I need some advise with kicking out this band member.


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DanBLON00
01-01-2011, 04:11 AM
Right now me and my band kind of have a "fifth wheel". In September of '09 we hired this person to be our bassist. At the time the band consisted of him on bass, me on guitar/vocals, a drummer/vocalist, and a lead guitarist. This person played with us for about 10 months until the summer rolled around. He got a job as a camp counselor at a Christian summer camp up in Pennsylvania because he wants to be a youth minister one day and he heard that this would be good for that. So before he left we found a bassist to replace him over the summer. While playing with this bassist we discovered that he fit in pretty well with us and our music style a little better than our previous bassist. After summer we decided to keep the new bassist but our previous bassist still wanted to be in the band. So we put him on 3rd guitar and keyboard.

The problem is, we're not working well with 3 guitars. A lot of our stuff is sounding cluttered and overloaded. And if that's not bad enough, this person doesn't even have any of his own gear. He has a good guitar and a distortion pedal, but that's about it. He's currently just using one of my old amps that doesn't even sound that good. Another thing is that he's not willing to learn any metal covers we do because he doesn't like metal. We also have a lot of musical differences with him. And on top of all that stuff, he's not very motivated. He'll easily skip out on a gig or practice if he has any sort plan no matter how small it is. So as you can see, we're gonna kick him out.

The catch is, me and the drummer are really good friends with him and I'm afraid that if we kick him out he won't ever wanna hang out or see us again. The band is also all he's got going for him right now. He's 20 years old, he barely graduated high school and can't afford to go to college, he's unemployed and can't land a job, and he still lives with his parents. So if we kick him out I don't know what he'll do. So what can we do to let him out easily so he won't be mad at us or hold any grudges?

KingEuphoric
01-01-2011, 04:26 AM
Keep him on keys? Or have him double up rhythyms? Id give him the boot but those are options. Or tell him he can be your manager... he doesnt actually have to do anything but maybe hell feel involved

DanBLON00
01-01-2011, 04:28 AM
^ We would keep him on keys, but what we play doesn't really need keys. And he's also not really even that good on the keys. >_>

jimihendrix6699
01-01-2011, 04:32 AM
just kick him out. maybe it will motivate him to actually do something with his life. regardless, i would kick him out if he isn't needed at all and is detrimental to the band. it only makes sense.

pandora_grunt
01-01-2011, 06:14 AM
Grow a pair and tell him the truth. Which ofcourse, includes the bit how you don't wanna lose him as a friend. Hell, maybe you can still jam sometimes.

Thereisnotry
01-01-2011, 06:40 PM
If you REALLY want to avoid kicking him out, just keep him on keys playing basic chord progressions. If he won't learn a song, tell him he can sit that one out when you play it. If he won't practice or gets bored playing simple shit that nobody can even hear anyway, then he'll probably quit on his own and he can only blame himself.

Hail
01-01-2011, 07:19 PM
If you actively gig, you can keep him involved without him actually playing an instrument. I like the idea of letting him "manage" the band, but that might be a little bit too much responsibility.

Just tell him the band has too many people and he's kinda of auxiliary in a group that really doesn't need it, but still keep him involved in letting him hear songs and take his opinions, get him to come to the shows, maybe even roadie for you if he wants.

Or you could always be like Slipknot and let him walk around banging kegs. With all the other members playing "actual" instruments, the stage presence would probably be useful.

wifiguy51
01-02-2011, 06:35 AM
Tambourine? Percussion & background vocals? If you really think that's a waste, I like the manager idea, although you have to explain to him if you guys actually get successful, he can't be your actual manager. I mean if he's not doing anything important musically, then it's kind of a waste for him and your band. I think your best bet is to sit him down and say, hey man the guitar and keys thing isn't working out, do you have any other thing you think of that you can do to help this band, because if not, we don't have anything for you to do.

UnmagicMushroom
01-02-2011, 07:19 AM
I was kicked out of a band by some of my best friends like...just the other month or so. Just make sure that you tell him exactly why you think he shouldn't be part of the band anymore - and don't do it over an instant messaging program (that's how I was chucked out - spineless bastards!), do it face to face in a loving-bro-manly-manner lol; and if you guys are really close then your friendship should be more than just being part of a band. Maybe not being part of the band will give him more time to focus on ministry if that's what he really wants to do with himself.

Personally, I think keys are a great addition to a band and maybe if he's willing to take lessons or something that'll be rad. On the other hand, if his musical tastes differ to everyone else's that's gonna hold the rest of you guys back and based on that reasoning it's not going to be beneficial for everyone else's time and energy.


I'm still tight with my friends in the band and my "replacement" is a really awesome dude - I met him on New Year's Eve so we're all good and they're nice enough to set me up with another (more hardcore) band; hopefully that'll work out. :-)

Myshadow46_2
01-02-2011, 01:01 PM
It's a chance you take. He's preventing the band from getting better, simply because of his attitude (missing gigs\practice, refusing to learn certain songs etc.). If your friendship is strong enough then it'll be fine. If not, it'll be a shame, but you'll get over it.

SlackerBabbath
01-03-2011, 07:55 AM
You've dug yourself into a hole.
You have several choices, you could fire the first bassist and risk losing him as a friend, firing the second bassist and risk losing him as a friend or you could try to find a way for them both to stay in the band for the sake of friendship.

Obviously, because you are worried that the first guy will be 'mad' at you or 'hold any grudges', you already know, or at least have an inkling, that you are the cause of the current situation (by hiring another bassist before firing the first bassist) and that he would probably be justified in being angry with you. In other words, you deserve it if he's angry with you, so why bother to try to squirm out of any retribution you deserve?

Either fire the guy and put up with his deserved retribution, while at the same time doing right by the guy by ceasing to waste his time, or fire the guy that you shouldn't have hired because there wasn't yet an opening available for him (again putting up with his deserved retribution) or try to do right by both guys and make the lineup work as it now exists.

Fine, you're not working well with 3 guitars, yet. Other bands do well with three guitars, so it's obviously plausable, it just requires some hard work on your behalf.
And surely that's the least you could do to try to make up for your mistake?

hydraone
01-03-2011, 06:01 PM
*Knowledge*

I really like this guy.

SlackerBabbath
01-04-2011, 06:23 AM
I really like this guy.
:cheers:

It just pisses me off sometimes how some people come on here after doing something that's obviously stupid, like hiring two guys for one available place in a band for instance, and then ask us how they can weedle out of getting any flak for it... screw that, I say they deserve to get flak for it, it'll teach 'em not to do it again, certainly more than telling them how to weedle out of their responsibilities would anyway.

end/rant. :D

Punk_Ninja
01-04-2011, 08:35 AM
In my eyes you have three options, which have probably been said in a much more intelligent manner by someone else in this thread!

Kick him out. Though this causes problems. If you are good enough friends with him you shouldn't lose him as a friend (my bassist/drummer were once in a band, one got kicked, there was a month of problems, then they became best buds again and my band was then formed with them), but if you aren't as great friends there is a chance you'll lose him.

Keep him on keys doing simple stuff. You say you don't need keys, but, if you make him do a part that can easily be removed and would still sound alright with what you do, it doesn't matter if he ever skimps out on a gig or something, you'll keep him in, but it'll be a part which can be ignored.

Learn to be a 3 guitar band. This is probably the hardest, and depending on how you look at it, the most beneficial. As said before, three guitar players can work really well, but it is hard work.

Or the hidden fourth option:
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01113/SNN2603BEZ--280_1113372a.jpg

Make him be Bez! :p:

Mixing friends with your band can be an awkward problem if there are any arguments, I guess the fact that my band have become my friends and not the other way round, cos any band problems are sorted like a band as opposed to like how friends would, which is a bit more catastrophic! (as my bassist and drummer are friends they've occasionally duked stuff out in the practice studio, only semi-serious, but still).

SlackerBabbath
01-05-2011, 06:06 AM
Or the hidden fourth option:
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01113/SNN2603BEZ--280_1113372a.jpg

Make him be Bez! :p:



:haha: :haha: :haha:

Calymos
01-10-2011, 04:40 AM
You've dug yourself into a hole.
You have several choices, you could fire the first bassist and risk losing him as a friend, firing the second bassist and risk losing him as a friend or you could try to find a way for them both to stay in the band for the sake of friendship.

Obviously, because you are worried that the first guy will be 'mad' at you or 'hold any grudges', you already know, or at least have an inkling, that you are the cause of the current situation (by hiring another bassist before firing the first bassist) and that he would probably be justified in being angry with you. In other words, you deserve it if he's angry with you, so why bother to try to squirm out of any retribution you deserve?

Either fire the guy and put up with his deserved retribution, while at the same time doing right by the guy by ceasing to waste his time, or fire the guy that you shouldn't have hired because there wasn't yet an opening available for him (again putting up with his deserved retribution) or try to do right by both guys and make the lineup work as it now exists.

Fine, you're not working well with 3 guitars, yet. Other bands do well with three guitars, so it's obviously plausable, it just requires some hard work on your behalf.
And surely that's the least you could do to try to make up for your mistake?
That's pretty much exactly what you should listen to, OP.