05-17-2010, 02:26 PM
You know the drill, vote for the best piece etc etc.
Crits are always appreciated too
good luck to everyone :cheers:
05-18-2010, 11:01 AM
well, this is a huge piece. It sounded awesome to me, but that's because of the amount of work in there.
I wont vote for it though, because I'd rather like to see that amount of work used to make a number of straight rock/metal songs.
Those pieces are always something special, you kinda feel obligated to vote for them because of the amount of work that's in there.
That said, it was qutie enjoyable but I did notice that a lot of times, you have 3 "normal" bars and then 1 bar that sounds off to make for a good transition. I don't really know what to do with this statement myself, but if that becomes quite a habit of yours it's better to be aware of it. Isn't neccessariyl a bad thing, though.
Second point, that also a lot of other people are pointing out in those pieces, is that nothing gets stuck in your head. I can only remember 1 single riff outof those 8 minutes. I dont even know how anymore how that song started.
P.S. I didn't like the last 3 notes in the guitar. Sound forced/thrown in for good measure only. :shrug:
I like the way you've wrote the drums in the intro. The transition to the actualy song was kinda dull though, there's a lot of space to write an awesome drum entrance. I can tell you later what I had in mind anyway.
Chord changes in 3 are cool, but at around bar 57 it was a bit boring, dragged on too long for me
4 was a nice change but nothing too special
I didn't like 6 really, the change was a good idea but the riff should pack a lot more punch. It also relied on a pretty generic chord progression/theme/base/whatever that you tried to cover by those 2 dissonant chords, at least that's the impression I got. Those chords aren't working that well in the 6.2 part, too.
Anyway, coming to the point: The structure of the piece is quite simple, maybe a bit too simple. In contrast to JR's piece it sounds "clean" to me and well ordered, but also a bit cold at the same time.
I'd definitely put more variation in there, you seem to rely on well thought out melodies and awesome drum work too much.
What i'm trying to say is, if you work with the bass a bit more your songs are going to be epic.
All in all, I still enjoyed the listen, drums are top notch and add a lot to the piece. Again, no solo in there though. I'd say 9/10
basically the same as for JR's piece.
Your signature rapid changing of full slightly odd/dissonant chords toegether with techdeath like drums.
I just can't enjoy it :shrug: Sometime it sounds cool, sometimes not.
My favorite part here was the outro, mainly because of the drums.
Your song reminded me of some video game music. The riffs are simple and the keys make it sound too cluttered.
There's a lot of dissonance that doesn't sound that well. Instead of playing full chord with the keys in the background, try to pick one or two notes that achive the same feeling.
Take the part starting at around bar 71.
I listened to ewach tryk seperately, starting with the bass.
The bass itself makes for a funky bassline with the right drums behind that.
The rhytm in track 5 is cool and although I don't like the second chord (just personal taste), it still is a solid riff in itself. Really adds something to the bass.
If you start the drums at bar 71, the first 4 bars make for an really awesome drum intro. I don't like the style of your drumbeat in that riff, though. A normal pattern with snares on beats 2 and 4 will sound just wine.
So, these 3 tracks sound pretty awesome to me, a decent riff with a nice chord progressions and cool rhythm, something that should apeal to most listeners.
If you add the keys to that, it automatically sounds too cluttered. Having a constant sound in the background, automatically erases the funkyness of bass and drums.
On top of that, it's hard to make out the chord changes you have in there, so if you don't pay a lot of attention to it, it sounds like it doesn't even have chord changes in there at all.
Now coming to the main guitar, track 3. absolutely horrible. The riff itself doesn't even sound that good, mainly because of the F# and the E you have at teh end of each seckond bar. I see the idea behind that note choice, but, it just sounds "bad". Seriously, I can't find words to describe it, it's just a riff that doesn't work that well.
If you turn F# + E into G + F# it sounds better and still keeps that idea. G + A also sounds good to me.
But that above only applies to teh riff itself. Together with the other instruments the riff just soudns completely odd and dissonant and out of key. Just leave it out of there.
I still see what you may have wanted to achieve with the riff in there, but just leave it out and turn that section into something funky.
I'll come back later to review your piece but I gotta go now.
05-20-2010, 05:11 PM
alright, now the crit for The Arsis
Sections A was kinda cool but the one long chord dragged on too long, you'd need a few more chord changes to make it interesting.
and that basically applies to teh rest of the song too. I didn't really see any point in repeating sections A and B.
Section C picked it up nicely though. Everything in tat song sounds good, but it's just too empty, nothing really develops.
That was what I thought up until bar 122. When you brought back section A again, everything was falling into place, suddenly.
The solo had some cool licks, but it wasn't too appealing to me. It seemd that a single note in there had no realy meaning to it, it was missing a feel. It sounded somewhat interchangeable to me.
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