Pop-core song


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TooToughTrenton
07-12-2009, 02:50 AM
Hey guys. This is my first pop-core song and I need some feedback on it because I'm starting a pop-core band

One thing to note:

The song does get repetitive but I mean, come on, its partially pop.

Veil Of Osiris
07-12-2009, 04:10 AM
Thanks for the crit.
Not really much to comment on, really. Pretty good. Like you said, it's repetitive and if I were you that would be thing I would fix; I found myself skipping parts that I had already heard.
Maybe you could add some leads (besides just octaves)? I like the idea you're presenting (Pop+Core), but I think it needs to be a bit more interesting than the average pop song, and I think adding some melodic leads could really benefit it.
I think the vocals could really make this song awesome, but right now it's just a 7/10 IMO.

-Flooow
07-12-2009, 06:12 AM
totally agree with Veil of Osiris.
I think this song has got a lot of potential and creates just this atmosphere that a good
popcore song must have!

JesseBlanchard
07-12-2009, 07:14 AM
Lead riff sounds great. but the very intro sounds a little like the intro riff for 1985 by bowling for soup. Bar 11 verse reminded me of a day to remember. Most of this song does actually haha. I would put more definative leads in this song. Sounds like a pretty mad song though.

c4c?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20699873#post20699873

jbridge90
07-12-2009, 09:27 AM
As I'm listening, the first thing that popped into my head, was at bar 4, I could actually sing, "and music still on MTV", and it would match up with the octaves perfectly. I'm sure it wasn't a conscious thing, but I can definitely hear the Bowling for Soup in your intro. Besides that, not a bad song, except for the blast beat(?) from the 5th-8th measure kind of bugged me, but then again I'm not a huge fan of those to begin with. SO its not a bad song, just kind of simple, and yes repetitive, but hell like you said, its a pop song. Of course vocals could make this song really good.

So 7.5/10 for now

C4C?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20673195#post20673195

CarlosAlejandro
07-12-2009, 10:25 AM
Not sounds too bad so, its nice.

About the bar 4 i mean that the track 1 are so fast i guess that it should be more slow, for me. The bars 15 and 16 i think that it needs more speed, sounds bored here. About the 19 , its the chorus? I think so.. the 40 , this breakdown makes me remenber something like " Forever the sickeds kids x ] " But well, i can put you 8/10 .. The song is nice, and have potential but i guess that it needs some work

jimmyled
07-12-2009, 12:13 PM
To Pop for me. But I liked how you mixed elements of Metal with the Pop. Didn't really like it, but I liked the idea.
C4C? My songs (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1160749)

.Joker.
07-12-2009, 03:13 PM
It was cool, reminded me of A Day To Remember a bit.
The intro sounded like the intro to the Hannah Montana show though lol. I also agree that you should put some leads in...over top of the chorus, you could still have the octaves doing waht they're doing but add a catchy lead over top. Also in the chorus I dont really like the 3rd bar...it just sounds a bit off...maybe change the chord under the octave or somethin

andrew12398
07-12-2009, 03:34 PM
Reminds me of a really low tuned (and slow) Four Year Strong and a band my friend is in.

Try increasing the tempo to 145 and tell me what you think.

7/10 for now.

Gromlich
07-14-2009, 12:21 AM
Well kinda boring for me.. sorry this is really one of my favorite genres to tell you the truth, id say try adding a little more "core" if you know what I mean

Also with the breakdowns try a little more then just chugs, like maybe a pitch harmonic or a little lead part

just some ideas 6/10 IMO sorry

Paradox_Empire7
11-29-2009, 01:55 PM
The intro is the exact same thing as 1985 by bowling for soup. I don't really see the ''core'' in the song. Look at my PopCore Song, and Comment ! :)

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1225485&highlight=PopCore+Song