Cardiopetrification (Djenty-kinda-thing) [TG, MIDI] (C4C)


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Ginsu
09-16-2010, 04:45 PM
This is a (slightly-deathcore-influenced) Djent song I wrote for my band...

EDIT: So...I guess this isn't Djent at all. But it's metal of some kind. I have no idea WHAT kind, but...yeah, whatever. It's metal, we'll leave it at that.

EDIT AGAIN: Ehh, well, if it's not djent....I'm gonna go rewrite it. This file will be taken down.

Drmmrboi180
09-16-2010, 04:57 PM
Awful

Ginsu
09-16-2010, 05:07 PM
Awful
Well what makes it awful? I'd like to know, so perhaps I can improve it. EDIT: (Though after looking at your profile, you don't even listen to metal, so nevermind.)

frankibo
09-16-2010, 05:38 PM
Assume by djent you mean la Periphery, Mesuggah, Vildjharta, Monuments, Fellsilent etc then this is NOTHING LIKE DJENT.

Ginsu
09-16-2010, 05:39 PM
Assume by djent you mean la Periphery, Mesuggah, Vildjharta, Monuments, Fellsilent etc then this is NOTHING LIKE DJENT.
Um...Then what is it? I didn't really know how to classify it.

DiminishedFifth
09-16-2010, 07:34 PM
This is a (slightly-deathcore-influenced) Djent song I wrote for my band...

EDIT: So...I guess this isn't Djent at all. But it's metal of some kind. I have no idea WHAT kind, but...yeah, whatever. It's metal, we'll leave it at that.

EDIT AGAIN: Ehh, well, if it's not djent....I'm gonna go rewrite it. This file will be taken down.
So what if it's no djent? Music is music. I say keep the file posted.

DiminishedFifth
09-16-2010, 08:04 PM
Alright, well, I don't have Tuxguitar, so I'm gonna have to go off the MIDI:

The beginning would be good without the "melody", which I think is an organ. Take that out and it'll be a lot better. The bass riff, and the riff following, do a good job of creating pace, but don't really bring much to the table. A nice melody over the top (a la, Periphery) would be amazing. The little changes you do to it keep me interested, but it doesn't really pick up till 1:06, which is where it's best.

Then back to the intro. I think what you should do is take out the organ, and then put a choir/strings in the back just holding out some chord.

The next riff is really just a lot like the first "verse" riff. It needs some variety. You're really only sticking to diminished chords, and a couple notes. The thing at 2:11 would be awesome as a breakdown-ish section. Maybe not necessarily a breakdown, but maybe a good guitar solo could go over it.

2:40 - The background guitar is kind of annoying...

Not gonna lie, I really liked the solo up until you hit that rising chord. After that, it kinda went downhill. I think the rhythm at 2:11 would have been PERFECT underneath this.

The fade-in effect at 3:16 was awesome, by the way.

Overall, a pretty average song. It doesn't bring anything new to the table, but it doesn't seem like it's trying to. It has some harmony issues, but nothing unfixable. Repetition is what you need to work on. You repeat the same riff (and riffs of the same style) with almost no variation.

6/10.

I'll post again with C4C when I finish and post my newest song ;]

P.S. : It's not really djent... it's more Death Metal along the lines of Born of Osiris, but with less techy melodies/rhythms, IMO.

Ginsu
09-16-2010, 08:11 PM
It's not really djent... it's more Death Metal along the lines of Born of Osiris, but with less techy melodies/rhythms, IMO.

Thanks...and it's actually funny, because this time I tried to write a djent song...last time I tried to write a generic metalcore song, it came out as djent (It's up here somewhere, called Volcano).

champayne
09-16-2010, 08:15 PM
Not bad. Like every other person said, this isn't really djent, but we've already established that. The intro is a bit odd. And not in a good way. I can see why people have called this "awful", but I don't really agree. I will say that the keyboard is awful, and that it doesn't contribute positively to the song in any way. It honestly sounds like a pirate-themed drug trip, which makes me shudder. The song then takes a turn for the better, even if that means... deathcore *scary music*! Though the genre is notorious for being generic and just... bad in general, I have enjoyed many pieces written here at T&C, so there shall be no prejudice. The song continues in the same, somewhat original fashion. Skipping over some of the generic deathcore parts, it was rather enjoyable. I was relieved at the solo, mostly because I'm happy to see some odd chromaticism instead of the same minor generic solos most bands put forth these days. Actually, I take that back. I was just unused to hearing solos in deathcore songs, even here. Since I don't have Tuxguitar installed at the moment, I can't really suggest much to fix, except taking off or rewriting the keyboard.

7/10 Crit mine? Nightman Awakens in my sig.

bloodshed344
09-16-2010, 10:35 PM
Enjoying this a lot. **** haters.

DiminishedFifth
09-16-2010, 11:02 PM
AY!
I got a song to crit now ;]

Here you go! (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=25273604#post25273604)

Drapte
09-17-2010, 12:14 AM
I'd like to say your post made my Birthday!

You really analysed my song with musical theory and I feel bad that I am unable to give you an equal Crit back, but Ill give it a shot.

First thing I notice with this song is that it would sound 100x on real instruments. The opening riff is great but I feel it would work better if you had a small intro to the song, maybe had the lead playing acoustically on its own before it kicks in. The riff after the small bass interlude is actually my favourite bit, I reallllly enjoy chords you have chosen. I don't like the lead section at the start or when it comes back in at 1:16 (sorry) However the small guitar run before that is ridiculous. 1:30 having violins sneak in is amazing too. 2:26 = NOOOO xD. 2:40 is where the song really defines it self. The most memorable part of the song imo. The solo is so shred the song as a whole really works with itself and I can see the technical masterfulness behind it.

Great Work :)

Miniskirt
09-17-2010, 01:44 PM
All the rhythm stuff gets really tiring. The riff at bar 43 is a notable one that I found kind of annoying. It would help the song greatly if you split it up between less odd rhythms and the syncopated stuff, to break it up. I mean, to someone who's never heard a band like Meshuggah, or somebody new to it, it would just sound like a mind****, but the way I heard it, it just sounded annoying. Some of the tapping was cool, though.

Odd rhythms can be used effectively but I just felt that this song overdid it. For instance, the chorus riff I thought sounded better as straight 7/8 as opposed to changing between 4/4 and 7/8.

Advice is to focus on the rhythms and how they could benefit the song, rather than to confuse people. You can do both, but it's important to make sure to put songwriting ahead of time signatures.

RedDeath9
09-17-2010, 05:11 PM
The Intro is so awkward! I love it. The church organ makes it almost playful. Something you'd hear in a Bowser Level in Mario Kart.

The next riff is okay... It'd probably sound badass recorded, but MIDI doesn't do it justice, I think.

The bends in the next part are pretty unsettling.... I really like that.

I liked the re-intro... The transition wasn't off in any way.

The drums in the next part kind of ruin the riff for me, and the riff wasn't too interesting to begin with, so...

Everything between that and the solo was purely 'okay.' Nothing special... It's just something I'd have to sit through as I waited for the solo. And GOD, is the solo something to wait for... That was amazing.

Any section I didn't mention (like the little solo breaks) were probably just 'meh' to me. I'm not a big fan of diminished harmonies used in transitions, ESPECIALLY when it's this kind of music, because it seems so generic to me.

I'd say keep working on it... This would probably sound great recorded, but the whole "MIDI"-ness of it makes it repetitive to listen to.

huevos
09-18-2010, 03:17 AM
That organ is terrifying.

And it does have the djent sound, yet it sounds much closer to the progenitor of the 'kvlt'* genre that is djent; Meshuggah.

It has a lot of mathcore stylings as well, like Sikth and Extol in their mathcore era.

As a song, I don't think it's all too bad. I would've loved the shit out of this like a 1 or 2 ago, but I moved on from the chaotic breed of music.
Take that as you will.

Also, don't take down the file. It would be foolish to do so.



*I know you troofags will get upset if I don't put a disclaimer.

Of_Wolves
09-20-2010, 08:32 PM
Keep the organ. It makes the piece for me.

That is all. For now ;)

Ginsu
09-28-2010, 08:48 PM
Thanks for all the crits!

I've been busy, so I haven't been able to C4C for most of you yet, but I will as soon as I have time.

Kirborg
09-30-2010, 10:49 AM
that was cool. it has some kinks but i like the overall vibe off the song