New Prog Metal Song :D [GP5, C4C]


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Mean Mr Mustard
02-14-2011, 09:33 PM
Hey guys. This song by me is definitely more djent-y than I have been in my recent songs, giving it more of a djent-y prog metal feel than the post-hardcore feel Ive been going for. So Ive taken that feeling and gave it a "happy" vibe, with some influences from classic rock and other non-metal stuff. I was hesitant about posting this; I wrote it last week or so, but now I think I could improve a lot and make it a nice song, so Id like to know how to improve it/what you guys think of it. Thanks ;)

Also, I know the vocals/lyrics may be shitty, I didnt spend too much time on them as I wouldve liked to. I tried to give the guitars room to breathe, so the vocals may be scarce. Im not sure whether I need more vocals, or I should take them out entirely.

Tell me if you cant open it. Peace. :p:

EDIT: New version up now as of 2-15-2011

365_days_gone
02-14-2011, 09:53 PM
Not that I dont appreciate your modesty, but seriously...what could possibly be approved upon here? This is seriously fantastic music! This is just downright creative, inventive and fantastic music. The one thing that caught me though was the open B string on the electric guitar sounds wrong...doesnt sound like the correct note for the rest of the music. But then again it kind of does sound like it work with what the other instruments are playing. Im not sure...

But this is perfectly crafted! Good job. :)

BigBigWater
02-14-2011, 10:25 PM
So, normally I'd give a section by section crit and all, but I'm pretty confident in telling you that that was rather breathtaking in in stature and I have no major suggestions. That was just amazing, and that's about all, haha.

Only little things is, like 365_days_gone said, I feel the open notes during the 'Djent in' feel a bit odd, and the vocals as you said feel a bit slow and not extremely fitting. I think it could work instrumental or could work with vocals, either way. Just, if there were to be vocals, be careful not to take away from the feeling of everything else.

I actually smiled during some of this, so I succeeded at happy, too, haha. Peace is my favorite section, it flows in so well and just feels utterly perfect.

If you wanna C4C something of miiine, try Night in my sig, I don't think I got any feedback on it still..

Danul454
02-14-2011, 10:33 PM
I won't be giving one of my super epic reviews today cuz I have nothing to C4C, but here goes:


Atmospheric Keys: Sounds pretty good, it's nice to hear some major-y stuff here now and then

Guitar Licks/Acoustic Backing: Still good. I like how the guitar sorta seems like a background instrument, but still the subject of the song at this point, Iunno, it sounds cool :p:

Drums n Bass in: I like this, too, the harmonic between the two lead guitars reminds me of Donkey Kong Country's underwater music, which still remains some of my favorite.

Djent in: The super-low tuned guitars sound kinda weird with the rest of the song, but the melodies played in between each lil gallop thing sound good.

Rest Out: Sounds a little sudden, and I really didn't like the vocals much here, and realized I never even noticed that there were vocals till now, so I think the song could do without them. Not a recommendation, really, just an option. Other than those, it sounded alright, the open Es sounded a little too low for the rest going on to me.

Peace: Vocals improve here, so I can't really suggest keeping or getting rid of them. I like the calm breakdown thing goin' on here, and the harmonics and errything. Nothing really to improve necessarily but I was sorta wanting a harmonized bend like at 65 at 101.

And Love: Nothing really significant I can hear here. I'm guessing this was intended to give the singer the spotlight for a bit?

Clean Break: Like it, especially the electronic drum kit, you seem to do those really well.

Build-up: Good job with the bass here. I really appreciate a good lead bass.

Transition: Honestly wasn't my favorite. I think it mighta been the oboe vocals. Or maybe it's the notes. Either way, though, it's definitely the vocals that are bothering me.

Pre-Djent Final: Pretty good. Simple, but still epic-feeling.

Happy Djent Final: Seems pretty similar to Pre-Djent Final.

Harmonized Tapped Polymeter Outro/Fade: Nice n Epic Outro.

Begin Piano Outro: Very good job here, too. Seemed a lil short but thats awright.


Oh my, I appear to have written another epic review ;) but that's not really a problem, I enjoy your music, honestly. You seem to have a unique style what with your use of delay like it's nobody's bidness and your tracks...I dunno, all your tracks like seem like they'd be really hard to memorize cuz they seem to sorta be all over the place, but in a good way, it all blends together excellently, causing a sort of atmospheric sound. Anyway, the end. 9/10 cuz of some weird vocals and Bs.

Mean Mr Mustard
02-14-2011, 11:34 PM
Thanks guys! So the chugged B's sound a little weird in guitar pro, but they sounded okay when I did it on guitar...still, Ill go back and try to see if I should be playing a different note there. Also, Danul, I wasnt sure about those vocals at the transition either, but I thought they only sounded strange because I added them in last and it changed the mood of the song there hehe. But, if anyone else says anything, I will probably change them, and I might change them anyways. And BigBigWater, yeah, Ill take a look at Night for ya!

EDIT: Oh and Dunal, I agree with the vocals at Rest Out, but I think they would sound much better if sung...its probably just the MIDI oboe sound clashing with the MIDI guitar sound.

frankibo
02-15-2011, 07:21 AM
As much as the intro was well written I didn't really enjoy until Rest Out.
From then on though it was a masterpiece. Your combination of classic rock leads, djenty riffs and post hardcore layers created something really special. I'm also very jealous of how good your vocal parts are, they seem to come quite easily to you and they always impress me.
One criticism I do have, however, is that your djenty riff aren't very djenty, that aren't poly-rhythmic and often contain quite prediction note durations and positions. Otherwise the riffs themselves are enjoyable, I'm just not sure whether I would call them djent, but that's really just me being pedantic, it doesn't detract from the brilliance of the song in any way.
Basically, this piece was very beautiful and also very unique. Classic-progressive-post-djent-core might catch on.

Mean Mr Mustard
02-15-2011, 12:53 PM
As much as the intro was well written I didn't really enjoy until Rest Out.
From then on though it was a masterpiece. Your combination of classic rock leads, djenty riffs and post hardcore layers created something really special. I'm also very jealous of how good your vocal parts are, they seem to come quite easily to you and they always impress me.
One criticism I do have, however, is that your djenty riff aren't very djenty, that aren't poly-rhythmic and often contain quite prediction note durations and positions. Otherwise the riffs themselves are enjoyable, I'm just not sure whether I would call them djent, but that's really just me being pedantic, it doesn't detract from the brilliance of the song in any way.
Basically, this piece was very beautiful and also very unique. Classic-progressive-post-djent-core might catch on.
Haha yeah, but its hard to put a concrete difinition on "djent" anyways, I just used elements of bands that are referred to as "djent", such as the slap bass, the palm muted and the low string chugs...but anyways, thanks you man, i appreciate it as always :)

~Flounder~
02-15-2011, 05:01 PM
Hey dude, thanks for your song crit earlier. Very helpful.

before I go through the sections, I just want to say some overall things I noticed. 1) I'm definitely picking up on some dream theater vibes...just the way the synths vox and guitars mesh reminds me of learning to live, octavarium, etc. Also I was suprised, I think this is the first song I have seen up here that starts off with a key solo o_0 sweet

From the intro of the song to the vox in, it's pretty much awesome. I'm not saying I wouldn't write things differently or anything...but you have a unique sound going and there's really nothing wrong there to be "fixed". I also want to mention that although the lyrics/vocals aren't exactly a style I would like to listen to on a regular basis (I'm more of a metal guy), they flow very naturally with the song and its obvious that you put time and effort into the metre and poetic element of it.

Like "Peace" alot, had a great mood to it. The drum cymbal hits and sustained/ring guitar arpeggios really make it shine.

"And Love" is really cool too. It sounds happy and triumphant esp with the church organ, but the root bm chord gives is a strong, yet dark undertone. Maybe not fitting with "peace and love" but I would rather than the music sound good than the words and arrangements make sense :)

Clean break is ok...I'm not usually one for breaks (although apparently they go good in songs lol) and the glitch drums will be epic once actually played on a "real" instrument. I like how the transition utilizes a *similar* key lead track as in the very beginning of the song.

Just one thing, I honestly think that in measures 146-177 that straight 16th clean guitar part sounds horrible. Like really horrible. I can't imagine when you would want to do that unless you're playing like accordion music or something lol. Just a personal preference though haha.

Not really much to say on the rest of the song. It features more layered versions of the previous riffs, and overall sounds really good. One thing I would mention is the keyboard/rhodes piano track 193-233. It helps to add fullness to the song, but no keyboard player would ever want to play that for that long unless they really sucked. Its sort of boring and I would feel insulted if someone wanted me to play that in front of people live. Good job on the piano outro...it seems that every once in a while you see a piano outro like this on the forum, and this is one of the few I have seen and not instantly gotten pissed off at. I could actually imagine someone sitting at a piano and playing this (i.e. its actually piano music, and not just numbers on a screen) and it actually follows some of the normal, conventional methods of piano music.

Overall a cool song, has some really nice vibes to it (esp towards the middle). Would love to hear a real version of it. My only real complaint is that if you were ever to make a real version of this song, the keyboard parts would need some major revisions. Not in the sense that the notes are wrong or anything, just that as they stand they are very simple and minimalist, and an actual synth player would want more variety and challenging things to play. Also the piano outro, while pretty good for a forum of guitar players, is the weakest part musically in the song and could be spiced up :)

Mean Mr Mustard
02-15-2011, 05:42 PM
Just one thing, I honestly think that in measures 146-177 that straight 16th clean guitar part sounds horrible. Like really horrible. I can't imagine when you would want to do that unless you're playing like accordion music or something lol. Just a personal preference though haha.

Not really much to say on the rest of the song. It features more layered versions of the previous riffs, and overall sounds really good. One thing I would mention is the keyboard/rhodes piano track 193-233. It helps to add fullness to the song, but no keyboard player would ever want to play that for that long unless they really sucked. Its sort of boring and I would feel insulted if someone wanted me to play that in front of people live. Good job on the piano outro...it seems that every once in a while you see a piano outro like this on the forum, and this is one of the few I have seen and not instantly gotten pissed off at. I could actually imagine someone sitting at a piano and playing this (i.e. its actually piano music, and not just numbers on a screen) and it actually follows some of the normal, conventional methods of piano music.

Overall a cool song, has some really nice vibes to it (esp towards the middle). Would love to hear a real version of it. My only real complaint is that if you were ever to make a real version of this song, the keyboard parts would need some major revisions. Not in the sense that the notes are wrong or anything, just that as they stand they are very simple and minimalist, and an actual synth player would want more variety and challenging things to play. Also the piano outro, while pretty good for a forum of guitar players, is the weakest part musically in the song and could be spiced up :)
Thanks for the crit, it helped a lot! To go off what you said, the sixteenth note clean guitar part does sound pretty shitty here, but Ive heard that done before (like in plenty of Post-hardcore), and I can assure you itd sound a little better in real life, with some effects over top. And on the keyboardist playing that riff over and over, youre right haha, it would suck recording that (although I imagine it could be looped), but I think playing would be a little tricky considering theres 4 keyboard parts there, so the keyboardist would have to play the rhodes part with one hand and then play either the strings part or the keyboard part with the other. Wouldnt be too bad in my opinion (and also, a singer/keyboardist would be ideal). Also, I will try to spice up the piano outro as well. Thanks for the help!

Dio10101
02-15-2011, 05:54 PM
I can't open it. I've never been able to open your files, and it makes me sad, since I wanna hear your music. Is there any way you could start posting them in .gp5 format?

Mean Mr Mustard
02-15-2011, 06:00 PM
I can't open it. I've never been able to open your files, and it makes me sad, since I wanna hear your music. Is there any way you could start posting them in .gp5 format?
Haha sorry, theyre too big, but I could see if the GP4 files will attach. EDIT: No, sorry, theyre too big for UG's file limit as well. If you are really interested, I could send you it by email or something like that though, just PM me.
This track has so many amazing layers/dimensions to it that it's hard to even begin critting this. Really great work all round.
Thanks Kyle :D

kyl1989
02-15-2011, 08:09 PM
This track has so many amazing layers/dimensions to it that it's hard to even begin critting this. Really great work all round.

Peres.T.Peanut
02-18-2011, 03:28 PM
This wont be easy to crit, but I'll do my best.

First of all, I don't really like djent for its majority. That being said, grouping this in any sub-genre is taking a lot from the song (my english isn't so great, but hopefully you understand what I mean :P).

The intro is ****ing beautiful...it really takes you to places, especially when the guitars come in.
The atmosphere feels the same throgh the whole song, which is great. I don't know the band that well to be saying this, but it recalled me BTBAM (once again, not a bad thing).

this WILL be biased, but if the djent parts weren't djent, it could be better, but its good as it is so I'd leave it be.I just wasn't too found of those B chugga chugga parts.

Overall, everything in this track seems perfect, at least, the way it all comes together feels like it. If you ever record this thing with real instruments, PLEASE let me know. this is ****ing brilliance.

thank you for sharing.

carldw1988
03-02-2011, 06:13 PM
First off i'll just have to say i muted the vocal track cos i don't like vocal tracks in guitar pro so my comments won't be inclusive of that.

....Anyways, i've got to say that was honestly the best thing i've heard from anyone on here, all parts worked beautifully together and flowed perfectly. If i was to find a criticism it would be that there wasn't any one melody to latch on to (I know there are a few in the vocals but nothing that stands out). I get the whole through-composed thing and probably after a few listens you could get a feel for the song, and to be fair its probably what you were trying to go for, and with vocals would help guide the song, its just from a listen it seems to lack an overall direction...but thats a much more minor criticism than im making it sound, it really is an amazing epic/ambient/prog/metal song.

Majin Gaara
03-09-2011, 05:30 PM
Okay so let's get things started:


Measures 1 - 37

Right off the bat there's an interesting chord progression going on with the keys. That's cool, a very subtle and gentle way to bring in a melodic theme or a phrase. Kudos!
I'm loving the delay you put in on the clean guitar. I've always been a big fan for effects, (Delay and reverb, especially) so it's cool to hear that in there because it totally gives this piece an atmosphere already. I like the colors this song is painting so far!


Measures 38 - 53


The coolness continues, but with an added acoustic guitar?!
Now this part does stand out a little more than the past 2 sections just because a acoustic guitar is involved now, painting colors on it's palette with it's licks.
One thing I'd change up is what the acoustic guitar is playing.
It'd be cool to see it arpeggiating what the Synth is doing instead of just playing lead
because it's starting to sound similar, just adding in instruments as the piece goes along. Arpeggiating might even give it a little more flavor to the part as well as it will add a whole new dimension in


Measures 54 - 85


Going through 2 more sections, now. You've thrown in some bass and drums and decided to djent things up a little, aye? Very nice. I really like the melody contrasting between just these 2 parts. It's very cool. The bass and drum part brings in the band and crafts a melody. But then, The Djent part comes in and takes it somewhere else completely different, but still keeps the drive and melody of the song in it's own way. Totally cool! I love all the layers of music you have going on, more kudos for that!


The best thing to do (imo) is to always add layers so that way your piece of music is lush and full of voice and melody.


Measures 86 - 97


Everything going on musically is sweet, and it fits. The guitar part I dig, especially. Very cool. However: I totally hear a tribal drum part going on in these measures. Maybe it's just my animalistic tetosterone driven hormones, but shit. I think some sort of tom pattern on the drums would really bring this part out to life. Not to make it heavy, but to make it more exciting!


Measures 98 - 137


Wow. So very melodic. Lots of parts, lots of melodies, pretty much a mini orchestra! Haha. Bravo my good sir, this is a fantastic section you have going on! As well as the section following after this! These measures are filled with genius, that's for sure!

There's so much going on, the bass lines are sweet. I'm digging the entire 2 sections. really cool melody and harmony contrasts. I have nothing to add to this section, other than the fact of saying that personally, these 2 sections are masterful.


Measures 138 - 169


interesting choices in the instrumentation. This section makes for a good transition period, in the piece. It leaves to feel as if you're wondering and that something is setting in, but not sure what (Build Up).

The only thing I'd do to this piece, is write some sort of string part to this that follows the main melody, and have it crescendo throughout the entire section so that way it gives the listener the impression that the buildup is really getting bigger and it's swelling to give way to a new section. Great part!


Measures 170 - 209


You've accomplished something I've always wanted to do and probably have to some people on some of my work: You've crafted a perfect bridge between the chorus and the verse. Something I always struggle with. Great job! The transition works perfectly. It pulls you right in to the chorus.

Speaking of chorus, beautiful work on the guitars. Then the harmonizing makes it even more flavorful. Not much to critique again really, this is a well written part!


Measures 210 - 233

I'm gonna say this part needs another guitar in it. Something that would derive off the main melody. Something to be played mid-neck and that would carry the listener through this part under the slide and tapped lead. That'd really be cool to hear. Other than that, this part stays solid and consistent, bringing me right to the outro


Measures 234 - End

I like the piano idea. Cool way to alter the instrumentation and have a bigger sound by bringing other instruments in to carry on the song. Great ending too, The melody gently lifts from the songs mainframe and just slowly drifts away, and takes the listener with. Great composition!

Mean Mr Mustard
03-09-2011, 06:10 PM
Majin Gaara: Yeah, I really appreciate you looking into my song, especially in such an in-depth fashion. Honestly, you dont realize how much I appreciate that! You brought up some nice points as well, and to address some of them: that acoustic part in bars 38-53 was sort of a lead line dueling the lead guitar, but also to play the chords, and it kinda gets lost in there, so I didnt look much into it, maybe it needs to be toned down or spiced up with arpeggios. Also, for the ending section with the two guitars harmonizing, I would love to add a guitar, but it seems that 5 guitars would just be too much haha. Ill certainly see if I alter the keyboards though to provide something more than just a backing section for this part. As for everything else, its all being taken into consideration, and thanks for the compliments, they are very well appreciated :). Thank you for looking at it!

Majin Gaara
03-09-2011, 06:51 PM
Not a problem at all. I enjoy listening to and critiquing good music. Especially when it's so good that it rarely even has any critiques :D (hence, your composition, lol)

I'll be reviewing a few more of your pieces as well. I like your style of writing a lot, by the way. Very "outside the box" kinda stuff. :cool:

Erra93
03-10-2011, 06:34 AM
I love it... I just love it, it's so perfect :'(

How long have you been playing? :)

Shaharz
03-10-2011, 01:59 PM
Awesome shit, man.

You're really one of my favorite UG composerts :cheers:

Mean Mr Mustard
03-10-2011, 02:07 PM
Not a problem at all. I enjoy listening to and critiquing good music. Especially when it's so good that it rarely even has any critiques :D (hence, your composition, lol)

I'll be reviewing a few more of your pieces as well. I like your style of writing a lot, by the way. Very "outside the box" kinda stuff. :cool:
Thanks, appreciated!
Awesome shit, man.

You're really one of my favorite UG composerts :cheers:
Haha thanks man, Im glad to hear that, it makes my day :D
I love it... I just love it, it's so perfect :'(

How long have you been playing? :)
Aw damn thank you man! Ive been playing guitar for around 6 years, and writing seriously for about 3 years

Erra93
03-10-2011, 03:57 PM
Thanks, appreciated!

Haha thanks man, Im glad to hear that, it makes my day :D

Aw damn thank you man! Ive been playing guitar for around 6 years, and writing seriously for about 3 years

Well you're really talented, that's for sure :)

DiminishedFifth
03-13-2011, 07:37 PM
Hey man, sorry for taking so long to get back to your crit! I'll preface this by saying I liked it a lot. It's got a bit of a repetition issue to me, but other than that it's great.

Crit:

The first thing I'd do is change the String Ensemble to String Ensemble 2. It's softer and it transitions a lot better. Not NEAR as harsh. The leads in the beginning are good, but the intro goes on too long with too little change for my tastes. When the drums come in it's a lot better. But it still doesn't grab my attention. I like how you use the Classic Rock elements to spice up the PHC elements. Very nice.

Rest Out - This is where it starts getting really good for me. The riff is really nice, and the vocal melody is good (but I dislike vocals on GP).

Peace - Beautiful. Really reminds me of a rock ballad. Especially once the lead comes in. Very well done.

And Love - A really nice place to go. The organ is a little overpowering though. It muddies things up a bit. I like your basslines though! Very well done.

Clean Break - Fantastic. I love your use of electronic drums. Everything here is perfect. I literally have nothing to say :haha:

Pre-djent Final: I love it. the choir pad is a bit loud though when it comes in. I'd turn it down. "Happy" is a nice change. All the layers really make it "thick". Makes it push through. The tapping polymeter stuff kinda bothers me cause it's making a polychord which doesn't sound too good here. It clashes after about 2 cycles. I would, personally, not do the polymeter.

The piano outro was really nice. Was that melody just an ending one, or was it somewhere else in the song? I didn't see it at all, but it should have been! That would made the outro that much better.

Overall, it's a REALLY good song. Makes me a little warm inside. I really wouldn't call it djent though, you just kinda used it a little bit rather than a lot. Peace And Love were great as was everything else... just the intro drags on a bit too long, and some mixing stuff muddies.

9/10!

Mean Mr Mustard
03-13-2011, 09:39 PM
Hey man, sorry for taking so long to get back to your crit! I'll preface this by saying I liked it a lot. It's got a bit of a repetition issue to me, but other than that it's great.

Crit:Overall, it's a REALLY good song. Makes me a little warm inside. I really wouldn't call it djent though, you just kinda used it a little bit rather than a lot. Peace And Love were great as was everything else... just the intro drags on a bit too long, and some mixing stuff muddies.

9/10!
Hey, thanks man, Im really glad you gave it a listen, and Im really really glad you gave your thoughts as well. Anyways, I'm glad that most were minor things I can go back and fix (and thanks for those too!). Ill just have to work on that intro, either by shortening it or spicing it up somehow. Also, no that piano melody wasnt played earlier, maybe Ill put it in the Intro or something :D

tomas_almeida
03-16-2011, 09:07 AM
Let me start saying that I absolutely love this. And I don't find it very "djenty" at all (and I do love some djent stuff), I find it a lot more "post-rockish".

The intro and the way it builds up is amazing, I love the harmonic context you chose for the tune, and it really is well introduced here.

The first "djenty" guitar riffs are a bit unnecessary, they end up spoiling the spectacular atmosphere that is being created by the rest of the track. It's just so good that the "heaviness" ends up not helping it a lot. Because of this, i think Rest OUt is a bit "meh".

Peace + And Love is (again) fantastic, following on the mentioned post-rock soundscape.

The clean break is a typical djent electronic break, but with a lot more creativity involved. A lot better that your typical Peryphery clean break, and on par with Animals As Leaders.

The Transition is very good.

Pre Djent final is very very good. The slap bass fits well but I feel like the bassline is a bit too repetitive/bland. It should be written by a bass player because of the percussive aspect and the fills that could be added (it would make it sound fresher). I can try to change it a little, if you'd like, when I have the time (I'm a bassplayer).

From the final up to the end it's just flawless.

9.5/10, really the type of music I would listen to!

Check out my thread: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1422052

EDIT: Apparently, the link that I had put in my thread wasn't working, so I uploaded the file in a zip.

Mean Mr Mustard
03-16-2011, 05:22 PM
The clean break is a typical djent electronic break, but with a lot more creativity involved. A lot better that your typical Peryphery clean break, and on par with Animals As Leaders.
Pre Djent final is very very good. The slap bass fits well but I feel like the bassline is a bit too repetitive/bland. It should be written by a bass player because of the percussive aspect and the fills that could be added (it would make it sound fresher). I can try to change it a little, if you'd like, when I have the time (I'm a bassplayer)

9.5/10, really the type of music I would listen to!

Hey thanks for the crit. I appreciate the bolded part haha that made me feel good. As for the bass parts, I have a bass but I wouldnt really consider myself a bassist, Im sure I could improve in that department. Anyways, I would love to see what you could do, so if you want to give it a shot, that'd be awesome. Ill crit your song later, currently my computer with guitar pro has a virus.

tomas_almeida
03-16-2011, 05:40 PM
No problem. I have an exam tomorrow (GMT time here), but I'll tackle that challenge as soon as I have the time.

blake1221
03-17-2011, 08:37 PM
It felt like this was the Selkies Calm Section Part II hahaha

Everyone's touched on all parts of the song, but really really great work man. That was something.

whalepudding
03-18-2011, 02:37 AM
This was bloody good.

The intro was very peaceful, but it truly started to amaze me at "drums n bass in". The creative drum beat under the very beautiful guitar melodies and soundscapiness reminded me heavily of Devin Townsend's Voices in the Fan. And the bends that Guitars 1 and 2 really make this section perfect.

And I realise I always compare your songs to Devy, and no-one else does. :haha: Still it reminds me of him partly because, despite being heavy complicated music, it's full of memorable melodic hooks, and I'd feel more comfortable staring wide-eyed and entranced than headbanging.

And I have to say it was a while before I noticed the vocals. They weren't what I was listening to at all. In the "djent in" section the highlight was the guitar melodies and the drums. The vocals were perfectly fine, but not what made it great. If you do end up using the vocals, I'd suggest putting them in the background, shoegaze-style.

Peace was fantastic. I have no idea how you're able to have those continuous, unrepeating guitar melodies sounding so melodically perfect.

"And love" was good, but I started disliking the vocals around here. They're doing the least interesting things out of all the instruments. This bit reminded me of a Guns n Roses ballad, which is fine, but it's such a step down from the beauty of the earlier sections IMO. The melodies are a bit slow and droning, as well. Although I guess it depends a lot on how they're sung.

Pre-djent final onwards is incredibly fantastic and I loved it. I think you're at your best at those sort of multi-layered, mid-tempo, bombastic soundscapey bits. I feel at this point you've built up all this momentum and lulled me into a trance, one off note could ruin everything, but everything is perfect. I loved the djenty riff underneath it as well, it makes it that much more powerful.

Anyway, yes. I loved it and it was brilliant. I know you've had 100 crits at this point, but any chance you could look at Centrepiece (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1420311), a pretentious thing I shat out, if you get the time? Cheers.

Mean Mr Mustard
03-18-2011, 02:59 PM
Blake, thanks for the Selkies comment, thats about the best compliment you could give to a BTBAM fan hahaha

Whalepudding, thanks for the crit, I really appreciate it! Also, strangely, I havent really ever listened to Devin before. I guess you mean his solo career, Ive listened to one or two songs, I guess I could see the similarities (from what I remember). For the vocals, I have this idea in my head where they sound all majestic and powerful, so it doesnt really come off as power ballad type vocals to me, I hope they dont turn out like Axl's vocals... :mad: haha, Ill be sure to crit your song. Ive already listened to it, so I can say its great, Ill try to expand on that later though.

tomas_almeida
03-18-2011, 05:07 PM
I tried to change the basline in that slap bass part like I had told I would, but, as I listened to it again, it's not simple and uninteresting at all! It's actually very tasteful! I don't know what lead me to say that it was bland, because now, just after having listened to it, I feel it sits just the way it should be supposed to.

davyyy
06-04-2011, 03:33 PM
Im not really a prog metal fan at all, but this one's pretty good I must say, I love the atmospheric sound you have going on, and the kind of hmm new age-ish sound you have in the riffs, it doesnt just sound like typical boring prog metal that a thousand generic bands are doing, you actually put originality in it :P and the piano outro was really a nice piece too, it really ended it perfectly.
This probably isnt the best crit because its not typically what Im used to haha, but I did enjoy it :)