Clean, melodic stuff <unfinished> [Gp5/Gp4/MIDI]


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CheesyMozarella
10-13-2010, 05:33 PM
It turned out a bit Opethish. :)

Anyway, I don't really know how to continue/if the beginning's good etc. I'm really tuck, and can't think of anything to add. :p

Should the intro/solo carry on a bit longer?

Ultima2876
10-13-2010, 05:38 PM
I like it. Sounds floaty :D

Axe Samurai
10-13-2010, 06:50 PM
I'm loving the sound of this so far.

That lead jazz guitar is just so melodic from bar 13-20
you seem to be an excellent composer with some cool ideas and the harmonics at bar 9-10 are very cool. I originally thought it was a bit of subtle piano but that's because i wasn't looking at my screen when listening :haha:

The first guitar when you look at it looks repetitive but for me it was totally fine due to the subtle changes you made and the fact the drums and 2nd guitar had entered. So for me it didn't seem repetitive at all and i'm just curious how others might percieve it. You asked "should the intro/solo carry on a bit longer?". I actually don't know, at the moment i think it's perfect. It doesn't sound repetitive and overall it sound's awesome. Have you tried adding some lead melody over the strummed chords that followed? because i would for that to continue but i ain't sure about the arpeggiated sequence.

The drums and bass line very much work along side the guitars so great work.

Overall i can see this has great potential. You really seem to be good at the lead melodies as well as the composing in general. Be sure to send me a message at some point when this song is further along, would love to give you a full crit because it's sounding cool so far.

You wouldn't mind criting my piece which is Jazz Blues?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1350948

Wquennasar
10-17-2010, 06:15 PM
You're too good =P

I'd end the intro/solo and start doing something else, hard to extend it any further. Sounds really cool.

Danul454
10-17-2010, 08:12 PM
I would start the solo at bar 17 and have it end at 24 and maybe extend it out from that, cuz as it stands it sounds a tad too short to me, but still good. And at 21-28, I think you should extend that, too. If you keep all your riffs as short as they are, they won't be as memorable. Aside from that, though, all the parts sound good together, but the drums sorta sound like they're getting into a sort of electronica thing, which isn't bad at all, but I'm just guessing that's not really what you're going for.

C4C? (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1372428)

Ulalume
10-21-2010, 06:55 AM
Before I begin I would recommend fiddling with some section markers to make it easier when critiquing. Its not a big deal but it helps easily direct comments to a particular section.

-Right off the bat the arpeggios are very nicely done. The added high octave notes help a lot with the tonality as well.

-I am intrigued by how quickly you were able to successfully transition from arpeggios to chords while utilizing the flow of the brief little intro solo. I think because of how this transition works so well extending the solo would be a bad idea on your part.

And Christ I was expecting a little bit more to come into play. You definitely need to extend this and make it a full song. The intro section you have written is pretty much perfect and needs no additional work. The only thing you need to determine is what style of music you want it to go into. I could easily see this working in any shoegaze influenced style (post-rock, electronica hardcore, jazz metal, or something along those lines).

C4C if you don't mind: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1371645