no pauly, thats not how you stack those boxes [music gp5,4,midi c4c]


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envoykrawkwar7
02-28-2011, 03:04 AM
well my band finally decided on a name, still hasnt decided on music but this our newest masterpiece, wondering what y'all think about it, give it a listen, its pretty djenty, and technical, and theres a lot of cool synth stuff for those who like that, its also got breakdowns.
for gp6 users, open the gp4 file, the gp5 has a lot more track changes so that i could be compressed enough to fit the limit
c4c and ill gladly return the favor =)

goatsock
02-28-2011, 09:51 AM
Intro -
Average nothing special about it

Verse -
Love the Slap Bass and the 5/4 Time signature
I think you should completely get rid of the harp sound though, or at least change it and do something else.

Chorus -
Love the pause before it.
Those chords are beautiful! I love the creativity behind it and think this could work very well, the melody line goes well with it.
Reminds me of 'Idiot Pilot'

2nd Verse -
Those Chords at the start don't go. Good idea but try and find something better fitting. I also think you could add some subtle lead or something to make it a bit more interesting.

Breakdown -
Love the Ocarina sound at the start, gonna have to try that out sometime!
However, breakdowns kind of bore me, but live I could imagine moshing out to it.

The next part of the breakdown you could leave out or change.

Chorus 2 - Perfect.

Outro/Breakdown -
For me this ruins the song. The breakdown is terrible uncreative, uninteresting and doesn't fit. I can see what you're doing but it's been done many times before, try adding some new into the equation.

Overall, very good I frrrrickin love the chords in the chorus, without that chorus it wouldn't be very good you need to make your other parts much better.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1416895

C4C :D x

HappyGilmore899
02-28-2011, 06:50 PM
I pretty much agree with alot of what goatsock said but here's my rundown.

Intro - Brilliant. you've kept the repetition from building up too long (you know how sometimes that happens, the mind wanders and them before the verse lol) and the synth part is very classy.

Verse - Seems like it's a bit of an identity crisis...not to say the Verse is not good overall but for some reason the two triplet's at the end of the cycle just don't seem to fit to me. It might just be me but I just think it breaks some of the chemistry there and just can't help but think there might be a better way to differentiate the rhythm at that point.

Transition/Chorus - Awesome...nothing really I can crit about it. The Transition is subtle and leading into the abrubt (in a good way) beginning of the chorus is a great fit. Love the Chords and the Synth part with the Sweep Pad.

Verse 2 - The DL4 Type Looping part is nice...but I'm a fan of Minus The Bear so obviously I would like that lol.

Breakdown 1/I'm a Mess Bridge - Rhythm is a change just because, like sock said it is pretty conventional but the background siren type part with the strings saves it a bit.

Final Chorus/Breakdown Outro - Again...I love the Synth part in the chorus lol. The Outro is pretty disappointing I have to say and would probably think ending more in the flow of what you have in the choruses would be much better.

Overall I like it. The few flaws don't "ruin" it for me but it is held back at times. Some parts seem overly technical/complicated but theres nothing wrong with ambition. It does seem to be in somewhat of an identity crisis with conforming to some conventional "Done before" type rhythm stuff in the breakdowns but has some great originality in other parts. Still a great, solid track and one I'd definitely listen to if it were recorded.

If you can, I'd appreciate a Crit on my new track "Who's Listening" in the sig...it's Kindergarten type stuff compared to this one technically lol.

envoykrawkwar7
03-01-2011, 02:44 AM
Thanks guys ill work on c4c right away
as to that final breakdown, i hate the hell out of it too, im working on something that just straight minimalism but at the same time so heavy it knocks you off your feet, but therein lies the problem haha, hopefully ill have an update soon for it

and as to the tripolets in the verse, i wish there was something else i could do but thats just the way the riff works and i honestly cant think of anything else to put in there haha

slipknotnskullz
03-01-2011, 06:32 AM
Into: Awesome, I loved it

Verse: I like it, but for some reason I find the 0-7-0 to sound really weird and just annoying, but I like the triplets and the synth in the background

Tr/Chorus: Perfect

Verse2: I like the chords at the beginning alot, and then it goes back to the original verse, I like it

Breakdown: I usually hate this kind of breakdowns, but this wasn't that bad

I'm a mess: No, you're not, you're epic :D

Chorus 2: still perfect

Breakdown outro: WTF? Lol, no offence but this part sucks total $#!^

I really like the song and I would give it a 8/10 if it wasn't for the ending, but that outro is such garbage I have to give it a 6/10. If you put the really epic type of flowing and emotional ending that fits there, it would make the song a 9/10 though...

Plz check out "The Era of Eternal War" from my sig!