Untitled song [post-hc/screamo] UNFINISHED [C4C]


PDA

View Full Version : Untitled song [post-hc/screamo] UNFINISHED [C4C]


RafaelVeiga
05-13-2010, 07:23 PM
I am working on this song but it's still incomplete.
I'm looking for some construtive critics

c4c

YesterdaysToday
05-13-2010, 10:56 PM
Here we go...
I like the intro, but measure 4 guitar 2's chord in my opinion should be changed into a D5 or F5. (on the 12th or 13th fret)
When Guitar three comes in it just feels too repetitive, try changing up the drums or make guitars one and three background tracks.
I really love measures 9-16 but it feels like there's no transition.

Ok, next section...
Im sorry, but I hate 17-20. Theres no bass notes to back anything up and it just sound awkard. Try throwing in a bass to this song to give it more depth.
I like 21-22... but Marcador one needs a lead on it or else it sounds repetitive from the last riff and kind of boring.
Measure 27 should be removed entirely, as it doesn't nothing but throw off the balance of the song.

I love the orchestral part but yet again, there's not enough bass...

WTF?!?!?!? Measure 42-43??? Why are they blank...?
I like the solo/bridge/outro or whatever you wanna call it but it needs a harmony and drums to make it feel complete.



Overall... Good song... Kind of repetitive, 7-7.5/10


Crit the one in my sig?

ninja.kitty
05-14-2010, 12:45 AM
Yeah! Right up my alley :P

1-8: The riff works i guess, but i think its kinda so so. needs a little extra flair to it imo. The harmony and breakdown rhythm definitely helped it though
9-16: I like this. Im imagining the lead guitar with alot of reverb, and i think i sounds good. I think there needs to be a fill on measure 16 for the drums or something, right now its holding it back.
17-20: The breakdown sounds kinda awkward, like it plays on the 5 too long...
21-26: For some reason it works here though... However the drums need some freakin POWER! Or something. Have that part smash my face in! and i know you didnt mean it, but the sleighbell at the end of measure 26 made me laugh though :P
27: Scrap it. Just go from the breakdown to the original riff!
34-37: Love the orchestral stuff you added.
44-47: Probably not apart of the song, but you should work on it. I dug it.

All in all this was pretty good, but there is definitely room for improvement. Add some bass so you get a more full, powerful sound, and you should also work on the drums too. Good job though!

crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312615

RafaelVeiga
05-14-2010, 01:55 PM
Thank you all, your critics were pretty helpfull

That sleighbell on the measure 26 was unintentionally, but it's ok :P

44-47 was kind of experimentation, just put there for using it later