hear what you think (and maybe give me some advices on how should I improve it, because you're definitely a more experienced composer than me). As well as you, I'd appreciate full honesty :) Btw, it's a recording but of the thing being played on guitar pro (like if you had the tab and played it with the RSEs). I'm also trying to decide if you should add vocals to it, more melodies played by instruments, or leave it like this.

Best of lucks, and if you would drop me a line when you compose more stuff I would definitely check it out :) . I'm going to listen to "1b" now.