New Post-Hardcore Idea WIP
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03-12-2011, 09:44 PM
I haven't written anything new in quite a while so I thought I'd try something today. I kinda went for something complex and rich sounding. The time signatures might feel a little odd but they were done by accident. As in, I was just playing what I wanted to play and they just happened to be in different time signatures.
So yeah I know it's a little messy, and I don't think the burst in at bar 9 is as effective as it should be. I think I need to choke the cymbals in the intro. I don't think I'm gonna keep bridge B, it sounds too similar to something I've done, and I just generalyl don't really like it.
Tell me what you think so far, and I'm not too sure where to head with the song. c4c of course
EDIT: Changed a 9/8 bar on the intro repeat to 4/4 because it flows better.
EDIT: Did a little work on it today, v6
EDIT: Got a finished version now, but it needs work still, v9
03-13-2011, 03:08 PM
Feckin love it. Soooooo creative! Bit's of it are hard to follow cos the time signatures get a bit too weird but it still works. The bit at bar 26 is sick.
I added a chorusy type thing to the end cos I was bored :P x
03-13-2011, 05:03 PM
Hah thanks man, yeah after you listen to it a bit you get quite comfortable with the time signatures, but what I still felt was odd was when the lead comes in after bar 8, the 4/4 bar after the 9/8 bar didn't sound right so I've just changed it to 2 4/4 bars, and I think it flows much better. Just a very subtle touch I did so far.
I like your chorusy thing, but I couldn't use it, like, when I eventually record this, I'll never feel proud because it'd be like "yeah actually this bit was written by some guy on the internet." But cheers mate
03-15-2011, 05:38 AM
I really like your songs, lol. Every time i try writing songs that have complex chords, time signatures, rhythms, leads, structures... ect ect, i'll start playing for 10 minutes, get too impatient, end up hating everything, and stop playing guitar for the rest of the day xD
Edit* decided that i should put something useful to you here, especially now that you have a finished version.
The verse sounds really strange, but i think its just because it's guitar pro and not a real guitar. I also thing you may have too many leads (which is the exact opposite problem i usually have xD)
It just seems like there should be a place where the instruments back down a tad to possibly let some vocals get some attention, or even if this is written to be an instrumental, a place where everything slows down a bit and gives the listener time to really think about what they just heard couldn't hurt.
Hope that helped, keep up the good work :D
03-16-2011, 08:14 AM
I listened to ver3, because I assumed it's the most recent.
The intro is nice, but the snare+kick at the 2nd bar is definetely not needed. I found bars 10 to 16 very interesting.
The bridge is my favourite part, I really really liked it. The G#maj chord was an odd choice that fits surprisingly well! I never use maj triads, it's a sound I find uninteresting, but here it sounds really nice, which surprised me in a very good way. I also loved the lead guitar.
The "after-bridge" I didn't like. The first chord, a D#5/9, sounds harmonically out of place, doesn't fit with what was heard before. It could not fit but end up being a nice contrast, but it doesn't even do that well.
I find that you could try and write some more interesting bass lines, but I think that's up to you in regards what role you want the bass to have.
Check out my thread: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1422052
03-16-2011, 11:41 AM
Cheers guys. I kinda wish I knew what chord you're on about tomas_almeida, the one that seemed an odd choice. My theory's pretty poor, I just come up with whatever chords sound nice hah.
I did a bit of work on it recently so I've uploaded v6. I don't know how I feel about the chorus, and I'm not sure how well the transition into the verse works. I'd hope the vocals would help that.
03-16-2011, 03:29 PM
I was talking about the first in the bridge, bar 17 on version 6. I just listened to ver6, and I like it, but I'll get a more detailed review when I get the chance to (I'll try tomorrow). Just didn't like that riff that was separated by empty bars from the rest of the track.
03-16-2011, 04:28 PM
Oh yeah don't worry I was supposed to get rid of that. I was originally gonna have that chord sequence for part of the chorus but it didn't flow well with the song, and the lead was just a rough idea of what I'd do with it. I'll get to critting your song soon, I just gotta do some work now for tomorrow.
03-16-2011, 05:22 PM
I liked it alot, have you heard the new Dance Gavin Dance?
03-17-2011, 02:55 PM
Thanks man. Yeah I have actually, unfortunately pretty disappointed with it though. The only songs I like are Spooks and Elder Goose really :/
03-17-2011, 04:20 PM
I'm a big fan of a good chunk of the guitar work, and the clean vocals in Blue Dream and Thug City are pretty good. It's no DBM, but I think its starting to grow on me.
03-17-2011, 04:55 PM
I liked Heat Seeking Ghost Of Sex :p
03-17-2011, 07:31 PM
Yeah, I just kinda feel Jonny's vocals are a bit moany and boring for the most part. I do like a lot of the guitar work though.
I've managed to come up with a finished version of the song now but I know I need to touch up on some parts. Like, I feel it has a kinda weak ending, everything after Interlude (C) feels like it needs work I think.
Tell me watcha'll think now
03-19-2011, 03:38 PM
Haven't posted here in ages, but i suppose a crit today won't hurt.
Like always, I'm pretty blown away. Sounds like a mixture of Emarosa (but better), DGD and something completely original. Since i love the use of strange, non-convenient chords (**** power-chords) this is really refreshing, sounds very close to the sound i am currently trying at. The only thing which seemed to bother me was that the song seemed to be in fifth gear all the time, which isn't really that much of an issue because it's awesome anyways. However, the "fifth-gear-throughout-entire-songs" thing can be annoying if done too much, which is probably why i can't ever seem to listen through Emarosas Relativity. Not that its a bad record, it just gets tiring.
Whatever, I'm still impressed. Great job.
I'll make sure to get a song up whenever i actually finish writing one. Until then no c4c is needed :)
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