Progressive Metal [GP5/C4C]


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Mean Mr Mustard
10-16-2010, 10:33 PM
So this is a song that I just finished, its pretty long and Id like to know how it is, and some useful crits or stuff for it. Its influenced by BTBAM, and also has some djenty influence. I think the intro may be too "happy" sounding though haha but I like this one. Oh and it just turned out to be 13:37 long, i didnt plan that >_> Anyways, itd be nice if you could give it a listen and mention any parts I could change or leave it maybe, if some of it sounds too whatevery, if something sounds boring or out of place, etc. Thanks :D

huevos
10-17-2010, 01:52 AM
The culmination of instruments for the intro was done masterfully.
And your harmonizations are impeccable.
There's just something exception to this piece; not only does it appear that it's very well thought out, but it has almost no dead spaces or pretentiousness.
It exists and it's awesome for existing.

Yes, that does sound like hyperbole.
And I could see where some would be bored by ever changing landscape. But I hardly think that's the case.
None of it is trite or overdone (save for the brootal riff with the open B chugs, but even then).

The mark of a good song is how it immerses you. Hell, that'd the mark of any good entertainment and artistic medium.
But as I said before, all the pieces swing together to make a highly enjoyable song.
For something that is so disjointed and disconnected to have this level of unity is truly astounding in it's paradoxical nature.


WTF at Drumz Enter (bar 522)? The drumming is too off-kilter, even for me and especially when compared to the previous sections. Was this done purposely or is there really an error?

EDIT: Don't consider this much of a crit, as it's just a face-value observation of your piece.
I'd rather not dissect it technically at the moment.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-17-2010, 09:30 AM
The culmination of instruments for the intro was done masterfully.
And your harmonizations are impeccable.
There's just something exception to this piece; not only does it appear that it's very well thought out, but it has almost no dead spaces or pretentiousness.
It exists and it's awesome for existing.

Yes, that does sound like hyperbole.
And I could see where some would be bored by ever changing landscape. But I hardly think that's the case.
None of it is trite or overdone (save for the brootal riff with the open B chugs, but even then).

The mark of a good song is how it immerses you. Hell, that'd the mark of any good entertainment and artistic medium.
But as I said before, all the pieces swing together to make a highly enjoyable song.
For something that is so disjointed and disconnected to have this level of unity is truly astounding in it's paradoxical nature.


WTF at Drumz Enter (bar 522)? The drumming is too off-kilter, even for me and especially when compared to the previous sections. Was this done purposely or is there really an error?

EDIT: Don't consider this much of a crit, as it's just a face-value observation of your piece.
I'd rather not dissect it technically at the moment.
Haha thanks :)
I tried to make the drums at that section pretty fast and technical, but I guess I obviously overdid it. I may take a look at that and change those, thanks

bloodshed344
10-17-2010, 01:19 PM
The culmination of instruments for the intro was done masterfully.
And your harmonizations are impeccable.
There's just something exception to this piece; not only does it appear that it's very well thought out, but it has almost no dead spaces or pretentiousness.
It exists and it's awesome for existing.

Yes, that does sound like hyperbole.
And I could see where some would be bored by ever changing landscape. But I hardly think that's the case.
None of it is trite or overdone (save for the brootal riff with the open B chugs, but even then).

The mark of a good song is how it immerses you. Hell, that'd the mark of any good entertainment and artistic medium.
But as I said before, all the pieces swing together to make a highly enjoyable song.
For something that is so disjointed and disconnected to have this level of unity is truly astounding in it's paradoxical nature.


WTF at Drumz Enter (bar 522)? The drumming is too off-kilter, even for me and especially when compared to the previous sections. Was this done purposely or is there really an error?

EDIT: Don't consider this much of a crit, as it's just a face-value observation of your piece.
I'd rather not dissect it technically at the moment.
I've just gotta say I disagree about the drums (and your comment led me to believe it was going to be something entirely off beat or something). There's really no big deal with the drums, hell Atheist even used the same drumkit in a transition in one of their songs! Now that was off-kilter, but their place in this song completely fits.

Dio10101
10-18-2010, 08:35 PM
Hi, I'm the guy who you critted the song of last night( or maybe it was this morning), but I couldn't open up the song. If you want me to crit one of your other ones, I'd be happy to.
EDIT: I tried to open up other files, but every one of yours won't let me open it up.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-18-2010, 09:08 PM
Hi, I'm the guy who you critted the song of last night( or maybe it was this morning), but I couldn't open up the song. If you want me to crit one of your other ones, I'd be happy to.
EDIT: I tried to open up other files, but every one of yours won't let me open it up.
Yeah, its cool, dont worry about it man, that happens with some people for some reason, oh well :/

Danul454
10-18-2010, 09:18 PM
Have you tried re-uploading it?

Mean Mr Mustard
10-18-2010, 11:24 PM
Have you tried re-uploading it?
okay, I just tried that

EDIT: it should work now (I hope)

AA00P
10-19-2010, 03:15 AM
Oh my god that was so good.
This thing takes me places, especially the more tranquil parts. You create such an atmosphere, it's just perfect.

I don't think the br00tal parts were quite as memorable as the rest, but everything worked so well together. If there's a way to make this song better, I can't imagine how.

You done BTBAM proud.

Arycama
10-19-2010, 03:46 AM
Pretty awesome man, it's a very interesting song and isn't repetitive at all. You used all the instruments rather well, although in a few sections it seems a tad overpowering, but I guess it suits the feel of the song.

Some of the riffs are rather interesting and unique, and they generally fit the song pretty well.

Some sections it feels like theres too many instruments doing different things and theres not really a melody that stands out though.

All in all, I enjoyed listening to it, and it wasn't boring or pretentious at all. Nice work!

yellowshirtguy
10-19-2010, 04:01 AM
I had no idea this board existed until now, and I'm really glad I found it just so I could listen to this. It was really great.

As long as it was I never got bored with it. I can't think of any other song I've listened to that is nearly as long and didn't have at least one part that bored me.

I lol'd so hard at the part marked ":(" just for the description of :(

Really great stuff.

Danul454
10-19-2010, 08:18 PM
It makes me sad that I can't listen to this :( could you try uploading as a MIDI here? (http://www.midishrine.com/index.php?site=upload)

Mean Mr Mustard
10-19-2010, 08:43 PM
It makes me sad that I can't listen to this :( could you try uploading as a MIDI here? (http://www.midishrine.com/index.php?site=upload)
"Filesize too big. Your file is 310366 bytes, max bytes = 262144" sorry man haha I really wish you could listen to it too along with everyone else that cant listen to it :(

Dio10101
10-20-2010, 10:49 PM
Perhaps putting it out in GP5 form would work better.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-20-2010, 11:12 PM
Perhaps putting it out in GP5 form would work better.
The site wont let me attach it because the GP5 is too big, which causes me to be forced to condense it into a .zip which wont work for everyone :livid: but thanks for trying :)

TehDutchDude
10-21-2010, 05:25 AM
Holy shit dude, that is really good. I listened the MIDI version as I'm not home at the moment, but wow. I really like 6:30, but the rest is also superb. 8:12 is quite a clash though, but it settles in after the first few bars. I do like how the song changes direction from something that's quite 'dreamy' to something that's pretty aggressive, back to something a little dreamy/mysterious again.

I've never listened to something this long without it becoming boring or uninteresting, but you managed to do it. I also don't have the feeling that you unnecessarily stretched the song to it's current length. You did a great job, please record this ;p

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1373460

Mean Mr Mustard
10-21-2010, 07:59 AM
Holy shit dude, that is really good. I listened the MIDI version as I'm not home at the moment, but wow. I really like 6:30, but the rest is also superb. 8:12 is quite a clash though, but it settles in after the first few bars. I do like how the song changes direction from something that's quite 'dreamy' to something that's pretty aggressive, back to something a little dreamy/mysterious again.

I've never listened to something this long without it becoming boring or uninteresting, but you managed to do it. I also don't have the feeling that you unnecessarily stretched the song to it's current length. You did a great job, please record this ;p

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1373460
Yeah I figured 8:12 would be a sorta surprise haha, its what I was going for. And I once I get a mic, Im recording all the guitar tracks and the bass track, but I dont have a band for the rest :/

Thanks for your crit, Ill crit yours tonight when I get back from school :cheers:

patrickaumon
10-21-2010, 08:14 AM
Your songs are just so insane! I touch so many aspect of music. There is nothing to change. Nothing.

LessThanLuke
10-27-2010, 05:49 AM
Okay, critting as I go along so excuse inaccuracy, if you fancy do ing a more BTBAM one of mine and less AAL, there's a link to one fairly similar to this in my sig:

The strings set a nice mood, the acoustic complements it nicely, it's repetitive without being boring (that's a good thing, it eases you into a mood).

Bar 42 could've perhaps used an additional instrument to enter at that point, it felt quite momentous but could've been bigger with just one more layer added there. But I'd say don't move this piano earlier, as it feels right where it is. The A and F (20/21) in bar 55 are off, they don't quite fit, it should be 20/22. Ditto the low 1st fret in bar 61, should be 2nd fret.

The flute part is nice, I didn't notice the string and acoustic part cut out, and that's tough to get right, so well done there, a nice segue.

84-93, I'll be honest I'm not keen on, the switching 4/5/4 seems odd and it's all been so naturally flowing (and becomes naturally flowing again at 94) that, those bars feel like they're out of place.

110 -- I'd have cut the other instruments earlier, as soon as the djent came in, give it more of a thwack of.. yeah, here's the lead, tough luck, suck on it ;)

131-132, love those triads. C#/A, and B/G#, feels good.

*skipping ahead a bit, gotta head out in a moment and I wanna see the end!*

343 -- lol. That was quite a sudden degeneration into metullz dischords, I'm not keen but this isn't my kind of thing anyway.

I enjoyed the piece at 392 and the melody added to it, felt like a nice juxtaposition of clean and low, the sweeped arpeggios following it were nice too.

Thrash after that's a little dull, but.. yeah, BTBAM do make a lot of use of these sections, I usually get bored in them ;)

457, I like what's going on here with the combination of the octaves and the D/B combination. Breakdown after that's a little unnecessary, screaming metalcore, yuk :p

The lead over 506 onward is REALLY nice, feels like a vocal melody.

I like the use of the electronic kit at 522, I always get tempted to use it but never find a place.

Stays pretty nice from there on out, piano at the end is lovely.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-27-2010, 11:49 PM
Okay, critting as I go along so excuse inaccuracy, if you fancy do ing a more BTBAM one of mine and less AAL, there's a link to one fairly similar to this in my sig:
haha yeah, Ive checked out that song in your sig, it's pretty insane, I dont knwo if Id be able to crit it, so Ill just compliment it: it sounds great. And thanks for the crit, youre awesome.

Josher.K
11-06-2010, 05:16 PM
That was fantastic, I really like the mellow parts, but the br00tal isn't really my cup of tea.
My favorite part was Flashback and Preheat, those are nice.

synestershadows
11-17-2010, 04:30 PM
Thanks for checking out my song!

Wow, this is great! You really like messing with the key signatures. lol. This song is just all over the place, and I mean that in a really good way. I just feel like sometimes you might have too much going on at one time. Harmonic Tears is really really well done. That's probably one of my favorite parts. Very BTBAM-esque. Floating is also very nice too. You chose the perfect title to describe it. Haha. Keep up the good work.