A Somber Passage (Prog/Experimental?) (GP5 GP4 C4C)


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SOADisdabest
09-26-2010, 01:06 PM
Latest song. I was going for something gloomy and jazzy, I wrote it in one night so I'm sure there's some stuff you guys can point out. My main concern at the moment is that it's too drawn out. Leave a crit and I'll reply as soon as possible.

benonbass1
09-26-2010, 01:38 PM
The chord sequence is good, but it gets a bit repetitive as it's at such a slow pace, it feels like it goes on for way too long.

Also, there is very little actually melody over it, nothing extra or interesting.
At least until it got to the rhodes piano parts, they are really good, very atmospheric.
In fact, the whole thing catches the gloomy atmosphere very well.

I like the fretless basswork too, works really well with the longs slides.
When the guitar part comes in at bar 21, the first bar sounds really horrible and atonal, although it works after bar 21.
The drum build ups e.g. at the end of bar 12 are really good, and the shuffle makes the song stumble slowly along.
The sax part is really dark, I love it, but it needs more things like this.

What this song really needs is more dynamics, variations in pace and volume, maybe texture too, although the texture is quite nice at the moment.
It's good, but a bit uninteresting in parts and definitely too drawn out.

I hope my crit has been useful. :peace: Could you crit this (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1364781) when you get the chance? :cheers: