Metalcore song (GP5)

[Harley Rowley]

I wrote both guitar parts and the bass part for this and my friend wrote the drum track. This is a redone version of a song I uploaded a while back so I took in what people have said and did my best to improve it, tell me what you think, how I could improve it, how amazingly wank you think it is, whatever floats your boat.
thanks in advance - Harley

[MattAnderson111]

This song is okay, but some parts just don't fit, like Bar 2, honestly, I'd get rid of that.

Bar 3 and 4 sound like one of the riffs from Through Struggle, by As I Lay Dying, it's like a carbon copy, except the last part, is a tad bit different.

Bar 69 to like 72, that progression doesn't fit, like at all, sorry, it just sounds terrible.

The 2 breakdowns were okay, nothing mindblowing, but could work well in a live setting.

Overall I'd give this a 5/10, sorry, I just find alot of it, kind of bad.

[justtryme]

eh its ok i guess. but like on bars 45-52 you should try adding some type of riff with a lead guitar instead of just doing the powerchords. it would make it sound a little better

[Harley Rowley]

thanks, i'll take what was said in and change bits