Too Much Gigging?


PDA

View Full Version : Too Much Gigging?


ChemicalFire
12-16-2009, 07:23 PM
My first post here and I need help.

I'm in a band atm and for the most part I enjoy it. However the "leader" of the band, the guitarist seems to have a problem where wont ask me about anything or really tell me what's going on.

If I tell him I can't make a gig cuz of prior commitments, or more important things that come up afterwards, like exams, exam revision or other stuff I can't really miss for the sake of my education then he gets a major attitude problem, he refuses to take no for an answer. I do appreciate that he gets the gigs and we play, I don't know any other bands with the drive he has. But he's at Uni and pretty much does nothing but focus on the band, something I can't do.

I don't really wanna leave the band cuz I do enjoy it, but it's starting to take over my life and I don't really have any control.

What do I do?

SPBY
12-16-2009, 07:27 PM
tell him to chill out and make sure everyone can make it before he goes and makes plans

Jesus_Dean
12-16-2009, 07:29 PM
Music and education don't mix. You gotta pick. I picked education first and got back into music later. To each his own.

I'm not nearly the guitarist I could have been, but therefore I enjoy a good life now.

lucas1wj
12-16-2009, 07:30 PM
yea this is a problem a lot of bands have, have a meeting about it if he's looking to go 100% into the band and the rest of you guys are just doing it for fun/more casually than he might be better off in a more serious band

no.mop
12-16-2009, 07:42 PM
Music and education don't mix. You gotta pick. I picked education first and got back into music later. To each his own.

I'm not nearly the guitarist I could have been, but therefore I enjoy a good life now.

Decapitated went to school and toured during breaks (Christmas holidays, summer, etc.). Best of both :o

Either way, balance them out or go with education. It's almost certainly a better bet.

_-Joey-_
12-16-2009, 07:47 PM
Talk to him & just tell him pretty much what you've told us. Personally (because I know my life's going no where), I'd give 100% to a band I love, but if there was something more important then I'd still tell the rest of the band I can't make it, & if they're a reasonable band member, they'll accept it.

SlayingDragons
12-16-2009, 07:57 PM
Music and education don't mix. You gotta pick. I picked education first and got back into music later. To each his own.

I'm not nearly the guitarist I could have been, but therefore I enjoy a good life now.

Okay, 1.) I like your sig, and 2.) This is semi-true. If you focus all your time on education, then you won't have time for the band. If you focus all your time on the band, you won't have time for education. which brings us to this:

tell him to chill out and make sure everyone can make it before he goes and makes plans

If he did ask everyone if they could make it before he scheduled the gig, then you would be able to do school and the band, and would save a lot of confusion and stress. So thus, just talk to him.

:cheers:

MR. Goodcents
12-16-2009, 08:53 PM
You gotta know what your priorities are, and the band has to know what your priorities are. Obviously your guitarist's is the band and yours is school. You need to let the band know what days are good for you to practice and what days you are busy. Try and keep the same days open every week. It takes some work to balance school and a band. Some people can do it and others can't. It's a give and take thing though, sometimes you may have to sacrifice an hour or two of studying for practice, or sometimes you might have to cancel a gig because of a test.

ChemicalFire
12-17-2009, 04:41 AM
So thus, just talk to him.

I have done, but his excuse is that he cant go over every little detail wth the rest of the band. He dosn't seem to understand that other people don't look at life the same way. The drummer has already left for that reason. I would love to be able to focus on the music, but it's not really possible.

SomeoneYouKnew
12-17-2009, 07:07 AM
What do I do?Grow a pair.

he refuses to take no for an answer. That's his problem, not yours. If the answer you give is "no", stick to it. On the flip side, don't say no just cuz you're lazy. Save it for when there really is a conflict and your priorities lie elsewhere.

I don't really wanna leave the band cuz I do enjoy it, but it's starting to take over my life and I don't really have any control.Set priorities and live by them. If that's not acceptable to him, he'll have to be the one to kick you out.

If you're such a wimp that you can't say no and stick to it when the answer has to be no, then you probably shouldn't be around people like him.

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 07:41 AM
Make time for both.

I go to a school that dumps HUGE amounts of pressure on me but I still manage to practise ~3 hours everyday and i'm addicted to UG. Yes, I had to leave for around two months earlier this term just to keep on track at school but my grades are good and my musical life is also good. Sometimes you just have to plan better and accept that some nights you'll have to stay up all night to get work done. For instance, I've managed to get around 10 hours of sleep since sunday evening and, yes, i'm exhausted now and i'm going to snooze because it's the holidays. There is time to fit both, trust me.

EDIT:

ATTN life guru ^:

It's clearly not that simple. I have a hard time telling band members that I disagree with them in the first place and turning down a gig because of something else is obviously not going to be easy because the other members are so keen. You may think it's tough love but calling people wimps isn't the right way to go about it.

SomeoneYouKnew
12-17-2009, 10:22 AM
EDIT:

ATTN life guru ^:

It's clearly not that simple. I have a hard time telling band members that I disagree with them in the first place and turning down a gig because of something else is obviously not going to be easy because the other members are so keen. You may think it's tough love but calling people wimps isn't the right way to go about it.ATTN mister-wouldn't-know-good-advice-if-it-bit-him-squarely-on-the-arse:

It clearly IS that simple. If you argue with someone who "never takes no for an answer" and never stick to your guns even when it's important, YOU LOSE. This time, every time. Act like a wimp, get treated like a wimp. Act like a reasonable man who's willing to compromise, but NOT on important matters, and you treated like a man. This bandleader isn't ever gonna give any consideration to TS's situation unless TS stands up for himself when it counts. That's the core issue.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

ChemicalFire
12-17-2009, 10:35 AM
ATTN mister-wouldn't-know-good-advice-if-it-bit-him-squarely-on-the-arse:

It clearly IS that simple. If you argue with someone who "never takes no for an answer" and never stick to your guns even when it's important, YOU LOSE. This time, every time. Act like a wimp, get treated like a wimp. Act like a reasonable man who's willing to compromise, but NOT on important matters, and you treated like a man. This bandleader isn't ever gonna give any consideration to TS's situation unless TS stands up for himself when it counts. That's the core issue.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

It's not that i'm not willing to stand up for myself, I'm a stubborn person, but I don't wanna let the band as a whole down.

SomeoneYouKnew
12-17-2009, 10:45 AM
It's not that i'm not willing to stand up for myself, I'm a stubborn person, but I don't wanna let the band as a whole down.You aren't letting down the band as a whole. Your bandleader is. If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration when booking gigs, HE is the guy causing the problem, not you.

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 11:11 AM
ATTN mister-wouldn't-know-good-advice-if-it-bit-him-squarely-on-the-arse:

It clearly IS that simple. If you argue with someone who "never takes no for an answer" and never stick to your guns even when it's important, YOU LOSE. This time, every time. Act like a wimp, get treated like a wimp. Act like a reasonable man who's willing to compromise, but NOT on important matters, and you treated like a man. This bandleader isn't ever gonna give any consideration to TS's situation unless TS stands up for himself when it counts. That's the core issue.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

Hmm, well i'd be quite annoyed if people missed out on my practices and gigs because they had to do some homework. Fine, why doesn't he stand up for himself so he can get booted? Did you not think of that? If someone is unable to gig to the extent that the band would want to i'd kick them out. Is that being an arse or am I just expecting greater commitment. It's hardly difficult, believe me, I get HUGE amounts of work to do, I practise for hours every day (including bass) and manage to have enough free time for myself. Seriously, you have no concept of how people will react once they do this stuff. Do you expect said bandleader to just go "oh, well now that you've said you don't want to with balls i'll let you!"?

He might sure, but what if he doesn't.. and from what it seems this bandleader sounds like the kind of person who'd give him the boot. Yeah, he can stand up for himself a little bit more but there's always a way to fit practice and gigs in.

TS: If you've got so little time for band stuff why are you here? Don't you have work to do? How many hours do you get a day? I'll sleep around 6-8 on weekdays and 10-12 on weekends so that means I get around 16-18 hours of stuff to do in the day. That's surely enough for you TS.

NakedBassist
12-17-2009, 11:35 AM
You aren't letting down the band as a whole. Your bandleader is. If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration when booking gigs, HE is the guy causing the problem, not you.

it is easy to say things on an online forum, but RL is a little different.

Things aren't so cut and dry.

TS, what do the other people in band think? I know you've said the drummer quit, but presumably you found a replacement? If you're the only one who feels like that, maybe this ain't the band for you.

There are always other fish in the sea lol

SomeoneYouKnew
12-17-2009, 12:07 PM
Hmm, well i'd be quite annoyed if people missed out on my practices and gigs because they had to do some homework. 1 - READ the OP.
like exams, exam revision or other stuff I can't really miss for the sake of my education

2 - READ my posts.
If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration If the answer you give is "no", stick to it. On the flip side, don't say no just cuz you're lazy.

Save it for when there really is a conflict and your priorities lie elsewhere.

If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration when booking gigs, HE is the guy causing the problem, not you.

3 - STOP arguing about things that were NEVER said by either of us.
We aren't talking about just "doing homework", genius.
Exams and revision just prior to exams are serious business.



Fine, why doesn't he stand up for himself so he can get booted? Did you not think of that? If someone is unable to gig to the extent that the band would want to i'd kick them out.Being a pussy when it comes to dealing with a bandleader who won't have consideration for the needs of his band members will just lead to more problems. If the bandleader is that inflexible, the guy would be better off booted than compromising his education.



Is that being an arse or am I just expecting greater commitment. Arse. Definitely arse.

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 12:24 PM
^

Make your posts simpler, I can't quote them if you do it like that.

1, You don't HAVE to not revise. You're seriously underestimating this guy here. Do you think TS is revising fourteen hours everyday? No, I seriously doubt it. Even in exam time for me I can get in ~5 hours a week of band practice and achieve high results.

2, I'm not saying that he should absolutely definetly go with the band (READ MY POSTS), i'm saying that there's always more time than you think there is. Fine, say no to him but don't be so sure that he'll just back down. TS has given almost no information about himself. How many band opportunities do you think he has? Do the other band members agree with HIM? How can you call him a wimp when you know nothing about him. No, you can't.

3, they sure are and you can revise for many hours everyday and still have many hours left. It is possible to do many different things at once you know.

Ok then, TS: leave your band. It's all fine now, no more band problems.. you know.. seeing as how you don't have one.

4, How much of his story are you blindly believing. While I accept that the bandleader is pressuring him into playing gigs you're pretty quick to side with TS after just a few words. I've been in the same situation as the bandleader and it's a pain in the arse. The other guitarist (like TS) said that he couldn't practice for weeks leading up to the exams because he had to revise. Turns out it was a load of bollocks because he did just as well as I did and I didn't spend all day revising like he supposedly did. It turns out that he was mostly just playing CoD4 or messing around on facebook. So easy to twist your story so that you look like the victim.

Are you a good historian SYK? You seem to take everything that TS says as fact. You have to evaluate. I highly doubt that the bandleader would get so angry at TS for missing out on one or two gigs because he supposedly revises non-stop all day. I've made the mistake of being bossy to bandmates but I doubt i'd be far off if I said that TS doesn't understand how this guy feels about him. He hasn't mentioned any other band members either (who all seem able to gig).

SomeoneYouKnew
12-17-2009, 01:02 PM
Make your posts simpler, I can't quote them if you do it like that.Oh, that breaks my heart.

1, You don't HAVE to not revise.:haha

2, I'm not saying that he should absolutely definetly go with the band (READ MY POSTS),Then WHY are you arguing with me, when I tell him to set priorities and stand firm? Apparently you just wanna create arguments where there aren't any.

4, How much of his story are you blindly believing.You seem to take everything that TS says as fact.I tailored my advice according to what TS wrote.

I don't decide what may or may not be true based on a whim, the way YOU do. If TS misrepresents the facts, he'll have to be the one to decide what fits.

But the best part of my advice is that it's tempered. Even if the truth isn't exactly as TS portrayed it, HE can still benefit from my advice regardless of whatever facts he, and only he, knows.

Remember the part where I told him to not say no just as an excuse for being lazy? Remember the part where I told him to save it for when there really was a conflict and his priorities were elsewhere? That's me telling him that HE has to be the one evaluate and decide what's really important and what isn't.

He hasn't mentioned any other band members either (who all seem able to gig).I have done, but his excuse is that he cant go over every little detail wth the rest of the band. He dosn't seem to understand that other people don't look at life the same way. The drummer has already left for that reason. I would love to be able to focus on the music, but it's not really possible.... looks like a mention to me. :eek:


Stop blathering. I gave him good advice. If you don't like it, that's your problem.

ChemicalFire
12-17-2009, 01:17 PM
4, How much of his story are you blindly believing. While I accept that the bandleader is pressuring him into playing gigs you're pretty quick to side with TS after just a few words.

Thanks for your vote of confidence


I shall give you an example of something that happened in the past month you don't believe me, two months ago I got tickets to see Killswitch Engage on the Taste of Chaos tour, about 2 months later I get told by the guitarist casually "see you next Thursday for recording" and Kay whatever; he'd said we'd be recording early December but at no point was I given an exact date. Turns out the Thursday was the day of the gig, something I didn't link up, as I only knew the date of the gig and not the day of the gig.

I tell him this and he gets on my case about me not being committed to the band and how it was unfair on him for having to come from Uni only to not be recording. He also claimed that he had the studio booked for a month. Something I had to call him out on, cuz he had never asked me "Are you free on 3rd of December to record" because if he had booked the studio a month ago and asked I would of still said no.

After an argument culminating in me pointing this out, he starts being nice to me.

SomeoneYouKnew
12-17-2009, 01:34 PM
he'd said we'd be recording early December but at no point was I given an exact date. Turns out the Thursday was the day of the gig, something I didn't link up, as I only knew the date of the gig and not the day of the gig.I don't even know WHAT you said right there, but it does bring something else to mind.

Each one of you should have a day-planner. Especially the bandleader. He should have one just for band scheduling. When you have something you KNOW is gonna be non-negotiable,
1 - write it in your own day-planner and
2 - contact the bandleader and have him write it in the band day-planner.
3 - Then put an indicator in your own day-planner that the bandleader was notified.

This makes it very simple to keep track of prior commitments.

ChemicalFire
12-17-2009, 01:40 PM
I don't even know WHAT you said right there, but it does bring something else to mind.


Basically that I knew the date of the KsE gig was the 3rd of Dec, but I didn't link "next Thursday" with being the 3rd.

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 01:43 PM
What the hell? I had a bloody essay for you SYK until UG screwed up on me.

In short, stop being all high and mighty, you have no right to insult anyone etc. that's why I called you out. Your advice is fine.

^

It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that i've always learnt not to take everything at face value. You may not know that you are doing anything wrong or you may just not be doing anything wrong. Just think about it to yourself, you may realise, you may not.

You should really plan ahead TS... I mean, I know that the London Blind Guardian date in September next year is on a sunday so I know that i'm going to have to get all my work done before then. It's just basic planning man, perhaps not your fault but still..

Can I ask how close to the recording session that you told him? It's important...

It's HIS fault for booking a studio without asking you or other members if that was possible. I was bossy in my band but I ALWAYS was courteous to my bandmembers until 'the incident' which led to me aggressively lashing out at their lack of commitment and generally bullshit. Understand his point though, some people are emotionally unstable and can be like that. He was coming down from university to do it and maybe he was getting excited or looking forward to it. I was let down 40 minutes before band practice due to BOTH the guitarist and bassist bailing. I had to tell the drummer and singer to go home when they got to practice because they'd already left. It's one of those things..

(FROM YOUR POST) it looks like you're saying that him being nice to you was a bad thing.. he was being nice to you! Maybe he feels bad about arguing with you, or maybe he's mentally insane. I don't know for sure. Also man, come on, you talked about exams and that's just acceptable I guess but anyone would feel that there was not much commitment if you bailed for a gig. I mean, you guys seem pretty serious since you're recording so maybe he should expect as much from you.

EDIT:

Agreed with SYK above. It's not an acceptable excuse to bail because YOU didn't check the date. Maybe that's why he's miffed? I would be.

You don't NEED a band planner but having a good sense of time and being aware is vital. I have mental plans in my head, dates do nothing for me, think of them in days. For instance, Christmas is on the friday, not the 25th for me. It's a much better way of doing it.

ChemicalFire
12-17-2009, 01:46 PM
Can I ask how close to the recording session that you told him? It's important...


He first mentioned it the Sunday before, I realised I couldn't do it on the Monday or Tuesday.


Agreed with SYK above. It's not an acceptable excuse to bail because YOU didn't check the date. Maybe that's why he's miffed? I would be.



Maybe you missed part of what I said, even when he first booked the studio I had already got the tickets for the KsE concert, and he didn't ask me if I was free.

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 01:48 PM
He first mentioned it the Sunday before, I realised I couldn't do it on the Monday or Tuesday.

So when did you tell him?

I tend to expect (though I don't enforce it) notice at least a week before except for extreme circumstances (not like forgetting the day). I'm not defending him so much.. just pointing out that he may be more justified for getting angry then you think he is.

EDIT:

^

Again, not defending him exactly but that's not the point. The point is that you told him two days before recording. It's absolutely his fault that he hadn't told you but you shouldn't have given him a reason to get angry.

And he was being nice afterwards.. does he accept that it was his fault?

ChemicalFire
12-17-2009, 01:50 PM
So when did you tell him?

I tend to expect (though I don't enforce it) notice at least a week before except for extreme circumstances (not like forgetting the day). I'm not defending him so much.. just pointing out that he may be more justified for getting angry then you think he is.

Read the second part of my post.


He didn't ask if I was free when he first booked it, and if he had, I would of said I was busy, but he didn't ask.

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 01:51 PM
^ again not the point :lol:

Read my edits.

ChemicalFire
12-17-2009, 01:51 PM
Again, not defending him exactly but that's not the point. The point is that you told him two days before recording. It's absolutely his fault that he hadn't told you but you shouldn't have given him a reason to get angry.

And he was being nice afterwards.. does he accept that it was his fault?

I assume he accepted it, but he didn't go out of his way to say anything about it.

And he told me the day of recording with under a week to go before it... it wouldn't of been possible for me to give a weeks notice, as he only gave me 4 days notice in the first place.

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 02:19 PM
Look, i'm with YOU.

He was wrong to do what he did for sure but i'm just saying that you have to see it his way.

SomeoneYouKnew
12-17-2009, 02:23 PM
What the hell? I had a bloody essay for you SYK until UG screwed up on me.Thank you UG! Once again you've come through for us all.

In short, stop being all high and mighty, you have no right to insult anyone etc. that's why I called you out. Your advice is fine.Nah, you were just looking place to bicker about anything.

You're STILL doing it with TS. Shut up, already.






TS,
1 - Get day-planners.
2 - Use them
3 - No more schedule confusions, yeah?

isabiggles
12-17-2009, 02:36 PM
^

Some serious wit there.

Look, I don't like you at all, in fact quoting you kind of makes my fingers burn slightly at the tips but I don't argue for no reason. Sure, I argue too much but I do it for a reason. You get right off your high horse and take a trip down humility road before trying to give advice k?

EDIT:

I didn't even start with a bloody argument.

I was saying that I disagreed with you in a non-aggressive tone and YOU replied back. So go for it, be the bigger man and you shut up because otherwise you're just being very hypocritical.

EDIT again:

Doing it with TS?

Please, the guy asked for a reply and i'm just telling him. It's interactive. I say something to him, he replies etc. Jesus christ, you guys act like it's armageddon whenever someone argues on this site. You should know that it's perfectly normal, you know everything.

EDIT... again... again:

You call it bickering. Yes, it is when you decide to take it all personal and start dishing out the insults/nastiness.

This is debate, between me and TS, some people are capable of it you know. It's arguing a case, not bickering.

EDIT, last time I promise:

CAPITALISING your WORDS doesn't make your ARGUMENT any STRONGER...

OK?

osXtiger
12-17-2009, 07:24 PM
^

Some serious wit there.

Look, I don't like you at all, in fact quoting you kind of makes my fingers burn slightly at the tips but I don't argue for no reason. Sure, I argue too much but I do it for a reason. You get right off your high horse and take a trip down humility road before trying to give advice k?


SYK's attitude is a little brash, but it's straightforward and sound advice nonetheless. And I'm not saying that you don't give out sound advice or anything, but it sounds to me like you're just getting up his tailpipe because you don't like him, not because you think his advice is bad.

axemanchris
12-18-2009, 12:58 AM
With all the quoting and arguing, I've sort of lost track of what they're disagreeing on.

SYK - TS should stand up for himself
isabiggles - he might get kicked out if he causes trouble
SYK - set priorities and stand firm. pick your battles for important things, though.
isabiggles - there may be more to the story
SYK - get a day planner and use it

I mean, it sounds like a fair exchange when you look at the main ideas, but there seems to be some difficulty acknowledging the validity if each other's points. There seems to be a willingness to sacrifice politeness and being rational in favour of an otherwise sour relationship.

Worth discussing, but I'll lock it up if it degenerates to personal attacks.

CT

GrisKy
12-18-2009, 04:52 AM
Will everyone please STFU for two seconds so I can think?

ok, OP, your bandleader is a douche for springing things on you with little to no notice. you're alsoa douche for doing the same thing to him.

let's say this is a job, you're my employee at GrisKy's Crabshack, I tell you "hey, I need you to come in this weekend." you don't tell me you have a schedule conflict (and I'm a nice boss who'll work with you schedule wise), even though you have tickets to whatever for Saturday. Instead you say "sure, see you this weekend." I call you in on Saturday, but you tell me "what? I can't hear you, I'm at a concert... I'm free Sunday." but I already have the schedule covered for Sunday, and you're seen as unreliable in my eyes (if I don't just fire you).

Sure, as the boss I should've said "I need you to come in on Saturday" just like your bandleader should've given you a specific day and date, but as my employee, it's your responsibility to be on call when I say I need you to pick up a shift within a reasonable time frame and you agree to it.

If both of you had simply extended a little professional courtesy however, none of this would've been the case. If you bought the tickets well in advance of him scheduling studio time, it's YOUR responsibility to notify him. Likewise, he should've checked to see when you're available to record, but even if he had just said "some time in early December" that's still a narrow time frame. That's when you pipe up and say "hey, this is going down on [day], so let's make sure we don't have a conflict."

What I'm getting at is that neither of you are mind readers (obviously), and you BOTH need to work on your communication skills. and btw, KSE is not nearly as important nor valid an excuse as exams.

SomeoneYouKnew
12-18-2009, 06:03 AM
let's say this is a job, you're my employee at GrisKy's CrabshackDid you say Crabshack or Shrimp Shack?
Cuz if it's Shrimp Shack, I could definitely go for that.


http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080929/Fake-bands/That-Thing-Geech-Shrimp_l.jpg

isabiggles
12-18-2009, 09:10 AM
Gah, computer freeze.

Tiger: I dislike SYK, but I did genuinely believe that his advice was too quick. That's why, no other reason.

Chris: It's only my intention ever to provoke rational debate. Sure, I don't like him but i'm not the first to dish out insults (and if they are they're ridiculously sarcastic/in jest). I don't argue with him because I don't like him, hell I agree with him someone up the page. I just thought he was wrong and that he was being very rude to someone who hadn't fully explained the situation and that he jumped the gun. I was mostly just telling TS to further explain himself (we have it now) and telling SYK to let him explain himself before calling him a wimp etc. Whatever it is, I have better things to do than to bicker for no reason.

GrisKy: Yeah, nailed it.

GrisKy
12-18-2009, 09:49 AM
Did you say Crabshack or Shrimp Shack?
Cuz if it's Shrimp Shack, I could definitely go for that.


http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080929/Fake-bands/That-Thing-Geech-Shrimp_l.jpg

:haha: LMFAO!!

ChemicalFire
12-19-2009, 12:00 PM
What I'm getting at is that neither of you are mind readers (obviously), and you BOTH need to work on your communication skills. and btw, KSE is not nearly as important nor valid an excuse as exams.

But they were being supported by In Flames, which is who I went for :)

isabiggles
12-19-2009, 12:01 PM
But they were being supported by In Flames, which is who I went for :)

Still... :rolleyes:

dlguitarmaster7
12-19-2009, 12:07 PM
as I only knew the date of the gig and not the day of the gig.
how can you know the date but not the day? use a calendar. that was your fault

SomeoneYouKnew
12-19-2009, 01:55 PM
how can you know the date but not the day? use a calendar. that was your faultThis is true ^

SYK (referenced 11 times)I can't believe you went there again.

- Read that little fuss you made in post #31.
- Actually READ Chris's post #33.
- Read everything that happened after that.
- Figure out how completely out of line post #36 is.
- Consider yourself lucky I haven't reported you for it.
- Learn when to stop.

That's the short version. Trust me, you won't like the long version.




What I'm getting at is that neither of you are mind readers (obviously), and you BOTH need to work on your communication skills. and btw, KSE is not nearly as important nor valid an excuse as exams.But they were being supported by In Flames, which is who I went for :)Wow. This is amazing.

People are actually trying to help you here and you're focusing on all the wrong stuff. I'm gonna dismiss this as you being clever trying to lighten the mood. I really hope you realize that whomever the band was, going to a concert in no way compares to the importance of your exams. And more importantly, it's not more important than major band events.

It's a bit ironic that you extracted that quote from GrisKy's post, filtering the bulk of the rest out of it. The very first line of what you DID keep defines a core problem. You haven't here, or anywhere else in the thread replied to tell us what you plan to do to address this. You haven't even acknowledged this is as a problem.


You're transferring blame / making excuses, rather than looking at the reason these problems occur in the first place and finding ways to prevent them. This is irresponsible on your part. You said earlier "I don't wanna let the band as a whole down." By not doing YOUR part in preventing these schedule collisions from occurring, you are definitely letting down the band as a whole. I'm beginning to think you being in this band is a really bad idea. It might be a bad idea for you to be in any band at all.


So, what's it gonna be? Are you willing to tell us what steps YOU will take so your personal plans and band functions don't conflict again?

isabiggles
12-19-2009, 03:01 PM
Alright then.