05-08-2010, 03:30 AM
tried to do somethng progressive...don't know if I nailed it....C4C
05-08-2010, 08:36 AM
Wow, it sounded really good!
05-08-2010, 10:40 AM
haha...thanks Elleid....but I think I need more than that....gimme something thats off or wrong with it...
05-08-2010, 11:16 PM
Well to be fair, it really does sound good :)
I'm not sure it's something I would call 'progressive' (if that's what you mean by 'nailing it'), but I definetly call it 'something enjoyable to listen to', which is the much more important category for me.
Clean intro was lovely. Maybe there's still room in there for a second guitar ? (could either be a doubling of the chordpicking in different voicings/harmonizations, or a melody line, or just atmospherics, etc.).
However the transition from clean to the distorted riff part was a bit underwhelming at first. I'm sure you can come up with something more interesting. This mere hitting of the chord there in bar 17 ff sounds rather lame, especially in such a crucial place between two other excellent parts. The full-band riffs that follow are really good and do increase the intensity nicely. I would've already settled into a steady groove for the bars 36-44, with the following pattern: 4 crashs per bar (dotted quarternotes), two snares per bar (on the second and fourth dotted quarternote), bassdrum either constant eightnotes throughout or some variety following the riff pattern. Drums from bar 44 onwards were basically fine, maybe diddled around a bit too much which can distract from the groove a little. Loved the lead from 61 onwards. Since the song doesn't have a solo (yet?) this standout spot makes for a good variation Deep riff in 74 is also appreciated, works nicely with the break. 94 felt like the "chorus"-part of the song, am I right to assume ?
Breakdown, hm, basic chugga fare. I guess vocals can make this more interesting, on its own it doesn't really excite me too much (maybe because I've grown more than accustomed to the basically halftime feel throughout the whole piece). How about finally changing the timesig by now ? A slightly more odder, non-standart breakdown would spice things up.
Also, a section that's really faster (not necessarily in bpm-speed, but uptempo-feel like a thrash eightnotes beat) will go a long way making the song more dynamic. Otherwise the drum-feel is basically same-ish throughout - It doesn't feel that bad yet because the song is not too long and doesn't overstay its welcome, but any more repeats and it might be a drag.
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