Childish drummer


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Broken-pick
01-04-2010, 01:22 PM
God, why do all drummers have attitude problems.

So my drummer had an argument with one of our friends (Let's just call him B alright) about a year ago. Our bassist and B are good friends, and one day B wants to have a party so he asked our bassist to sorta like borrow his old house to hold the party. Drummer finds out about it, and he got upset about it. Drummer tells bassist to change the party venue otherwise he doesn't need to come to jam in drummer's house anymore. I told B to change his party venue and B was fine about changing his venue. Now, bassist texts drummer that the party has been changed but drummer refuses to reply bassist. Wtf? I've told our drummer that our bassist has nothing to do with his quarrel with B but he told me it's a long story and refuses to tell me about it. I don't wanna kick any bandmember out, and this scenario is really unnecessary and stupid. What the hell am I supposed to do? We're actually really good friends, the drummer, bassist and me. I've never thought we would actually come to a point where we would have to face any conflicts, especially a stupid one.

Lt.DanHasLegs
01-04-2010, 01:29 PM
God, why do all drummers have attitude problems.

So my drummer had an argument with one of our friends (Let's just call him B alright) about a year ago. Our bassist and B are good friends, and one day B wants to have a party so he asked our bassist to sorta like borrow his old house to hold the party. Drummer finds out about it, and he got upset about it. Drummer tells bassist to change the party venue otherwise he doesn't need to come to jam in drummer's house anymore. I told B to change his party venue and B was fine about changing his venue. Now, bassist texts drummer that the party has been changed but drummer refuses to reply bassist. Wtf? I've told our drummer that our bassist has nothing to do with his quarrel with B but he told me it's a long story and refuses to tell me about it. I don't wanna kick any bandmember out, and this scenario is really unnecessary and stupid. What the hell am I supposed to do? We're actually really good friends, the drummer, bassist and me. I've never thought we would actually come to a point where we would have to face any conflicts, especially a stupid one.
yeah man, I hate childish statements too. Your first statement has completely discredited you. Not many people will read your story. Instead you get a thread lecturing you on not being a douchenugget.

Tzeel
01-04-2010, 01:38 PM
yeah man, I hate childish statements too. Your first statement has completely discredited you. Not many people will read your story. Instead you get a thread lecturing you on not being a douchenugget.

Making a rhetoric exaggeration doesn't make you childish, taking one literally makes you a dumbass.

Stud_Muffin
01-04-2010, 01:40 PM
so let me get this straight...

your drummer and B had an argument a year ago
bassist and B are friends
B holds a party at bassists house
drummer gets pissed off about this
drummer refuses to text bassist and threatens to kick him out
B changes party venue
drummer still refuses to talk about it

id say its just a case of the drummer being angry at B, and over time, people can increase their annoyance for someone, i know, ist happened to me.

i had an argument a few years ago with my best friend, over a girl, and that argument lost me that friend, but i've recently started talking to him again, after he contacted me and apologised for it.

in those years i spent without talking, i built him up in my mind, to be some sort of user, who didnt care for his friends, and just cared about getting laid. seems he was the better man after all for breaking years of awkwardness to apologise to me.

in my opinion, it should blow over, if the drummer just faces up to the fact that he's overreacting, but if the problem between him and B was that bad, he's probably not gonna forget about it in a hurry. if he wants to be the better man, then he should put that aside and let you get on with it, after all, he doesnt have to even go to this party.

i would personally tell your drummer that its all sorted for the party to be changed, and that he should apologise to the bassist. after all, he's done nothing wrong. if he's got a problem with that, i'd just leave him to get over it, because if you're band is as close as you say, you'll make it through this petty situation.

hope that helped.

Black Star
01-04-2010, 01:43 PM
Giant wall of text is giant.

Anyways, I think your drummer is an idiot, but your bassist shouldn't appease him, either. Don't feed the trolls.

My suggestion? Tell the drummer to shut the Hell up over stupid shit and get on with life. Otherwise, he can find another band to play in. The bassist also needs to grow a backbone and stand up for himself.

Lt.DanHasLegs
01-04-2010, 01:43 PM
Making a rhetoric exaggeration doesn't make you childish, taking one literally makes you a dumbass.
So your saying that if you were a drummer, if someone started a story that way, you'd take the rest of the story seriously? And that first statement wouldn't have heavily influenced how the rest of the conversation tasted? bs. Obviously I know he knows not every drummer has a bad attitude. But if I knew a few really ghetto black kids at school, and I got on the internet and said. "God why are all black kids so damn obnoxious and stupid." I wouldn't be torn a new asshole? and wouldn't deserve it?

Tzeel
01-04-2010, 01:44 PM
Oh, and by the way, your drummer is also a dumbass, relationships between two people are not his business if they have nothing to do with him. Saying "you can't be his friend because i don't like him" is, well you know, something what dumbasses do.

Not to mention to be angry even when his demads ARE met, which shouldn't even have been met in the first place, because that makes the lot of you obedient to commands issued by a someone who sounds he is five years old. But alas, i understand we all have to compromise sometimes, as good musicians who you get along with are damn hard to find.

Black Star
01-04-2010, 01:44 PM
So your saying that if you were a drummer, if someone started a story that way, you'd take the rest of the story seriously? And that first statement wouldn't have heavily influenced how the rest of the conversation tasted? bs. Obviously I know he knows not every drummer has a bad attitude. But if I knew a few really ghetto black kids at school, and I got on the internet and said. "God why are all black kids so damn obnoxious and stupid." I wouldn't be torn a new asshole? and wouldn't deserve it?

+1

Tzeel
01-04-2010, 01:50 PM
So your saying that if you were a drummer, if someone started a story that way, you'd take the rest of the story seriously? And that first statement wouldn't have heavily influenced how the rest of the conversation tasted? bs. Obviously I know he knows not every drummer has a bad attitude. But if I knew a few really ghetto black kids at school, and I got on the internet and said. "God why are all black kids so damn obnoxious and stupid." I wouldn't be torn a new asshole? and wouldn't deserve it?

Bassists are stupid, guitarists are arrogant and annoying, keyboardists are pussies and drummers are ****ing pain to deal with. We all know stereotypes, they are worn out, and don't really hurt anyone. And we don't take them seriously because of that. If i say, "why are all women so damn bad drivers?" i hardly believe any woman will think anything of it, unless she is a bitch and dumb.

And to answer your question, no you wouldn't get torn a new asshole if you went to the internet and said that, you would get flamed. If you went to say that to those really ghetto black kids at your school, you would, and you would deserve it, for stupidity. It's the set and the setting.

Black Star
01-04-2010, 01:54 PM
Bassists are stupid, guitarists are arrogant and annoying, keyboardists are pussies and drummers are ****ing pain to deal with. We all know stereotypes, they are worn out, and don't really hurt anyone. And we don't take them seriously because of that. If i say, "why are all women so damn bad drivers?" i hardly believe any woman will think anything of it, unless she is a bitch and dumb.

And to answer your question, no you wouldn't get torn a new asshole if you went to the internet and said that, you would get flamed. If you went to say that to those really ghetto black kids at your school, you would, and you would deserve it, for stupidity. It's the set and the setting.

Set and setting don't effect the ignorance, disrespect, or pure childishness behind such generalizations. Besides, from my experience, the bassists I have played with have been smarter than the drummers, or even other guitarists.

Lt.DanHasLegs
01-04-2010, 01:58 PM
Bassists are stupid, guitarists are arrogant and annoying, keyboardists are pussies and drummers are ****ing pain to deal with. We all know stereotypes, they are worn out, and don't really hurt anyone. And we don't take them seriously because of that. If i say, "why are all women so damn bad drivers?" i hardly believe any woman will think anything of it, unless she is a bitch and dumb.

And to answer your question, no you wouldn't get torn a new asshole if you went to the internet and said that, you would get flamed. If you went to say that to those really ghetto black kids at your school, you would, and you would deserve it, for stupidity. It's the set and the setting.
bro, you're wrong. there's stereotypes then there's stupid. Stereotypes are only fair and harmless when acknowledged as stereotypes. Otherwise, we end up with KKK's and all kinds of ignorance. I'll be the first one to throw out racist and drummer jokes. But his statement in context with the story is offensive because it doesn't acknowledge it as a harmless stereotype. In my mind at least. It just sounds bad.

TS, Obviously I know you don't personally believe that every single person who drums has a bad attitude, I only brought this up cause it sounded bad. I still love you, but thats not a statement that you should make again. In my opinion.

Edit: ^Blackstar, you're a pretty swell guy

QuantumMechanix
01-04-2010, 02:04 PM
Confusing OP....

Let's put it this way. Just about all serious musicians have attitude problems of some sort. That's why it's so hard to find a good band. They're either douchebags or mediocre musicians (with some exceptions)

Tzeel
01-04-2010, 02:23 PM
bro, you're wrong. there's stereotypes then there's stupid. Stereotypes are only fair and harmless when acknowledged as stereotypes. Otherwise, we end up with KKK's and all kinds of ignorance. I'll be the first one to throw out racist and drummer jokes. But his statement in context with the story is offensive because it doesn't acknowledge it as a harmless stereotype. In my mind at least. It just sounds bad.


Well then, then we just have a different way of looking at things, i found the comment, and all comments like that something which don't really mean anything. The same as saying to a friend that "Womankind sucks" because you had an argument with your wife. Aggression towards individual targeted towards a group, as a mean of communication. Never meant to be taken seriously.

Anyway, this was a way too bad takeover, sorry for that, but i think we have this case closed anyway. I'm propably through at least.

Stud_Muffin
01-04-2010, 03:05 PM
So your saying that if you were a drummer, if someone started a story that way, you'd take the rest of the story seriously? And that first statement wouldn't have heavily influenced how the rest of the conversation tasted?

im a drummer, yet i tried to help...

stereotypes are, in the musical world, often there for a reason.

SomeoneYouKnew
01-05-2010, 12:27 AM
God, why do all drummers have attitude problems.They don't ALL have attitude problems. STFU.

So my drummer had an argument with one of our friends (Let's just call him B alright) about a year ago. Our bassist and B are good friends, and one day B wants to have a party so he asked our bassist to sorta like borrow his old house to hold the party. Drummer finds out about it, and he got upset about it. Drummer tells bassist to change the party venue otherwise he doesn't need to come to jam in drummer's house anymore. I told B to change his party venue and B was fine about changing his venue. Now, bassist texts drummer that the party has been changed but drummer refuses to reply bassist. Wtf? I've told our drummer that our bassist has nothing to do with his quarrel with B but he told me it's a long story and refuses to tell me about it. I don't wanna kick any bandmember out, and this scenario is really unnecessary and stupid. What the hell am I supposed to do? We're actually really good friends, the drummer, bassist and me. I've never thought we would actually come to a point where we would have to face any conflicts, especially a stupid one.Quite simple, really. Bassist is willing to work with drummer. Drummer is no longer willing to work with bassist. He's not even willing to discuss the issue. Drummer just painted himself out of a job.

Unless this is separate from the band and the drummer is just not replying to the personal issues (but still willing to work with the bassist in the band) In that case, it's not really your business.

Broken-pick
01-05-2010, 02:40 AM
C'mon guys, I know not all drummers are like that and it's just a stereotype. My brother plays drums too and he's nothing like that. I personally play a little drums too. If it pleases you, I would say guitarists are arrogant anyway and I'm a tone snob. I came her for help, and you people flame me just because of that silly quote? We all know these are just silly quotes that are everywhere these days. And the fact that my previous drummers had attitude problems reinforces that quote but at least deep down, I know not all drummers are like that. Do I need to put the =P smiley for you to take it lightly? I apologize if it offends you.

For those who have actually contributed, I appreciate your help.

Now back to the REAL question, what can I do to settle this problem? I love my band to death, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure it excels.

chokmool
01-05-2010, 05:06 AM
Thunderdome--2 men enter, 1 man leaves.

Or, you could see if it passes. Pressing it might make it worse. Apparently they don't want to tell you the long story. You can't fix anything if you don't know what's really wrong. Usually when people behave this way, there was a breech of trust of some kind by one or both parties. Possibly a girl(just a guess), or something like that.

In short, this may be a time you can't do anything, but hope they work it out between themselves. If they don't, and it gets worse, one will probably have to go.

SomeoneYouKnew
01-05-2010, 11:05 AM
C'mon guys, I know not all drummers are like that and it's just a stereotype. My brother plays drums too and he's nothing like that. I personally play a little drums too. If it pleases you, I would say guitarists are arrogant anyway and I'm a tone snob. I came her for help, and you people flame me just because of that silly quote? We all know these are just silly quotes that are everywhere these days. And the fact that my previous drummers had attitude problems reinforces that quote but at least deep down, I know not all drummers are like that. Do I need to put the =P smiley for you to take it lightly? I apologize if it offends you. Apologies are all well and good, but LEARN something here. Saying stupid shit like that partially derailed your thread. Expect the same in the future. Wanna waste time with people flaming you for stereotyping? Post it. Don't want the bother? Don't go there in the first place.

For those who have actually contributed, I appreciate your help.

Now back to the REAL question, what can I do to settle this problem? I love my band to death, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure it excels.Read my previous. If it's just personal and the drummer doesn't wanna talk about it, stay out of it. Not your business.

If it affects his participation in the band, it becomes your business. Either HE does his part in the band or he's gone. Simple as that. You can't "fix" unreasonable people. If he's being unreasonable and refuses to talk about it, HE is creating an impossible situation. Waste no time or effort on unsolvable problems. Get rid of the person who creates them.

Chetbango
01-24-2010, 04:32 AM
I would stay out of it. Your Drummer seems like he is being a bit of an prima donna, he has no legitimate beef here. If you get dragged into it, side with your bassist, for he has done nothing wrong. If you appease your drummer you would only make him more likely to continue acting like an 8 year old girl. But really it doesn't concern you. Just show up to practice, know your stuff and have fun. Encourage your band mates to do the same. If he shows this much drama over something so trivial, he doesn't seem to have the temperament for being in a band. Make it clear that bringing that sort of crap into your band is not tolerated.

Oh, this thread reminds me of something. What do you call a guy that hangs out with musicians?

Answer: A drummer.

I know, it is an old one, and totally a joke. A good drummer is one of the most important aspects of a band.

ChrisMill5
02-17-2010, 02:21 PM
yeah man, I hate childish statements too. Your first statement has completely discredited you. Not many people will read your story. Instead you get a thread lecturing you on not being a douchenugget.

I would have gone with douchenozzle, but nugget is also accurate.

Sound_Garden_X
02-17-2010, 02:39 PM
Wow, alright I guess i'll step in. It seems whatever happened with the drummer and B or whatever is personal, so stay away from that unless he says something. Call up your drummer and tell him to man up a talk with your bassists or you'll kick him out(I know you don't want to but you can't always get what yah want) If the two of them can't work things out you should go your own way and just move on.

Mr.Cuddles
02-17-2010, 07:47 PM
I don't think i want to help you after you insulted me.

but are you sure you aren't the one with an attitude problem? omG A PaRTy LetTS KiCK Out TeH DRumMer!

It's not a big deal, and if you get into a fight over it, I doubt you are capable of working in a band.

scguitarking927
02-17-2010, 08:25 PM
Making a rhetoric exaggeration doesn't make you childish, taking one literally makes you a dumbass.

I lol'd so hard :haha: