Doom-ish Metal song (GP5)


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deathbycontrol
02-19-2011, 12:08 AM
Hey everybody. One of my friends introduced me to doom metal earlier this week, and it seems to have effected my writing a bit :P. I started writing this yesterday afternoon, and just finished it about an hour ago, so I wanted to see if anybody actually likes it.

It's going to seem a little (meaning VERY) repetative, but they're going to be vocals once I decide to write some lyrics. When I do, they'll most likely be screamed and growled.

Also I'll C4C anything you want me to. And any advice is welcome, too.

And, on measure 4, I didnt really know how to give the drums a distorted kind of sound, so I just tried to make due. If anybody knows a better way to do it, I'd love to know. And I dont recommend RSE, unless you want to change all of the settings yourself.

Thanks :D.

DaddyTwoFoot
02-23-2011, 09:49 PM
The way you built a lot of things out of three-measure blocks is disorienting, and not in a very good way. Solo 1 should be expanded, not repeated. The phrasing is too stiff and rhythmic (which is okay in and of itself) to be repeated, it's kinda jarring. You've got some cool melodies going on with the lead guitars. I think you need to focus a little bit less on ornamentation with piano and keyboard and whatnot and focus on writing more riffs. Lots of doom metal bands use keyboard ornamentation, but not until they've written piles of crushing riffs.

Ulalume
02-24-2011, 11:34 AM
I honestly enjoyed it. I enjoy funeral doom myself, with black metal elements; and this was pretty solid. It was interesting how you utilized the 3 bar measures as opposed to the standard 4 (since you repeat its 6 instead of 8). The feeling in this song is very thick, and that is perfect for this style of music. The melodies are all top notch for me, and I'd disagree with DaddyTwoFoot's opinion that the synth/piano needs less focus; as it adds to the funereal mood. My only problem is that it is way to short for all the qualities it has.

Tster
03-03-2011, 06:32 AM
I put the tempo up in some parts. sounded better as it was diffrerent. maybe playa round with da tempo