Just Another Daydream EP
View Full Version :  Just Another Daydream EP
02-05-2011, 10:47 PM
So, I've basically planned out my first EP. This far, the title for it will be, as in the threadname, "Just Another Daydream". It will consist of an intro, four tracks and a bonus track. The intro and the four maintracks are to be prodused and recorded me, and the bonus track is already recorded in a separate studio.
I do not guarantee musical enlightment or progressive ideas evolving the world of music, simply music which fancies me and which I like writing. Hope you like it. :)
1. - Yeah (Usher Cover)
2. - Get Your Facts Right
3. - Solid Transparency
4. - Just Another Daydream
5. - Is It Just Me
6. - My Anguish (Bonus Track)
I'm polishing the tabs as we speak, but I will upload them as fast as possible.
I'd love to get some criticism on the tracks, and I promise I will return the favour as quickly as I can.
02-05-2011, 11:07 PM
02-05-2011, 11:28 PM
Aww jeez, meaning?
02-05-2011, 11:36 PM
meaning its not here
02-05-2011, 11:44 PM
Four of the tabs are up now, edited into the opening post. The Bonus Track "My Anguish" is not tabbed, and the last song "Is It Just Me" is being finished off at the moment. :)
02-06-2011, 12:00 AM
from the title of the album i thought the genre was going to be some sort of atmospheric ambient type music :shrug:
seeing as its a cover i cant say much about it for what its worth its a good cover. there should be more rhythm guitar perhaps. and a breakdown :D
i liked the intro but its was kind of a generic breakdown (people on UG might bash the shiot out of you for that?) but i like breakdowns no matter how simple or complex they are.
bar 9 didnt do much for me. i liked the clean guitars near the end of the song. they had a nice touch for the song
i dont have time to crit the others i'll get back to you later or something
EDIT forget that last part. i heard song 4 and just had to say i loved it. i didnt like the modulation bits though. like at 31, 71,76
02-06-2011, 12:11 AM
The rythm guitar will be emphasized a lot more in the mix, when it's recorded. Thanks for the praise! :)
@Track 2 crit;
They probably will. Though, the song is written with the intention of being kind of generic, but still not. I think me actually not turning to total clichés within the rest of the song justifies being generic in six bars as an intro. For me, some songs are written for high def experience at home, some songs are written simply to lose your mind to live. This one is aimed at the second mentioned. Thanks for the praise on the clean guitars, kinda satisfied with that part aswell. :)
@Track 4 crit;
Thanks man, 'preciate it. About the modulations, a lot of what my thoughts behind music is to make music people like, without it being on the expense of what I like. For me, the modulations work as a contrast to the rest of the songs more somber tone, seeing it's a major progression, not a minor. Though, not everything can suit everyone, huh? :)
Thanks for the comments, all in all! :)
02-06-2011, 01:58 AM
Track  Is It Just Me is uploaded in opening post. Cheers!
02-06-2011, 05:02 PM
I had a listen to Just Another Day Dream and I quite liked it. The chord progressions were good and I liked the rhythm, especially the chorus. Not too sure about the transition between the verse and chorus though. I didn't really like the lead though for the most part, especially the chorus too. The bridge was nice but I thought it was a bit unnecessary to have verse 3 happen again, or at least maybe you could do something more to the verse on the last time. I really liked the outro though, that flowed really nicely.
02-09-2011, 06:36 PM
Thanks for the crit, Seb1uk. The transition between verse and chorus sounds ALOT better with the vocal melodies, at least in my opinion. Hopefully you'll agree when it's recorded. :)
Exactly what about the lead melody wasn't working for you? :)
If it helps, they'll probably be a lot more ambient (at least in the verses) when its recorded. More like a pop-lead, than a punk-lead. If it makes any sense to you.
02-09-2011, 06:52 PM
Well it might just be me, but I just simply didn't like the lead melody. It felt a little annoying, the repeated pattern that is. I think it was due to the key change(I think?) from the verse to the chorus. But I'd suggest not to use the same note pattern as the verse for the chorus, or the start of the chorus at least. Maybe you can try coming up with a different lead melody for the chorus? Hope this helped.
02-09-2011, 08:03 PM
Did some major changes to the song right away, actually. Upload limit's at five, so I'm gonna put the V2 of "Just Another Daydream" in this post here. Tell me what you think?
Mean Mr Mustard
03-03-2011, 08:40 PM
Interesting intro, are you planning on having vocals over top? A screamed version of Ludacris' rap? :p Also, I really enjoy when intro tracks transition into the next track well. You could probably make it do this as long as you put a reverse cymbal in there at the very end of the intro track. Sometimes thats all it takes haha.
Anyways, on the editted version of Just Another Daydream:
The intro was great. So was the verse, Im just not sure about the drum track doing that closed hat - open hat rhythm. It fits the mood much better in my opinion to simply have them all closed hi-hats (42). The open high hat on the off beat can be a nice variation, but again, didnt really fit throughout the whole entire thing. The lead part behind it was okay, but I'd really like to hear a vocal melody over the verse, it could make it awesome!
The chorus was nice, it had a really happy feel to it compared to the verse. I didn't really like the lead part in bars 27 to 28 though. There isnt much melody either, but I assume the vocals will handle that throughout most of the song.
Bar 33 was a nice transition out of the chorus, but that drum part there was a huge letdown, Id go with a tom fill of sorts, and again that hi hat thing doesnt sound right for me here. Scratch that, the hi hat thing sounds like what Id go into after the lead comes in, but for the first 8 bars, I'd stay away from that open hi hat. Also, bar 41 is nice, so long as the vocals go through that break? That'd be pretty sweet.
The transition to the Bridge, while initially pretty poor, was actually not too bad. As long as vocals go throughout bar 49 (like just 4 quarter notes), then itd be okay. Also, I liked the lead parts here. Verse 3 was nice, with some vocals overtop would be okay. The lead parts were okay here too, and I liked the outro. Also, nice job on the pizzicato strings! I dont see that too much haha, I had an idea to use them once, but I must have forgotten to - I will try to now though hehe.
Overall your song - The song was nice, but will rely a lot on the vocals, so make sure that the vocals are strong, seeing as how there's not too much going on with the guitar department.
03-13-2011, 08:09 PM
Hey man! Thanks for the detailed crit on my EP, and sorry it took me so long to get back to you! I can see (from looking at your music) how my drums wouldn't have fit to you; our drumming "styles" just don't fit haha.
Yeah - well... it's Usher XD You should get some scream rapping.
Get Your Facts Right - My only real issue is that I feel like I've heard the whole song before... it just sounds so... samey as everything else. It's good, but it doesn't do anythign different. Very much a live song. Kinda reminds me of Winds of Plague without the orchestra. I can find no wrong with it, but also no good. It just doesn't appeal to me. The vocals probably make this track a lot better. Though, the outro is pretty good.
Solid Transparency - The first two chords sound like The Faceless :haha: But you went a COMPLETELY different route. They also sound like some Italian Prog Bands. The lead that comes is really good too. The distortion makes everything a lot better. Though, the chord in Bar 31 just sounds wrong. It just feels like an extension of the previous chord and throws off the mood. The drums make everything just a ton better. They really do. The transition at 56 was a bit rough. I'd try and smooth that with probably a Tom drum thing beforehand. The solo was a bit like Stutterfly. I enjoyed! At bar 115, add a small lead to it. It'll make the outro a bit more interesting, and just sound better. Nothing big, just a small, slow acoustic lead.
Is it Just Me - Soooo happy :haha: I'm liking it a lot so far. The triplets in the Pre-Chorus sound a bit weird though... The chorus itself reminds me a lot of New Found Glory. I liiiiike. Reminds me A LOOOOOT of some Pop-Punk stuff. Especially at the Bridge. Favorite song so far.
Now for the title track...
Just Another Day Dream - Good acoustic intro. Setting the mood nicely. I lol'd at the drums. They don't fit at all to me, they make me want to dance. I would definitely put the hi-hat on the beat, rather than on the "and" of the beat. Less techno-y. The chorus lacks power :/ It's missing something, but I can't put my finger on it. It's not like your other Chorus'. The Bridge just came out of nowhere. Reminds me of some Impressionist composers though... the progression is really nice. I love it. Outro wasn't bad. Though, for an ending track, I'd expect it to end with more power.
Overall, the EP wasn't bad. It's not my style though (as you probably knew). I enjoyed it as I listened, though. You come up with some good progressions. You could probably get signed with this stuff if you wanted ;)
8/10 (as a whole)
EDIT: oh, and no... my songs are going to stay Instrumental :haha: Probably for a long time.
03-13-2011, 09:27 PM
Thanks for a very good crit, DF! :)
Already taking your crits into action, and have added and subtracted some things here and there.
I'm gonna take the liberty to "answer" your crit, if you think thats ok;
As for Track 1, "Yeah";
Screams and shouts all over the place is the plan, though at the same time staying somewhat to true to the original.
As for Track 2, "Get Your Facts Right";
You pointed it out. The song is solely written for live mayhem. It's somewhat generic, not inventive, but it's gonna be packed with energy and agression. Vocals will carry alot of the character, of course.
As for Track 3, "Solid Transparency";
You were right. Changed the drums going into the chorus, flows a lot better now. :)
The 3rd chord in the chorus, mentioned as bar 31 - what is it exactly that makes it wrong? To me it was sort of the only choice to continue on, really. I sat a looong time trying to figure out were to go from bar 30, and ended up with the C# which is in there. Yes, it obviously works as a sort of extension, but I think it suits the song. You have every right to disagree, of course. Though, you might think of a better chord? Shout out if you do! :)
I added a small acoustic lead at 115, great idea. It made the outro just that much better.
Also made a fading tempo reduction for the last 6 beats, down to 90. Nice touch, in my opinion.
As for Track 4, "Just Another Daydream";
Not the ending track. Important thing here. Little story which might explain some of your questions. The four chords in the verse was something I made up a random afternoon, which really stuck my brain. It was catchy. So I decided to make it my sort of "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Heard it? Probably not. Long story short; the kind of pop/punk/hardcore-song all girls openly love, and all guys secretly sing in the shower.
The hihat IS on the beat, actually. Main hits on 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and small hits in between. What I kinda thought, was that the verse didn't flow all too well without the constant hihat, making it staccato. I might be terribly wrong, of course. Do you, by any chance, have a concrete idea?
What's missing in the chorus might be the vocals and proper instruments. Guitar Pro doesn't have the epic gift of mix/mastering dynamics. Really. I was thinking of dragging the verse way down, and the chorus way up - extreme contrasts.
You really nailed the whole idea behind the bridge. Originally, I repeated the verse, had a 2nd chorus, and then an outro. Though, I redid the whole second half to kinda do something different, and not expected. Something to remember the song by, seeing as the chords and progressions aren't really all that unique.
As for Track 5, "Is It Just Me";
It's way happy. Not kidding, I've only used chords that suit the Dmajor progression. Every chord in there is a note in that scale. The triplets actually sound a lot better on real instruments. Thanks for the praise though, I'm fairly happy with that song myself :D
So, conclusion; you made some valid points, and I'm uploading the remade version "Solid Transparency" in this post.
Also, I'm gonna upload the last track for that EP, which I recently finished. It's the ending track, a proper closer. Hopefully you'd be kind and crit that aswell?
That's the track called "2HC".
And thanks for the part about getting signed, that's actually the best way to measure an EP/LP - potential for success in the industry. Cheers dude! :)
Mean Mr Mustard
03-13-2011, 10:11 PM
Hey man, Im gonna crit your closer song "2 HC"
Intro - I loved your buildup up until "March". The only thing I can think of to improve would be to change the first four bars of the guitar, since it just plays that one chord. On bar 3, you should add in that G note on the D string, like you do in bars 7-8. "Drama" was awesome, I loved it when it came in, but it would even better with a harmony guitar :p
Verse A - Harsh transition in my opinion, maybe have a distorted guitar let a chord ring into it?
Pre-Chorus/Chorus - was very epic, very nice. Personally, Id call the Pre-chorus a Chorus, and the Chorus a Post-Chorus, because when I think of a Pre-chorus, it kinda settles in between a chorus's intensity and a verse's intensity you know? But anyways, these sections were both nice.
Verse B - was nice again, however, I feel it contrasts too much from the previous bar and needs a better transition, even if its just the guitars ending on a chord and letting it ring.
Interlude - nice job, makes me really want to use some pizzicato strings in my songs. (that just gave me a brainblast). Nice transition into the Chorus as well (which was great again)
Bridge - Was very good, I thought it could use a catchy vocal line though, do you mind if I throw one in? The second part would be cool with some chants over top of it, was that what you were planning to do?
Outro - This was REALLY good. Loved the vocal line, and the strings part at the end.
Overall - Overall, this is a nice song you got, and a perfect song to close an album or EP to. Well done on this one, basically anything I saw was just a minor error or something. If you want to see my corrections, Ill attach my edit of it, you can look at it or discard it, whatever. My file includes a guitar harmony, a vocal line for Bridge A, and transitions to the Verses.
03-13-2011, 10:37 PM
Nice edits, man! Especially the transitions was hugely helpful, though I set them to 3 beats intstead - gave a better flow in my opinion. :)
The vocal line in the Bridge was really nice. Made some slight changes, but kept the main frame. Will deffo be adding som voice harmonies to them aswell. Awesome idea.
The lead harmony just makes the song even "bigger" - which is kinda the point. Good idea.
I'll be sure to add you in the in credits for this song when the EP is recorded and such. As for everyone else who has helped to crit the songs - if you want your name in my thanks list, just tell, I'd be happy to. :)
03-14-2011, 12:01 AM
Here are the versions of your songs with what I would do with the drums (in your style), and the chord I would use. I only changed the first verse and first chorus, respectively. Onto the next song!
Intro -> Band: Alright, a bit repetitive, but it's building up the tension...
Drama: And a great release this is. I would turn up the lead though. It's kind of drowned in the mix.
A: Wonderful. One of your best sections yet. This is definitely the most creative thing I've heard from you yet.
Pre-Chorus: Sounds like a chorus to me... but I love the piano.
Chorus: Sounds like asian songs! I love the melody. It's wonderful. I do agree with Mr. Mustard up there... Pre-chorus is more chorusy than the chorus is, and the Chorus is veyr Post-Chorusy.
B: Nice changes.
Interlude A: Very nice. I love how you use the Pizzicato Strings. Keep it up, you use them NICE
" "B: Nice changes to the previous section. Adds a lot to it.
Bridge A: I enjoy it a lot. Even the higher chords, which usually bother me a lot, don't that much.
Bridge B: Fantastic. I love this section. Asking for a solo. For sure.
Outro: Wonderful. I think it'd be good if you had the lead in the chorus going during here... I'm gonna see what that sounds like... I think a fade-out would be a better end. It could be symbolic too, as if they never stopped marching (even though it says they do...).
Overall, a GREAT closing song. Best on the EP, for sure. My favorite from you. I really don't have much to crit other than what's been said. Good job.
(And yes, I know "Your Guardian Angel" by RJA ;) I've seen 'em a couple times live! Good show)
03-14-2011, 09:15 AM
Thanks for a wonderful crit, DF. :)
Bridge B is intended as a transition and kind of a storyteller. If you look at the vocal track, it's noted lyrics for that. Marching soldiers, type. Shouting gunny-type of thing.
The lead from the Chorus didn't fit in the outro, in my opinion. Just doesn't suit how I want the track to end, if you know what I mean.
I'll upload the more or less final version of the song in this post, feel free to take a look. :)
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