Sentenced (Death/Doom/Black Metal) [C4C]


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--ATREYUROCK--
04-30-2010, 11:45 AM
Hey. This is my first complete attempt at a death/doom song, very much in the style of Swallow The Sun and My Dying Bride. Although I started listening to a bit of Cradle Of Filth halfway through the writing process, and I think that's crept in there a little too.

It's seven and a half minutes long, so it might get a little repetitive in some places without vocals, but with vocals it should all be fine. I have lyrics and vocal patterns in my head (all growled/shrieked), so when I record it should sound good.

I tried to keep variation in the repeating parts by changing the drums, but I'm not a drummer so I'm not too sure how effective it is. I'm also only just beginning to experiment with synth sounds too, so sorry if any of that stuff sounds off.

Any and all comments would be welcome, but if you're going to criticise, make it constructive, please. I've only been writing for a few months, so I'm fully aware I have a lot to learn, and if you guys could help me with that it would be much appreciated.

Like it says in the title too, C4C. Just point me towards your song and I'll reply as soon as I can :)

pitobodies
04-30-2010, 11:53 AM
Sounds good to me. I would definitely like to hear a final version.

KevinFreund
04-30-2010, 02:39 PM
lol I just mix it. i can send it to you to see if you think the quality is improved. Cool track!

--ATREYUROCK--
04-30-2010, 02:45 PM
lol I just mix it. i can send it to you to see if you think the quality is improved. Cool track!
Yeah, send away. My mixing is a little weak, so :p:

Thanks as well, both of you.

KevinFreund
04-30-2010, 02:51 PM
what is your email? i'll send it now

--ATREYUROCK--
04-30-2010, 02:56 PM
Can't you just add it as an attachment to a post in this thread? :p:

KevinFreund
04-30-2010, 02:57 PM
how?? lol I'm a noob at this. its in mp3 form right now.

--ATREYUROCK--
04-30-2010, 03:00 PM
When you reply, instead of using the 'qick reply' box at the bottom hit the 'go advanced' button underneath it. Then a little under the area you write in it says 'add attachments'. Shouldn't be too difficult to figure out.

KevinFreund
04-30-2010, 03:14 PM
it just say uploading file for forever. sorry.

--ATREYUROCK--
04-30-2010, 03:18 PM
It's alright. If you're desperate, just email it to me then :p:

KevinFreund
04-30-2010, 03:19 PM
alright check that in about 5 minutes

--ATREYUROCK--
04-30-2010, 03:31 PM
Thanks a lot for that. It sounded very cool. I'll keep it in mind when I get around to recording it properly :)

KevinFreund
04-30-2010, 03:36 PM
no problem. Good luck!

xbitmetal
05-01-2010, 07:56 AM
Intresting intro. Sounded very raw. Didn't really contain nice ambience, but instead some vampireish feeling. I didn't personally like intro.
Chorus was intresting, I found it somehow dissonant. It includes very satanic feeling in it. Nice bass fills :).
Verse was kinda dark. Pretty normal black metal riff.
Pre-Chorus was disturbing.. Very dissonant, didn't fit in my opinion.
Breakdown was ok, a bit stupid in my opinion.
Bridge did it's work. It worked well as bridge to verse.
I think breakdown didn't fit at all. Also drumming at second bridge was terrible.
Synth breakdown.. Odd part. Nice outro and ending :). Crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1307631

Hammerzeit
05-01-2010, 05:35 PM
This was evil. You managed that well enough. It was really dark and brooding throughout and even the lead work in the breakdown seemed like someone crying for help.

The synth work needs a little refining IMO and I couldn't read your drums because tuxguitar turns them funny in Gp5 but I liked your variations in them. I imagine some vocals would bring new life (or death?) into this. For what it is it's not at all bad though