Can I get some input, please? GP5


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mardisaaron
02-12-2011, 07:10 PM
So I've been slowly working on this piece for the past couple of months. It's currently not finished yet even though it has an "abrupt" ending. If you guys could just give me some input on what you like or dis like about the piece. It would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Aaron

mardisaaron
02-13-2011, 11:49 PM
bump

~Flounder~
02-14-2011, 05:24 AM
OK,

You mentioned youve been "slowly working on this piece for the past couple of months". I have had songs like that where I start an idea and can't seem to finish it when I want to. The WORST thing to do is to try and force the song to completion...it will always be bad. Not that I'm saying thats what you did, but a word of warning that it took me a long time to learn :)

so it sounds like the song is really two sections that you're trying to combine into one. They go together well, and the whole "acoustic/lead intro going straight into an upbeat riff" isn't a problem. However, each of the individual sections needs alot of work.

the Acoustic (intro) track is cool, although too repetitive. it does go into different bass notes eventually, but it seems like it needs more variety in the chord formations if that makes any sense. Maybe even try throwing in a different rhythm or making the notes into 2 or 3 note chords. Also the harmony with a second acoustic guitar is a good idea, but it only goes for 4 measures then randomly stops.....are you planning on developing that at all, or continuing the harmony in some way?

The guitar solo is GOOD. Not horrible, not awesome, but good. It has some potential, and a nice (but not very defined melody) in the first half. Try developing or lengthening it more because right now it just sounds like a random solo that comes from nowhere and doesn't really go anywhere. What is the point of the solo at this time in the song: to lead into the next section? to show off guitar skillz? just for fun? hard to tell. Also the second half of the solo seems a bit rushed. Go through it slowly and take out all the parts that you aren't really happy with (which should be at least some of them) and fix them later. It's not horrible, just could be executed better. also NEVER EVER put the volume of a track to 16 in guitar pro. I almost died when the guitar first came in it was so loud. If you really want to make it that prominent in a song just turn the other tracks down instead of the solo one up :). also you can use F10 in gp to open up the mix table and add in volume changes (like guitar vol 10 -> 16 for a solo) then add in another one at the end of the solo

I was listening to the guitar solo and thinking about where the melody could go and then all of a sudden BAM WTF OOOOOOH. The next section was really loud and unexpected haha, scared the S*** out of me. I like the chord progression, and measures 28-33 were pretty much spot on.

however, nothing really changes from measure 33 to 54. The riff is cool and has lots of potential for spin off riffs and sections, but the song really can't be what it is now. I would repeat this chord progression 2, 4, maybe even 8 times. But it absolutely has to go somewhere else, you can't just play the same thing over and over.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I'm just typing as I listen and am trying to help you start developing the song into what it really can be. I'm not going to give it a score out of 10, because I would argue this isn't quite a song yet. It is an intro riff, and a catchy chorus-like progression, both of which have a lot of potential to be expanded upon to create the full thing. look at some other songs on the forum to see how different people arrange similar riffs and melodies n such into full songs, that way you can get some ideas and maybe inspiration on where to take the song.

sorry to ramble. to recap, it has potential but right now is really only two riff/ideas. Work on adding variety and maybe a few new "parts" to the song to take it from idea stage to song stage :)

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1412145

corrda00
02-16-2011, 09:52 PM
Wow.
Sickness man.

LOVE the leads, they are so tasteful and catchy.

the only problems I foresee is the acoustic in the intro sounds kinda lacking. Maybe continue with that 2nd acoustic idea or add more of a bassline through fingerpicking. Maybe make the chord more definate.

Bar 28 and on rocks.

The last bar killed me. Its like all my hopes and dreams were shattered in 4 notes.

Also great bass part, It would be great if it was played on a bass, ie: down an octave :P.
Ive included a file with a transposed bassline.

crit for crit?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1412720