Death'n'Roll-ish attempt (GP5, C4C)


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02-16-2011, 07:45 AM
This is my still very sketchy attempt at Death 'n' Roll. Please crit :peace:

02-16-2011, 09:34 PM
That is a heavy song you got there man.

The first tip I have, and part of this is me being a bassist, I feel that Section I would work a lot better if you switched guitar 2 and the bass. Especailly if you play it live it will get muddy and you won't be able to hear either part.

I love the 78, 44 part, especailly what you do with the 2nd guitar.

Also for drums try to make the hi hat do a more constant rythm, the drums sound a little off at the moment.

Other than that catchy stuff. Its simple and repetative yet still keeps intrest all the way through. That a sign of a very economical riff. Keep up the good work :)


Mean Mr Mustard
02-16-2011, 11:59 PM

- Intro riff was okay, seemed a little tame, but I guess that is just the style. When the drums and other instruments came in, it didnt feel as big as I thought it should. The snare hits sounded off because they going too fast, and the closed hi-hat offered little excitement...I would rethink the drums here. Also, the hi-hats continue on for a while, gets a little boring and doesnt fit too well in my opinion. Try experimenting with open hi-hats, or a ride bell at half the speed.
- "Section I" at bar 13 was okay, didnt really up the tension or anything, but was well written, I liked the syncopation. I didnt like the transition out of it though. I felt that after that powerchord on the 8th fret, you should go to another powerchord on the next quarter note (maybe a powerchord on the 5th fret, that sounds good).
- I Agree about the bass parts in the first two parts here, try to spice them up a bit by having them play some countermelodies, not just follow the riffs the whole times.
- Transition from 35 to 36 was a little poor, try having the drums play sixteenth note snare hits halfway through bar 35. The 7/8 to 4/4 section actually flowed well, it didnt feel like it was unnecessary to fall into that time sig. Im not sure if I would have the drums playing the rides that fast though, it seems to go against the mood that you set. Try having them be quarter notes instead of eighths.
- The solo was a little slow, I dont think that that was the ideal type of riff to solo over to be honest.
- The repeats seemed the same, so my same crit applies to them.
- The pause before that last phrase seemed too long, I would take out that quarter note.

So overall, it had good ideas, but I think it needs some revising to be honest, and try to capture the mood that each section brings. Could you look at the new Prog Metal track in my sig please?

02-17-2011, 09:31 PM
Really cool buddy. The main riff gets a little boring though. I'd add some leads over it. Change the drums up a bit too, they get repetitive. What i've learned from years of playing music, writing music and loving that you can rock the same riff for a 100 minutes as long as the drums can add some variation to it. I like the metal-core-ish part at bar 13 :D Section -11 is heavy, me likey. But incomplete bars, not cool. Always close those up. The solo was kinda weak. Well its an alright song but to me it's to simple. I've seen some of your other stuff and I know you can write amazing songs. this just isnt your genre!!


02-18-2011, 02:59 PM
thanks for the feedback guys!

Its still in a very embrionic state, have to get back to it in a few days. the solo is only there to give an idea of where it would be, and the drums...well, I'm still new at programming them xD

starting to crit your songs right now ;)