Sensory Overload - (TechDeath - WIP)


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JazzDeath
05-08-2010, 12:06 PM
Cacophonic technical death metal, in the likes of Gorod, Capharnaum, Martyr, Cynic, Death.

This is, hopefully, the final version now :P

C4C as always

File was updated 2:17 May 09 2010
File was updated again 6:51 May 12th 2010

JazzDeath
05-08-2010, 01:19 PM
Here are the lyrics, if anyone's interested in that.

SENSORY OVERLOAAAAAAAAAAAAD! (Bar 17)

(Bar 18-25: Next section varies between two vocalists, or two vocal styles;
The first being screamed, the second being growled in response )

Gather round and see, fire flashing right into my eyes
Lips curled within deceit, of templates once created
Masking out the thoughts of revenge that overtakes my self control
Mischievous actions now void of empathy

Purely destructive, is this behavior, unfit for a mind
That one would attribute, to beings rational
Overwrought by grief, Creating personal delusions...
Sensory overload becomes the consequence

You must realize that there are no more words to say
Given the impression that there was nothing left
To perceive further that these thoughts of ever lusting obsessions

The rest was nothing but a dream.

(This voice is stated more rather of factly than with emotion,
in contrast with the previous emotional sections, and to complement the guitar switching to clean tone.

Bar 26 (Clean Section)
The rest was nothing but a Dreaaaaaaaaam! (Yelled, but with fading sound in the recording;
dynamic is lower, creating a dreamy, far away, detached tone)

And I'm awakening from my sleep.
(Spoken matter of factly, as previously.)

The mind has won this game;
(this mind will never change)
The soul has lost its way
(This soul will never fade)
This body writhes in pain
(The body rides away)
And the heart has failed again
(That heart shall never speak of this)

(The brackets here do not implicitly demonstrate a change in vocal style;
They are meant to intrigue and perhaps imply that
There are different states of mind behind each statement
That one is an emotional reaction and the other a rational one
That the reactions are not from the same person
And that the reactions are towards several people
It is open to personal interpretation, and therefore should reflect an interior questioning in the vocal tone*)


(Harmony riff)

Of this Failure! (Typical 4 measure scream, a la Death)

(These next paragraphs follow the treble line accentuations on guitar for rhythmic phrasing, screamed in a direct, thrashy, accentuated fashion)

Overambition
Endless Obsessions
Centrifugal force was misplaced

Selfless investments
Within failed logic
The foundations now fall away

Now you realize
That your foolish pride
Brought you nothing more than decay

Ignoring the facts
That we've turned our backs
And you've all but wandered astray...

(BRidge before second section, bar 50)

You will not win this time...
There shall never be time...
It will all fade away...
You shall forget this day...

You shall not win my time!
There will be no next time..
You will all fade away...
And now to your dismay...

You shall never forget...
(Repeat with fadeout)


Why!


(This next part reflects intense emotional turmoil - the lyrics start off in a raspy voice and become more frantic and powerful as they go, really accentuating the words properly in harmony with the guitar voice)
Bar 75

My mind screams these restless
Thoughts invade me feeling
Crushed by envy now this
Hate consumes me which is

Tossing twisting turning writhing in my mind
Blackened unkempt fury wrecks havoc inside!

My core scream this vivid
Self-contempt that comes to
Overtake my being
Against my desires

Macochistic nihilistic points of view
Stabbing twisting pulling out the heart from you!

Now I strive to seek
This peace inside so far
Away from here this constant
State of anti-being

Confined to the prison of my flesh and blood
I must shield my soul from the oncoming flood

Crashing down, torrents of
Pure disdain, I cannot
Let this game continue
Lest should I submit to

Letting this affliction shatter my being
Forever a slave to what others are dreaming

"Remove myself from this world and disconnect this moment;
Reconnecting to the purpose, everything else fades away into shades of gray...
Simply non existant and void from the senses...

Embrace the overload
Focus on what matters most
Embrace the overload
Clearing your thoughts of this ghost
Embrace the overload
Focus on what matters, now...
Embracing Overlords...

andre27
05-08-2010, 01:48 PM
WOOW! Amazing mate, that was epic!

I'll leave some small comments, feel free to leave small comments on "Ants Under the Magnifying Glass" (:

- Overall, insane song. I don't tend to like death metal but this is GREAT.
- Bars 42-45: Get rid of those repeat lines. What really messes this part up is the drumming which seems to build up only to repeat itself.
- Bars 101-102, 111-114: Is this even playable? :D I mean the chords/runs fit perfectly but i feel sorry for the guitarist who has to make that stretch.
- Bars 139-: Love this part but the transition is WAY too fast, feels like a different song.

Overall 9/10, fix these thing and you've got a 10.

JazzDeath
05-08-2010, 01:52 PM
Oh shit, yeah - the section at 101-102 is supposed to be the same chord but split between both guitars, so I will fix that.

You're right about the repeat lines, I thought the same thing but didn'T change it yet, I'll work on that now.

As for bar 139 I know what you mean, I'll try to work out a different transition then.

Thanks for the comment man, I'll check your song.

ultrasonic
05-08-2010, 02:23 PM
I really liked it :D No real faults except for the ones that the person said before me :D Sort them out, and you have an amazing song on your hands :D ;) I especially agree about the drums repeating, it would be so much better if it didnt repeat :D ;) Id give it a 10/10 as it is :D ;)

Check my song out ? Called Los Desperados ;) Its in my sig :D

Thanks

Ultrasonic

JazzDeath
05-08-2010, 02:29 PM
Agree about the drums repeating... overall, throughout the whole song, or just for that particular section?

Thanks for the comment, I'll check it out.

ultrasonic
05-08-2010, 02:36 PM
Just the bit you had on repeat , Bar 42-45 :D I thought the drums were superb, its just youd need to add 4 bars of the same stuff before it with different drums and get rid of the repeats, or just have it playing once without the repeats :D ;)

Sakaluku
05-09-2010, 06:02 AM
Overall - Nicely done song, something that if it ever made famous would be a bitch to tab for someone :)

Intro - builds in nicely, gets the song going pretty fast, without it feeling like its breaking in.

Vocals part - I don't know this genre very well, but as a general rule for vocals, I think the guitar behind the vocal part shouldn't be that complicated (read - attention catching)
What I have in mind is, don't mini solo under the whole verse :P Although I might be completely wrong about this, It's just my opinion.

Clean Section - The transition to the clean section is like cut with an axe, yet it feels right. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe let Track 2 on Bar 30 ring longer.

Harmony riff - Like mentioned before, you're building the drums up twice so that repeat doesn't really go there well.

Nice transition again to Chord Mayhem.

Sweeping stuff and hammers - If you can pull off those stretches, go back to Mars xD

Transition to clean outro was really sudden and it felt like i was listening to a new song, didn't feel like it had much to do with the rest of the song

asator
05-09-2010, 06:11 AM
It's incoherant, chaotic, overly intricate, dissonant, jarring, and it's awesome.

Top quality noise, I love the intro, the clean section and that riff from bar 63 onwards in particular. The whole thing flows really well, despite being all over the place and having pretty abrupt transitions. It works. Really clever solo and outro too.

Good job, I love it and I'm not sure why.

8/10

As for C4C, if you really want, feel free to crit my novelty prog song that's floating about the first page of T&C. Thread's called "The most absurd thing you'll ever heard" or some shit. I refuse to put it in my sig because I'm reluctant enough to be associated with such musical drivel as it is :p:

JazzDeath
05-09-2010, 01:56 PM
Thanks for the comments boys, as to Sakulaku, actually genre or not this song is meant to reflect the title, as in an overload of the senses - the vocals are actually screameed and growled by two separate vocalists and they follow the guitar line, complimenting it rhythmically.

I updated the file with a couple changes, to the chord mayhem section and to the repeating bars which screwed up the drum buildup.

huevos
05-09-2010, 04:11 PM
I was gunna check out this song regardless of your crit. Every time I see a new JD piece, I will take a gander at it.

Pretty impressive song the whole way through, which is nothing new for you. :D

"Clean Section" was mad crazy. The harmony riff makes it sound like Gorod, which are now my favorite tech death band (aside from Ulcerate).

Transition at bar 58. I'm thinking that could be a good outro, since it was a bit jarring. The tempo change just really messed with me. Seeing as it's a work in progress, you probably already have something planned.
Listening to it again, this section isn't that bad. Just needs a little tightening. The real problem I have is how it leads into bar 62. Idk. I don't like it.

Chord mayhem at 97. Awesome groove. This really brought the song up even higher.

Faceless stylez works for what it is. Again, I see Gorod in the melody, here and there. It's pre-dominantly Faceless styled, hence the name.

142 works very well. It's BT-BAM like, but more purposeful, if that makes sense.
Ah, it's the 3rd time I've said it, but Gorod man, Gorod. Have you been listening to them recently?

Immense effort. I would like to see a finished copy of this.

|_JR_|
05-09-2010, 04:59 PM
F**k yeah JazzDeath, this is what I've come to know you for. Craploads of brutality served with elegance and style.

Starting right at the intro - those disharmonic let-ring distorted arpeggios aren't something we see everyday. It's almost too much at some times, especially bar 11, but it gives the feeling you were going for, that feeling of confusion that comes from just too much information at a time. The Vocals enter riff is brutal and addictive.

The clean section is a bit unexpected, like the song is just starting to buildup and suddenly it tones down again, and maybe some crossfading work would help this transition, but it's just that one second until the transition sinks in. After that, it's an awesome part. The mix of clean and palm-muted riff really works.

The harmony riff, although it's surprisingly "happy", also surprisingly works. Maybe the most normal thing about this song. The only thing I didn't like much, and I know it's crazy to tell this to you, was the drums... I'm not a big fan of the 36-40-36-40 pattern. Matter of taste only. (if it were me I'd have put a normal 4/4 drumming background with not a lot of snares. but it's your choice, of course).

The intro variation (very variated xD) that follows is also cool, especially the epic tempo change. Great transitioning both into the 7/8 riff and then into 6/8. Like a charm.

I think the solo needs some more volume to it, gets a little drowned in the rhythm. Epic sweeps though. :p: It's more of a lead riff than an actual solo maybe, it follows a harmonic ("chord") rather than a melodic line. But it fits great and that's what counts.

Very nice outro as well, but that transition... I'd probably have added some more bars of epic chordage over slow powerful drums (i.e. chorus xD), then having it ring out while the cleanage sets in, but you'd need more tracks for that and you wanna keep it record-friendly. Maybe a clean channel fading in and a distorted channel fading out for the same guitar?

The final advice is about the ending, once again it's a bit sudden in the F#maj7 chord finish. I think you need to do with this outro what I need to do with mine :p:

As is, 9/10. Great stuff, some edges to sharpen but you're still working on it, it'll probably be 9.99 (because perfection doesn't exist ;)) material when it's done. :)

guitar_jew
05-10-2010, 01:37 AM
This extremely technical brand of death metal usually looses something in the technicality. For example, I find it hard to get into most of Psycroptic's music, because only a few of the riffs are actually memorable. But here, all the extremely complicated riffs are actually contributing. The tempo change at bar 58 was great. Bar 98, the chords are interesting.

The song is aptly titled. The entire thing in its complexity does sound like a sensory overload, but not to the point of being unpleasant to listen to.

I'd have liked to have seen the intro riff repeated somewhere, but maybe that's just me.

The ending seemed kind of out of place. The chord just came out of nowhere, and it sounded more to me like it was going somewhere else, rather than finishing. It might be the use of the major 7 chord? It doesn't sound resolved.

That's all I got. :)

UntoExistence
05-10-2010, 11:30 AM
dammit jazzdeath when are you gonna record all these awesome songs so i don't have to listen to terrible midi versions of them?

JazzDeath
05-10-2010, 11:43 AM
There's a few variables I need to work out first -

I need money to record, And either -

Musicians who can play what I can't (guitar leads/bass)
Time to perform adequately on guitar/bass
Money to pay people to record those instruments for me

I can't imagine the time it would take me to learn all my songs on every single instrument, so until I find other people I doubt it'll be recorded soon. Technically I can go into my buddy's studio and note by note the guitars and bass but, it seems kind of like wasted money to me, and a product of impatience.

The last chord, I'm aware it's not a good ending - it's more like putting a cap on the piece until I find something better, it'S in no way the final product as an ending.

Thanks for the comment JR; As for the clean section coming in at the beggining, what keeps the aggression from the previous part will be the vocals; considering it'll be a held out scream on top of a sudden clean guitar part, I think it should achieve the effect you're talking about - unfortunately you can't relay that into guitar pro ;).

As for the outro my solution is the second, as you said, holding out the final chord on one guitar, and the rest fades in slowly.

JazzDeath
05-12-2010, 06:53 PM
Final version is up now, thanks to everyone for their comments and their help on this one. :D

Nemesis@Germany
05-17-2010, 03:59 PM
i've to postpone the crit again, pretty busy with my band atm.
sry for that..
well, i had a listen through and for now i can say it's pretty impressive.

i'll give you a detailed (or semi-detailed) crit later

Kirborg
05-17-2010, 04:41 PM
insanely awesome, but extremely hard to play. I would love hear it recorded, but i'm questioning whether it's really realistic to expect someone to pull this off.

b4ssfr34k
05-18-2010, 10:15 AM
I really enjoyed the clean section, really. I thought it sounded very noodly overall, and there's nothing wrong with it. I can really dig it.

One problem I see, is the fact that you have some pretty unrealistic double stops in the bass part. Now, if you're writing for two bass players on one part, I can see that working, but no one bass player could just throw out those multi note runs at the speed it's written.

That's just an observation I'm making, not saying it's bad, just that one person can't do it, physically, lol

JazzDeath
05-18-2010, 12:11 PM
You mean the octaves? I often write bass parts that use an Octaver.

b4ssfr34k
05-18-2010, 01:37 PM
OH! alright then, my misunderstanding

piratemetalhead
05-24-2010, 10:00 PM
I thought a Psycroptic vocals with Meshuggah-liike screams would work well.

Anyways, very fine-tuned song; everything sounds in it's place and the weirder-sounding riffs provide a very unique atmosphere, almost as if the listener is "waking", or "falling". This piece lives up to it's title, and sounds almost overwhelming at times (in a good way).

Very artistic, super-technical, and almost symphonic death metal. There's a very strong, grounded sense of rhythm throughout, and the imagary the music evokes is immense. Great job!

Life Is Brutal
08-03-2010, 07:05 PM
Fricken-A. Don't you write anything possible? :p:

I was like "Is it close to over?"

Checked.

Not even halfway.

But I don't have any problem with it. Great song, as expected.

And, if I were to learn all this, and get the playing up to the quality it is on the GP, would you let me help record it? Likewise with all your songs? Promise me that, and Ill start on all your works immediately.

I swear, you pick the most appropriate titles.

JazzDeath
08-04-2010, 04:58 AM
Hmm.

You know your offer is very interesting... although I'm not sure how we would go around to recording the parts considering where I live (Montreal, Canada).

I mean if you can find a way that we could do the recording in a professional sounding manner (I'm a nazi for perfection, just so you know... :P) I'd be up for it for sure - personally I have someone who's already willing to help me record my songs note by note and with a drum machine so that I can have recordings I can show to potential musicians, to give a better idea than what Guitar Pro sounds like; if you offer to learn the songs though I may reconsider this and start learning the drum parts, and I'm thinking of maybe getting around to hiring Forest (previously from Augury, now in Behind Creation) to play the bass parts once I have a guitarist and know the parts on drums.

I'd also need a time frame for all of this if you're seriously considering this, but I urge you to think about it a bit; I don't like to waste time, mine or other people's, in musical projects, if it'S not a serious endeavor.

Also on another note, you say "get the playing up to the quality on GP" ;

I don'T want it to sound like guitar pro; there are clean parts in some of my songs and they require to be played with feeling and dynamic, not just with robotic precision. I listened to some of your stuff on your profile though and I think you could pull it off; your amorphous shadows piece is really nice, I dig it.

Anyway if you want we can discuss it on msn or you can send me an email at olivierneron@videotron.ca.

Cheers dude, glad you like the music.