JACKAL-new unfinished death metal by QAZAR GP5 and GP4 C4C


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09-24-2010, 12:09 AM
Remember C4C! Let me know what you think and all that. I've been working on this for a couple weeks.

EDIT: Ignore from bar 52 on. That's not where the song ends either, I'm just not done.

09-24-2010, 02:11 AM
added another part and brought it up a few levels epicwise.

09-25-2010, 01:40 AM
I'm surprised no one has commented on this.
It's quite solid. And Verse A is so groovy, that my balls have their own swagger now.
Disregard that.

I must say that the song is heavy as balls.
The intro reminds me of a much slimier and filthier Mastodon, with excellent groove throughout. Hell, I could say that (impeccable grooveness) about the whole song. And the grimness at bar 61?
I think it definitely works as a closing bit.
As such, I'm kinda iffy about incorporating the other bits after this section. You should try to work them in beforehand or remove them entirely.
(I was referring to ver. 2)

Good stuff mang.
I was thinking of writing some heavier stuff. Now I have a good template to work off of.
Crit this if you please.

09-25-2010, 07:06 PM
the riffs after bar 77 in version 2 aren't in the song, and i made some minor changes so ill just post it for shits.

and giggles.

tell me what you think people!

09-27-2010, 03:19 PM
added a solo at the end. Any critique would be really nice people.


09-27-2010, 03:57 PM
critting as i listen... intro bass is very tastefull.
i feel the build loses some steam at bar 27-34. the last riffs are too dissimilar from the groove to keep the intensity imo.
The verses and interlude are excellent. very badass.
bar 61 on is very epic, those chords are sweet.

crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1365694