Prog/Tech? WIP C4C [GP5/4/MIDI]


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Niko_k
07-13-2009, 03:06 AM
This is a song that I have altered a lot and have focused on things working together more. I don't have any drums tabbed out but I hope you enjoy it. It's the 4th song on an upcoming album my band is producing but it's not quite done yet. Looking for advice on what to exclude and how everything sounds....I don't necessarily know how to define the genre I write so you guys can choose that for me :O

C4C on any genre etc.

-Flooow
07-13-2009, 08:11 AM
thnx for criticising song.
Well .. yeah I think Progressive is well-chosen.
Yet it reminds me a lot of Opeth. I'm not so familiar with this kinda music and so
i didn't really like it but that's just in general and has nothing to do with your song, cuz it is pretty amazing what you did with the guitars.
also liked the piano intro a lot.
wish i could do that ^^

Geiger89
07-13-2009, 09:05 AM
Intro - I like it but I think the piano should be all quarter notes not two eighth notes.

Bar 26 to 35 - I like this, but it's not very original, I've heard so many similar things on the progressive songs on the forum. I couldn't distinguish it from another prog writer.

Bar 36 to 65 - Awesome. Favourite part of the piece, it's different but prog at the same time.

Bar 72 - Didn't like this, this is too generic and doesn't sound good tbh.

Bar 78 to 89 - I swear I've heard this before, have you posted it perhaps as a WIP?

It's pretty good though.

End on the strongest part, good idea :D

Overall it was pretty good, but like I said, some parts were a bit generic so I'd add different parts in place of them.

Niko_k
07-13-2009, 09:14 AM
I was thinking about replacing bars 72-78 with something more mellow and less generic. I know that **** is stuck in E like no other but I'm just thinking of ways to make the song more diverse, and those 6 bars aren't doing it.

78-89 you've heard in another random WIP of mine that was a lot less musical.

I really wish you didn't say 26-35 wasn't very original xD. I've really never heard riffs like it and if I have their sub consciously playing in my mind. I thought making a separate bass melody separating the treble melody was magnificent but I guess I'm trying too hard haha.

CMon
07-14-2009, 06:32 AM
I think this could be very interesting once you've added percussion to it.

You should take a look at the transaction between bar 89 and 90. To me it seems very sudden and it doesn't quite work out for me.

Otherwise, everything has been stated. It's a decent song with sort of an orchestral structure.

PS: Would you mind if I took a shot at tabbing drums for this? I won't steal anything ;)

duncang
07-14-2009, 08:07 AM
Sort your time signatures out mate, a lot of the ones you've transcribed this in really don't fit the pulse and are suspiciously close to being 'Damn, look how prog I am!'. The ideas were all really cool, but drums are an absolute must otherwise you just get lost in a wash of riffs and scale runs, and I think when/if you start writing drums you'll see the problem with your superfluous time signature changes.

The bit starting at bar 40 has a really nice mood to it but do you think it would be more plausible to have one guitar playing the bass notes and one playing a lead, rather than having two playing the same thing with all these ringing notes and everything? It looks like it could be a nightmare to get sounding good in a real live situation.

To sum up, a lot of very good ideas but it needs a lot of cleaning up and desperately needs some drums :cheers:

(Return crit would be appreciated via the link in my sig)

Niko_k
07-14-2009, 01:20 PM
There is actually a hilarious reason to why the time sigs are like that. I originally tabbed a bunch of the riffs at a lower tempo, in 16ths. Fitting into bars of 11/8. I sped it up and knocked it down to 8ths so I split the time sig into two bars and that's why it's terribly unorganized.

With the bass/treble note seperation, that's kind of the style I was aiming for in this song, I don't have a problem playing the distorted chicking picking at 40 so I'll be OK live...

I really need some theory lessons though, I know absolutely 0 theory >.< I'm turning 18 soon damnit XD

Cmon you can write drums if you'd like, I can trust you wont steal anything.

duncang
07-14-2009, 01:57 PM
With the bass/treble note seperation, that's kind of the style I was aiming for in this song, I don't have a problem playing the distorted chicking picking at 40 so I'll be OK live...


Emphasis on the 'sounding good'.

ultimate-slash
07-14-2009, 02:33 PM
Well not much bad to say about it really, the only thing is that I don't like the transition to bar 72, it changes to dramatically too fast in my opinion, other than that I have not much else to say about it other than that it needs percussion and maybe some other stuff to fill it up a little here and there..

But overall I ****ing love this song :p:

Totally awesome dude :peace:


would you like to check out one of these two pieces for me?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1162720


Edit:


just saw what you said about almost being 18 and knowing nothing about theory..

well, I think this song pretty much proves you don't need the theory to make it sound good, 'cause you've got that part covered ;)

jimmyled
07-14-2009, 03:28 PM
Great intro, pity you didn't let it run on solo longer. The rest was pretty nice, but 30-35 was really good. 36-55 was really amazing, I liked the play with beats here, reminded me of a basist calle Avishai Cohen. 56-63 Wasn't as good, and in my opinion should be cut out. I didn't like the 64-65 transition, and in my opinion it should be changed. 66 was nice, although not as good as the rest of the song. 70 should be cut out too IMO, but I liked the part in 71-89 a lot. I think it should end there, or change. On the whole very nice. C4C (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1161997)