Frozen Inside (metalcore) (2009)


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Tom Araya
10-12-2009, 08:52 AM
This is the new song I wrote for my band Behold I Rise. It's some kinda of metalcore with sad/depressive feeling :( Check it out and say what you think 'bout it.

C4C as always!

silhouettica
10-12-2009, 07:36 PM
Critting as I listen:

I don't think you needed to have the opening melody twice, before both guitars come in. It sounded good when that happened, and I especially enjoyed bars 14-17, especially the drums. Those were well done.

By Verse One however, I'm getting a little tired of that riff. It's good, but not that fantastic.

The pre-chorus sounded good, except for two things. 1, I think it could've used more bass. And 2, the B octave sounded off. Change it to an A#, and you'll be much better off.

The chorus was good, and I liked the harmonized guitars. The drums were also good- you really seem to have a knack for writing them.

Verse Two sounded fine. It's still a bit too repetitive, but theoretically, with vocals, that'll be fixed. Same applies to PC 2, and C2.

The bridge better have good vocals over it. I'm trying to imagine it as such, because without, it sounds completely empty, or at least, until the heavier fifth chords come in. That's a good breakdown-esque section, I enjoyed it. Vocals would make it fantastic. The solo was great. It had a totally evil sound to it. I really think it could've gone on longer, it was easily my favorite part so far.

Verse/Pre/Chorus 3 have same comments as earlier.

The Pre-Outro needs a guitar solo over it. Plain and simple. It's just empty without it, then you can go into the Outro. The Outro was nice, but it could've been better with a solo before it.


Overall, it's solid, and well constructed. That said, it's not particularly immensely interesting, and probably not something I'd buy unless the vocals were fantastic. Add a bit more.... dare I say "zazz", in accordance with the comments above.

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1213583

zezikaro
10-12-2009, 07:44 PM
An entire song based on 3 ideas, ingenius.

Oh wait.

Tom Araya
10-12-2009, 07:51 PM
Thanx for the crit, guys...