The Only Punx Biography on Punk Rock


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UG's #1 Douche
08-11-2009, 02:40 AM
Punk rock was based off the ideal that three guitar chords played in rapid succession would be nice. However, punk rock quickly surpassed expectations during the 80's, back when some would argue that Green Day was still... well, moderately decent, and before Luficer spawned the wave of late 90s and early 00's "punk rock" - which was not, in fact, punk rock, but a bunch of boys bitching about girls and singing like girls. The evolution of this genre has been short, rapid, and more painful to watch than Bush's 2000 presidential run. We examine the former here.

It is common knowledge that [Ashton Kutcher] is and always will be the king of punk.


Origin

It is widely known that the genre known as "Punk Rock" was undisputably invented by blink 182../Punk Metal began began rather dubiously; it was formed by the members of the 80's rock music who thought that Metallica were pussies and had too many clean guitar solos. Thankfully, teen boys armed with heavy distortion and strangely awkward voices came to the rescue. With the arise of Slipknot, whose origins were rooted in punk rock, and Flogging Molly - who were preoccupied with rock and were actually too busy to every get around to flogging Molly - punk rock was born. A fusion between metal, classical music, and an obsession with drugs and sex, punk rock appealed to a generation of children who, like the kids in The Breakfast Club, thought they were much more abused and unloved then they actually were. Simply put? Punk rock appealed to a generation of pre-emo pussies who liked to feel sorry for themselves. Not to say the music was bad - people simply avoided it because of the people who liked it. The act of listening to punk rock was similar to "riding" the "town bicycle" - you only do it in an ally or in his/her (well, okay, her) bedroom while the parents are away.

Punk Rockers

Most punk rockers claim to hate fashion while simultaneously dressing punk. They express there individuality by dressing alike with professionaly done mohawks. They also claim to hate all corporations while playing gibson guitars through line 6 distortion through marshall stacked amps, smoking weed and eating name brand potato chips while drinking soda. Most punk rockers are often found ranting about the problems about the world but never do anything about it because they never pursue an occupation and instead choose to spend infinite amounts of time on their hair as they believe this will "Force the establishment to take notice" rather than dismissing them as teenagers with too much time on their hands. Often they also talk about hating people but beg for your spare change.

The Legacy

Punk rock has effected thousands of.. you know, what, who the **** am I kidding? Only a few people in the entire world remember back when punk rock was actually good, and they only *remember* it as good; chances are that it SUCKED. So really, screw punk rock. Normal modern rock and metal should be enough. Till then...

RIP PUNKROCK

List of Punk Rock Musicians
blink 182

Lady Gaga

Green Day

The Offspring

Avril Lavigne

Good Charlotte

Linkin Park

sum41

Ashton Kutcher

daft punk

This Guy

Oscar Wilde

metallica

List of Poser Punk Rock Musicians

Bad Religion

NOFX

Pennywise

Crass

the Dead Kennedys

Blizzard Entertainment

you

The Misfits

The Bouncing Souls

The Clash

The Sex Pistols

Kim Jong Il

qvchater
08-11-2009, 02:50 AM
well even thoe people might flame you and you might not be to dead on with what you say I can safely say that you and me both have something in common between blink 182 and sum 41

RizzoWashburn
08-11-2009, 02:53 AM
k.







I lol'd at Oscar Wilde

EDIT: Oh, and Kim Jong Il

Vypor
08-11-2009, 02:57 AM
LOL this is retarted. Punk was undoubtly started by blink 182 right. I happen to be a fan, but find the idiocracy in that statment alone, let alone the rest of your statements.

I mean ashton kutcher are you serious??

Punk was started by ethier the sex pistols in the uk, or the velvet underground and the romones in NY.

Surely you dont think that these pop-punk bands "started" punk rock music??

Punk is about brotherhood, doing drugs, and not having to have much talent to have fun and make music.

RizzoWashburn
08-11-2009, 03:13 AM
LOL this is retarted. Punk was undoubtly started by blink 182 right. I happen to be a fan, but find the idiocracy in that statment alone, let alone the rest of your statements.

I mean ashton kutcher are you serious??

Punk was started by ethier the sex pistols in the uk, or the velvet underground and the romones in NY.

Surely you dont think that these pop-punk bands "started" punk rock music??

Punk is about brotherhood, doing drugs, and not having to have much talent to have fun and make music.
You smell liek lavender.

RiotSquad
08-11-2009, 03:28 AM
hes just trolling. fuck him.

axeslash
08-11-2009, 03:31 AM
Dear Science that was one of the worst trolls I've ever ****ing seen in my entire life.