View Full Version : Progressive Metal(core?)
Veil Of Osiris
10-19-2009, 10:39 PM
I think I need to touch up the transitions a little bit in some places, but, other than that, I think I'm pretty close to being done with this one.
10-19-2009, 11:07 PM
The intro has kind of a cool, majestic Colors-like feel. The only thing that I didn't really like near the start was that 0-1 riff on the low C string, but the rhythm guitar for that sounded great.
The jazz break came out of nowhere, but it sounded amazing, and I liked how it smoothly it went back to the main riffs.
Overall, good job. The only thing I would want to improve about it is the pacing and transitions.
10-20-2009, 05:11 AM
Intro was very cool. I liked that main rhythm. I didn't like your transition though, was just like "boom" and not a good way :\
The new riff after the transition was also cool but i didn't like bar 31 at all. Just completely breaks the flow and doesn't sound that nice for me.
I liked everything from that breakdown (the C-C# hammer-ons) onwards until about bar 61. You used the drums well for your transitions imo.
I didn't like the lead you added at bar 63.
I think having a "final" bar for the breakdown after 82 (just like an open chord) and fading out into that new riff at 83 will sound better.
Bar 122: that B octave just doesn't fit imo.
Bars 133 - 134: :( Did not sound nice.
Bar 153 - I think an quick open and stop (like choke the chord) would sound better than holding for 2 bars.
You got some solid riffs in there. Like you said, just touch it up a bit but it is mostly transitions also like you said :)
10-20-2009, 07:36 AM
very nice intro, i love leads that ring out like that, gives it a real epic feel, next clean part was cool, liked the time sig change before throwing us straight into some heavy BOO style rif***e.
love the chug riff at 41, its always overdone, but i like that style of rif***e everytime i hear it :D
bar 59 on was sick too, nice chord usage and good lead again, and straight into some more kickass chugging.
the next clean part was sweet, but i hated the delay, itll sound fine on the recording probably but in GP it just sounded cluttered. the arps were nice too, but bars 103 & 105 sounded a bit off :confused:
then nothing to fault about the outro chugs again.
overall a very sick song man, just my type of music.
if you could check out my song that would be cool, some more prog/mathcore style stuff
10-20-2009, 09:43 AM
The intro until bar 18 is really awesome, and the next melody is pretty good. But I think it would have been better to make it a 4 part chord progression, as it just feels repetitive at the moment.
The transition into the next part of the song is not very good. If you build the chord progression so it feels like it is going to explode it would work better.
Next riff is awesome except for the 6/4 bar. That bar needs a more interesting rhythm, it is honestly a boring bar.
Overall I think you sohuld expand on this section as it could work really well being incorporated into different riffs.
I really like the next few sections. The chug stuff is cool, a bit generic, but still cool.
I do not like the octave bit. It was cool how you brought the main theme back, butthe octave below it sounds quite bad.
The next clean bit was cool, but it dragged on a bit.
Overall I think you should really have done a bit more with the first fast riffs as they were awesome. You kind of jsut threw them away. But it is a good song.
If you would liek to could you give my song a little listen, very different style. Much more just straight Progressive Metal,
10-21-2009, 12:36 PM
The intro makes me feel like if Colors was a nu-metal album. Which sounds strangely good. I loved it. Arpeggios still sounding good, and the lead.
The first heavy riff, I don't have much to say about. It sounds good. Very Born Of Osiris or Between The Buried And Me.
I don't like the 0-1-0-1-0-1-0-1, 4-5-4-5-4-5-4-5-4-5, section honestly.
I loved the next riff and then the slowed down riff.
This chord progression still sounds nu-metaly but I still really dig it.
Born Of Osiris style breakdown, I dig.
And the nu-metal sounding chord progression with chug under it is good too.
I don't like this clean section. It just kinda comes in in major out of nowhere. It's good ignoring what's around it. Between The Buried And Me has those kind of really forced sounding transitions to.
Sweeping is kinda meh. It doesn't need changed but doesn't stand out.
I really really don't like this octave-powerchord part at all.
The 0-1-0-1-0-1-0-1 thing actually sounded a lot better to me now coming in at the end of the song.
Overall the only thing I think really really needs fixed is the octave-powerchord part. I don't give number ratings because we all have biases. Crit mine?
10-21-2009, 06:31 PM
Dude this is sick. Strongly noticeable BOO influenced (if purposeful aha). Love it, nothing that I saw that needed major change. Some things I enjoyed more then others was: breakdowns were catchy, clean part at 84 was sweet, sweeps were epic and the major chords/different then just powechords were really nice :). 8.9/10
vBulletin v3.0.9, Copyright ©2000-2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.