My First Song


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10-11-2010, 04:31 AM
heh heh hi i'm doctor abstract and here's a donation of song
i hope you enjoy i don't write music i write pretty noises

10-13-2010, 10:49 AM
This is a pretty simple but cool piece. For some reason it reminds me of System of a Down - probably due to the lyrics/melody of the lyrics and the queit start that turns into a punky/grungy riff.

What I really like is the fast rhythm to the vocal melody, really catchy in the verses yet very poignant in the chorus. Interesting lyrics too; wondering where your idea came from.

Only thing I would change would be the rhythm the guitar plays the riff at the chorus. The jumpy rhythm works for the verses but perhaps a straighter rhythm would work better for the chorus?

Apart from that you've got yourself a nice little number here, pretty good for a first song - seen as it has the vocal part too. 8/10