4 songs (AltRock) C4C [Gp5/4/Midi]


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Julz127
09-19-2010, 04:01 AM
Got 4 songs here, 1 & 4 are done, 2 & 3 are about half finished. I kind of want to make it a sort of EP or something. Mixed for RSE, however I'll upload Gp4 and Midi, although It'll probably sound terrible, (or worse, at least :D ). Also I'll upload an Mp3 of each of them recorded out of Gp.

1st song is about the rain, then the second half of it is sort of like the sun coming out.

2 & 3 Not really sure what they're about yet, but kind of following the water/ocean/rain theme. 2 would have seagulls & beach sounds at the beginning and also the outro.

Preferably listen on headphones, C4C of course.

:cheers:

edit: updated song 3 :eek: look down the thread for it. :D

Yachar
09-19-2010, 10:51 AM
Hello.

Commenting as I listen.

The first song... wow it's actually a Song I LIKE! You succeed very hard, mister, because usually the only stuff that gets my interest here is the proggy experimental instrumental things. The mood is nice, the chords appropriate and the climax - so the chorus actually DOES resolve the emotional tension. Which is a change. You have interesting motif's or motions incorporated throughout, so there is no point where the listener feels bored by hearing the same chords again. With the lyrics added it's even less of a problem, ofc.

The second song:
I really like the ominous mood of the beginning. You know how to create memorable moods in music along with actual good themes. I love the 5/4 time. I can only imagine how good this would be with good appropriate vocals. Not much to say other than that you are a master of textures. I really like the mood setting. (Rhodes piano was especially a nice touch)
I'd say if you add that very last Dm chord in there - the song is finished. It doesn't really need to go on at all. It's perfect as it is.

The third song:
Again, I am digging the mood setting right from the start. You don't happen to be influenced by Pink Floyd, are you? I can hear them in the solo guitar part and dreamy mood. The very quiet drums remind me of some moments from Radiohead's music. This song is unfinished, though, yes. The lack of vocals here actually starts to bother. A clear melody is almost there in idea... it starts to bother that you can't hear it in reality.
A clearer chorus section is needed, perhaps.

The fourth song:
Ooh, it even has a prelude. Epic. :P
And the intro is suitably epic. Very strong themes in this one. I love it.
The verse needs the vocals part perhaps written out with a saxophone or a synth voice or something. Before the second guitar enters, it's kind of dull.
However on the whole this is an epic and very well composed song.

If you could perform these live and have suitably good lyrics for these foundations, then you'd have yourself a fan in me, good sir.


* * *
C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1363135
No pressure though.

huevos
09-20-2010, 10:58 PM
The 1st song is quite grim!
The somber tones destroy me. Well, it was what really drew me in. It was a bit slow paced for my taste, but I understand that the crawling pace gives it the melancholy tone.
Percussion, on the other hand, was a bit obsolete. I feel that the song stands strong on it's own. That and the bass.
The lack of rhythmic accenting could be dealt with in 2 ways. Get rid of drumming completely and strengthen the melodic aspect or make it more groove based.
My opinion is to go with the first option, but do what you feel is the correct way.

2nd song:
Not to be a dick, but the applause just really sounds like it's self-serving.
I found it unnecessary.
You channeling Tool in this piece no?
It works for what it is. However, I don't see the connection between this piece and the other. I think the vocals and lyrics would have to tie them in.

Damn it! The whole song sounded like it was going to release the tension in a grand finale!
What happened there?

#3:
Pleasing chord voicings, although it was still a bit slow paced. It's not about cramming every bar full of notes, not at all. It just seems like there's a build-up to a climax that never arrives. Too much tension, while being perfectly consonant.

I don't hate the airy atmosphere. I love plenty of post-music. There's a lacking sense of drive though. I want there to be high energy; it doesn't have to be angry or hateful. Hell, listen to some behop and you'll see what I mean. It's something in the music that makes you wanna move.
It's beyond the technical capacities of music; it's the soul of music that moves us.

4:
I'll be honest. I did like the other pieces. They have potential.
This one. Not so much.
I don't know what your were trying to achieve. I understand the scheme of the other songs, but this one just didn't click. At all. I wouldn't call it a choice in preference either. It's perplexing how it seems so disconnected, even it is relatively simple and straightforward.
The lack of a well established motif is one reason.
I think the lack of discernible separation between sections messed it up as well.

The other pieces I would keep and build on.
The entirety of the fourth one, no.

I'd like to point out that timbre is nice, but if everything else sounds convoluted or diluted, than tone really means nothing.
Tone is more of a decoration when compared to the meat and potatoes of song structure, melody/harmony, and rhythm. I guess dynamics would fall somewhere in the middle ground.
Then again, if you want to focus on the pure physical sound (timbre), go crazy with it. New music is always found by pushing the limits of what has already been established.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-26-2010, 09:53 AM
Song #1:
The intro chord progression sounds pretty sad and all, I really liked it, it really sounds expressive in a way...The lead part at the beginning follows this trend, and the distorted lead sounds great as well. The Chorus was just sweet as well, it sounded very moody...sorta? I can imagine this part fitting into a movie's outro and just being quite epic. Nothing wrong with this song so far. Grr the next verse was good too, Part B was better, but you needed something slower (like Verse A) to change into that intense feeling. Hmm intense chorus, I really liked it, it sounds like something from Brand New's Daisy album, so great stuff. Starting from the strings, the wah lead guitar sounds amazing with that 3rd guitar in the background. I really changes the mood of the song, it sounds great though. The outro sounded nice, bringing back the verse chords, with some very nice guitar stuff over them, I really admire that, and wish that I could write like that, it sounds great. But I didnt crit anything here haha grr well it was a great song!

Song #2
Had a kinda funky intro, it was okay, but it doesnt really give off a wind or beach feel to me :/ The clean guitar sounded good though, but I think it just needs to build a litttle faster, like maybe by Section V, give the drums a go, add snare or something, build on what youve got. I love what youve got, but it doesnt go anywhere, it could be a nice interlude peice, but you could also make it go into a full song, and itd sound great.

Song #3
ooo spacy chords, I like it, with the simple leads too...it builds a little bit and still sounds good, the tremolo lead was a great touch. And I like the jazzy part after that too, it sounded pretty good. But going back to the beginning was good too. I can see this song getting pretty heavy if you decide to continue it...I like the chords that you are using though, and I feel they would sound nice if distorted with a steady drum beat behind them, maybe try that. I think that vocals would sound great in these songs also...they can really tie the melodies together, or are you planning to make these instrumentals?

Song #4
Well the prelude was nice, no complaints. The actual intro didnt do much for me though. But I did like the chorus that followed, although im not a fan of the drums during it. Id either make it steady cymbals, or just use the ride, it sounds weird to me as it is. The next verse also sounds off using the cymbals that much with just a bass playing, but maybe my RSE is just being weird. Well some of the volumes are messing up for me but oh well. Once the main riff came back, I thought it was pretty good. the break was okay, I didnt care for it that much was it was a great transition into the Chorus. The chorus was great, but Im not sure if the rhythm guitar was supposed to be set to a bass...maybe thats a mistake, because it sounds better as a distorted guitar...but the last chorus was sick, the lead line was great here, as was the outro soloing. Close sounds great, the best way possible to close this song, it was perfect.

Im sorry I didnt give much help for improving, but there wasnt much to do. They all sounded great though, my favorite being the first one, I realllllly like your style. what would you say are your main influences?


EDIT: could you look at one of those songs in my sig?

Julz127
10-26-2010, 10:17 PM
Song #2
Had a kinda funky intro, it was okay, but it doesnt really give off a wind or beach feel to me :/ The clean guitar sounded good though, but I think it just needs to build a litttle faster, like maybe by Section V, give the drums a go, add snare or something, build on what youve got. I love what youve got, but it doesnt go anywhere, it could be a nice interlude peice, but you could also make it go into a full song, and itd sound great.

Song #3
...

or are you planning to make these instrumentals?

Song #4

...

I realllllly like your style. what would you say are your main influences?


EDIT: could you look at one of those songs in my sig?

Thanks for the crit, I've been quite a fan of your stuff for a while so it means a lot that you've looked my stuff, so thanks.

About song 2, For ages I'd also thought that it felt unfinished, but idk now I'm kinda liking it as it is. However I do like the idea of a kind of synth jam thing at the end... we'll see.

No they aren't meant to be instrumentals, they would have vocals however I can't sing, and I don't know anyone who can. :(

In general I listen to Tool, Radiohead, Pink Floyd, Mogwai, and lots of other random stuff, so I guess they are my main influences.

I've been writing song 1 on and off for like 2 years and listened to a lot of different music in that time so I've know Idea what specifically influenced it.

The bass part for song 2 is actually taken from the guitar in the break section of the 4th song. I liked it so much I thought I'd try and write another song based around it.
It's quite influenced by Tool.

Song 3 is kind of inspired by the intro guitar solo from Crazy Diamond pt. 1.
I've done quite a bit of work on it lately, I'll attach the latest version to this post.

Song 4, I'm not particularly happy with, I'll probably re-write the first half of it when I get around to it, and yes, the guitar is using the bass tone, which everyone seems to hate, but I really like it. :shrug:

I'll go crit a couple of your songs, I've already listened to most of them already anyway.

Thanks again

:cheers:

Danul454
10-27-2010, 01:40 AM
For song one:

Intro/Verse?: I really like it straight off the bat. The tremolo on the guitar adds a really cool effect over the nice, sad chord progression. Then the strings and drums come in. I like the peacefulness of the drums. Helps keep the song under control. I also really like the bass, how it gets a little dissonant now and then, it makes it sound very dramatic. The guitar and drums starting at 25 really remind me of Pink Floyd, nice job.

Chorus: Change seems a little weird at first, but works out in the end. I like the tremolo guitar and rain effects here, especially how it fades into the Break.

Break: Cool, simply put. The first bend sounds weird to me, but overall good job on this part, especially at "love that bend". Really powerful.


Verse A: Good job keeping up the intensity that the chorus and break provided instead of just using the same verse pattern. The clean guitar works really well with the acoustic here. Nice drum fill at the end.

Verse B: Very dramatic. I like. Nice drum work throughout. Could be super amazing with some good vocals.

Chorus: Good job keeping the song powerful, again. The guitar's strum pattern is pretty simple, and it'd be nice if it changed up a bit every now and then, but it's still good.

Bridge: Nice use of fading back and forth/effects. I'm sure this section would be awesome when actually recorded (not to say it's not awesome now :D.) I think some strings here and there throughout this section could be pretty great. I like the little solo at the end.

Out: Nice job tying up the song. The little lead licks do a really good job.


Overall, a really good song. Nice use of layering and effects. I'd like to hear this one recorded. I'll probably come back to look at your other songs later, this was a seriously nice first impression.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-27-2010, 11:58 PM
In general I listen to Tool, Radiohead, Pink Floyd, Mogwai, and lots of other random stuff, so I guess they are my main influences.
haha its funny because to me, this doesnt sound anything like Tool (although I dont listen to them that much). I can sorta kinda see the Radiohead and the Pink Floyd, and imma have to give Mogwai a listen, thanks :) (although im pretty sure Ive checked them out before). But anyways, you have your own little style going which is a good thing, it sounds great too.

EDIT: Oh and I agree that a rewrite of song #4 would be good, because I think it has some really great parts that shouldnt be scrapped.

ANOTHEREDIT: Oh youve also influenced me to get out of my metal writing streak, so I took a break after listening to these, and kinda tried something that you were doing, would you like to hear it? Its much more basic than yours, its pretty simple, I just feel like you kinda influenced it so maybe youd like to listen to it haha