Revenge (thrash/sludge metal GP4+5)
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05-18-2010, 05:08 AM
Hi guys, its been a while since I was on this section of the forums, just looking for some input :D
C4C of course
05-18-2010, 04:52 PM
The intro reminded a good bit of Agalloch and Warning. If it was recorded live, it would be a crushing riff.
Bassline transition was good, if not a bit sudden. I don't really see what you can with it here, so I would disregard that.
Thrashy verse riffs are tasty. They have a good level of intensity. I do prefer the more groovier part of these riffs.
Chorus just does not work. It's a bit too slow, and doesn't really do anything for me. Nor does the chorus with the leads in it. Sorry it was the interlude section.
But the chorus/interlude/bridge does not affect me at all. I think if you referenced the intro riff in these sections it would be a lot stronger.
I could see that with thrash that you don't wanna go too complex, as you lose a lot of the momentum in the confusion. This song is somewhat simple, but truly effective in the thrash game. I would say that you should strengthen the Chorus section. Something doomish would help. Either that, or make it groovy.
05-18-2010, 10:05 PM
Gotta give a giant +1 to everything heuvos said. Spot-on.
05-22-2010, 10:05 PM
Gotta give a giant +1 to everything heuvos said. Spot-on.same
seems like a waste of a post
05-23-2010, 03:08 AM
do you guys think it would help if I added a lead line to the chorus? Keeping in mind it would have vocals too. Or do you all think I should scrap the chorus I have completely?
05-23-2010, 03:57 AM
Definitely felt more metalcore than thrash to me. Just kind of upbeat. Song is still -okay-. And it's always okay to attempt a bass solo but I wasn't feeling it to be honest. That or the guitar solo.
05-23-2010, 04:03 AM
I appreciate the input. :)
And, yeah, it's obvious in this song that I play bass :p:
05-23-2010, 12:36 PM
simple but really good intro, you kinda had a good idea for some build up to kick in to the hard part but i think you messed it
the main riff sounds OK anyways
the chorus kinda belongs to a punk song
05-23-2010, 06:12 PM
do you guys think it would help if I added a lead line to the chorus? Keeping in mind it would have vocals too. Or do you all think I should scrap the chorus I have completely?my idea of a "chorus" involves something that the audience can enjoy screaming along to, so i try to write guitar parts with a lot of long notes/chords that allow space for the (hypothetical) vocals to take over and command attention.
this article (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/lessons/songwriting__lyrics/writing_good_metalcore_riffs.html) helped me come up with a chorus riff for a sludge/thrash song i wrote recently, see if it gives you any ideas
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