2 pop punk songs (gp4)


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timfoley
10-01-2010, 06:58 AM
lol just checked its actually gp5
attached are two pop punky songs i wrote,
any opinions?
constructive critisism welcome.

for now we'll just call them pop punk 1 and 2
btw, if you look in the vocals/synth track you'll find lyrics

timfoley
10-01-2010, 11:53 PM
just realised its gp5 not 4

muckypup
10-02-2010, 01:02 PM
I'll have a listen soon today dude \m/ I've got to fix my midi shit on my computer first though xD

timfoley
10-02-2010, 07:34 PM
cool, thanks

muckypup
10-03-2010, 09:31 AM
I heard pop punk 2 and i like it, i think it could make a pretty cool song if it got recorded \m/

timfoley
10-03-2010, 06:59 PM
thanks, personally i like pop punk 1 more

Mean Mr Mustard
10-03-2010, 07:23 PM
I listened to "1", and it definitely needs a better drum track. But the lead part is catchy, as are the vocals, so you may have a decent track there

timfoley
10-03-2010, 07:42 PM
I listened to "1", and it definitely needs a better drum track. But the lead part is catchy, as are the vocals, so you may have a decent track there

yea, im no drummer. it would be cool if someone could change the drums and then put it up here.

Christopher S
10-03-2010, 10:37 PM
I liked the catchyness of both of your tunes. As with most pop-punk, you kinda find yourself cheering up as of it's sheer positive energy. I like how you captured that part.

The vocal melody is very good, though, as mentioned, the drums aren't all that great.

Keep working on it - it'll be awesome.

Feel free to critique my tune here; http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1367887

Mean Mr Mustard
10-03-2010, 11:53 PM
hey, I tried making some edits to the first one. I changed the drum track, fixed the bass track and I changed the melody of the vocals just a smidge (like changing to quarter notes to eigth notes because i thought it sounded better). So see if you like it.

timfoley
10-04-2010, 01:10 AM
thanks for that mr mustard, digging the drum track, and the bass ( althought its a little bit off at some points and sometimes it gets alittle too funky) i'll change it abit and show you guys what i've doen

timfoley
10-04-2010, 01:31 AM
pretty much just took away the legato slides in the vocals, cause they sounded weird, simplified the drums a little in the chorus, cause i felt it was talking over the song, and then i took the funky bits out the bass, and there one bit that was on the wrong string. check it out.
(the drum and bass are done thanks to mr mustard)

timfoley
10-04-2010, 01:37 AM
I liked the catchyness of both of your tunes. As with most pop-punk, you kinda find yourself cheering up as of it's sheer positive energy. I like how you captured that part.

The vocal melody is very good, though, as mentioned, the drums aren't all that great.

Keep working on it - it'll be awesome

thanks, im not really into poppunk in a big way but i thought i'd give it a go.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-04-2010, 12:34 PM
thanks for that mr mustard, digging the drum track, and the bass ( althought its a little bit off at some points and sometimes it gets alittle too funky) i'll change it abit and show you guys what i've doen
haha sorry, i didnt really know what you wanted, so i just put what i figured would be good, without having a bass or a drumset. Basically, I wanted to put the bass in the right tuning (not the guitar tuning) and I just added some random fills to make it less boring (I figured they could be changed easily). But it still sounds great, nice song :cheers:

timfoley
10-04-2010, 08:04 PM
thanks

timfoley
10-09-2010, 04:52 PM
any opinions/ help for poppunk 2?