I need your opinion on a short riff (its fast, heavy and technical) GP5


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TehDutchDude
10-03-2010, 04:32 PM
I'm in something like an amateuristic band with some friends of mine, and one of em said something today which got me to thinking. This is the average flow of business in our band project:

- Drummer writes a drum riff / I (guitar player) write a riff.
- Drummer adds drums to guitar riffs / I add guitar parts to the drum riffs.
- Other two band members tell me how incredibly horrible the riffs that we write are.

Now I can understand that my writing skills aren't quite what they should be. I mean, hey, at least I try, right?

Anyhow, before I drift off even further, this is the latest riff I wrote. I've got an idea for a song in my mind which is fast, over the top and intense - a bit like If You Want Piece, Prepare For War by CoB.

Upon letting my bassist hear this riff, he responds with: its crap.

Is this really as crap as he claims it to be? If it is, don't hesitate to tell me.

WizMystery
10-03-2010, 04:40 PM
I didn't really do much for me. That might be the lack of any backup parts; sometimes a riff that sounds horrible alone sounds great with the rest of the band. Try adding some background stuff and see what happens (unless of course you can't write drums/bass and that's the reason you use that method).

elleild
10-03-2010, 04:45 PM
Sounds really messy, might be guitar pro though

TehDutchDude
10-03-2010, 04:46 PM
I cant write drum and bass indeed :P It sounds a little bit messy in GP5 but when I play it, it sounds really tight.

steve98614
10-03-2010, 04:49 PM
Dude, I think is sounds sick, if it were me tho i would change the tremolo picking at the end and replace it with something that makes it memorable or catchy because the fast riff, i think it was triplets i only heard it once, is sick n then u cant just end it with a generic ending, you should keep it going so that the phrase ends and the listener thinks "wow", the buildup is right, the main riff is right, it just dies with that tremolo picking, IMO that ending should be as complex as the riff but sound just as good

MaXiMuse
10-03-2010, 04:49 PM
Well. If we say this riff is amazing what would you do? Tell your band that everyone on UG liked it? Thats not gonna change anything is it. It seems that you need to get the 'genre' of your band. If you like CoB while the rest wears leather pants while listening to Van Halen I dont think its gonna work...

TehDutchDude
10-03-2010, 04:50 PM
Thanks mate! I agree that the trempicking is too generic, gonna work on it now.

I made a different ending. See my first post for the file.

Well. If we say this riff is amazing what would you do? Tell your band that everyone on UG liked it? Thats not gonna change anything is it. It seems that you need to get the 'genre' of your band. If you like CoB while the rest wears leather pants while listening to Van Halen I dont think its gonna work...


Nah, I won't. Thing is, it's so friggin' frustrating to spend my time writing riffs which I deem as 'pretty cool', and then having two bandmates always come up with random crap. They always give random comments. I want to know whether they are just idiots, or whether they actually make valid comments. If they tell me "its crap" 100% of the time, but UG says "it's crap" 50% of the time, then I know that it's not entirely me.

You have a point about genre though. Strange thing is that they all like Slipknot, Trivium, etc. So this sort of riff should not be all too alien for them.

Man, I feel pissed off, lol.

steve98614
10-03-2010, 05:04 PM
Ha! exactly what it needed, I think that second ending is where its at.... but like i said its only my opinion

WizMystery
10-03-2010, 05:15 PM
I like the second one better. Probably because of the drums (even though there's still work to be done).

DaddyTwoFoot
10-03-2010, 05:25 PM
Second one is better, but not much. The intro is pretty dang cool, but the actual riff part is weak.

TehDutchDude
10-03-2010, 05:27 PM
Thanks for the comments guys - seems that my bandmates need to work on their socializing skills. I'm gonna work this one out a bit further and if it ends up in being an actual song, I'll post it here :) Thanks again dudes, your feedback is greatly appreciated!

JazzDeath
10-03-2010, 05:40 PM
Hum.

I don't really consider this horrible and total garbage, but its not really good, either.

If you can't write good drums and you have band mates, and a drummer, don't write drums.

Second of all, your intro, the lead guitar part is fine, it's simple and could give a cool kind of pseudo egyptian atmosphere, yet the backing guitar track (one single power chord with root note rhythmics) is extremely dull, there's no chord progression because it's always the same chord and there's no change in the melody, so it ends up sounding annoying near the end.

The transition is crap, seriously. Nothing good about this. It would be better even just holding out a chord for a whole measure, your drum fill doesn't bring up the intensity for next riff at all.

Next riff could be good with proper punches on rhythm and drums and bass following those punches - just a little thing though, your last note (13th fret) of measure 10 is off key and it sounds bad, just put the 14th fret instead, and your last measure (tremolo picked) isn't very good, change that.

Thing is I dont know what your band is looking for (slow and catchy? Thats not very descriptive. Slow heavy and catchy like doom metal? Or with polyrhythms in a nu metal fashion? Chugs? Guitar fills and melodies?) They obviously don't know how to explain properly what they want and this is obviously an issue; you should clarify with your bandmates what your vision is for your band, what you want it to sound like, what the feeling should be.

Second of all, maybe try communicating with your band on constructive criticism, i.e trying to show how to improve things instead of just bashing it - I think what you need here is some pointers on how to improve, not people simply telling you it's shit without telling you what's wrong with it.

If you want some tips for improving this I could help you out or mess around with the GP a bit, up to you.

TehDutchDude
10-03-2010, 06:36 PM
...

Second of all, maybe try communicating with your band on constructive criticism, i.e trying to show how to improve things instead of just bashing it - I think what you need here is some pointers on how to improve, not people simply telling you it's shit without telling you what's wrong with it.



And that is exactly what's wrong in my band. I just wrote them an e-mail explaining things. If you wanna mess around with the riff, go ahead! I'm curious what a more experienced guitarist can do with my idea :) The drums by the way are a temporary solution and the guitar rythm track is just a filler. Still, thank you for your constructive feedback.

MobiuZ
10-03-2010, 08:11 PM
hey man cinda like bars 1 to 8 , allthough it could use some more backup sound
im not sure about basr 10 - 13 , it sounds good but its like its not in synch or something :S
anyway good idea , and with some extra work it could turn into a good song i think.

Could you crit Ride Forever Free for me ? its in my sig

Hail
10-03-2010, 11:09 PM
If I'd say anything about the riff itself, it would be to throw in a creepy kind of chord, maybe a minor 7th, then build up with lots of crescendo to help out the drums build up the energy over the measure.

That being said, I feel like this whole part is just 1 big intro riff divided into 2 parts. If you pick up from the end and jump straight into a catchy, fast verse riff I think they'd feel different.

I'm not gonna whine about the backing tracks cause it's about judging the riff; TS added a basic backup to help beef it up for everybody else.

Eastwinn
10-04-2010, 04:47 PM
Melodious? Melodic.

I listened to the second one. I think the slow part sounds like early Megadeth. It's good as an into. The fast riff is cool too on one condition: don't make it the center piece of the song, or the "main riff". You'll want to follow that with something slower and catchier, like your friend said. Or even a break down of some sort.

Also I think your band mates are pricks from reading your story.

DaddyTwoFoot
10-04-2010, 06:45 PM
Melodious? Melodic.

I listened to the second one. I think the slow part sounds like early Megadeth. It's good as an into. The fast riff is cool too on one condition: don't make it the center piece of the song, or the "main riff". You'll want to follow that with something slower and catchier, like your friend said. Or even a break down of some sort.

Also I think your band mates are pricks from reading your story.
Melodic and melodious are different words. Melodic means pertaining to melody. Melodious means tuneful.

Eastwinn
10-04-2010, 09:24 PM
Melodic and melodious are different words. Melodic means pertaining to melody. Melodious means tuneful.

Hmm, you're right. I've always heard melodic used both ways. Kind of a dumb word anyway. Carry on.

Kirborg
10-05-2010, 06:17 AM
Intro is pretty cool, nothing too original but it does what it needs to do. The riff after is a bit too chaotic for my tastes I would definitely work on changing that. Whether you're actually a more accomplished writer then your mates judge you to be is kind of hard to tell from only one-and-a-half riff though.

Ometh
10-05-2010, 09:33 AM
The riffing is ok, but i kind of see where your bandmates are getting at: they don't like those "metal" bands for it's "heaviness", but because they are catchy: write something melodic and upbeat and send them: i'll bet they will jizz in their panties and start worshipping you. My point is, I think you don't belong with them: tell them to **** off. Seriously.

MaXiMuse
10-05-2010, 10:22 AM
Thanks mate! I agree that the trempicking is too generic, gonna work on it now.

I made a different ending. See my first post for the file.




Nah, I won't. Thing is, it's so friggin' frustrating to spend my time writing riffs which I deem as 'pretty cool', and then having two bandmates always come up with random crap. They always give random comments. I want to know whether they are just idiots, or whether they actually make valid comments. If they tell me "its crap" 100% of the time, but UG says "it's crap" 50% of the time, then I know that it's not entirely me.

You have a point about genre though. Strange thing is that they all like Slipknot, Trivium, etc. So this sort of riff should not be all too alien for them.

Haha, I totally understand you. Sometimes I write a riff or something and the rest of the band is like... Mwah, don`t really like it while you think it`s a damn nice riff.
But make comprosis, and also get them into your riffs slowly. So first make some catchy melodies, than you can add a bit of those tricky metal-things in it and stuff. The different tastes of your band should melt into eachother. MY band first played a bit more poppy stuff but later on we went to the more al rock and even some progressive or a bit metal-ish. This process can take a long time....

Shaharz
10-05-2010, 11:58 AM
It's got potential