2 Untitled Post-Hardcore (GP5/4) -C4C-


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Personae
03-18-2011, 11:35 PM
These are a mite bit rough, but as WIP's I think they're nearly finished.

The first (harshman) is nearly entirely finished, minus the pre-breakdown verse. The second is rough around the edges, but generally seems alright.

Anyways, check 'em out. They still have my influences of Dallas Green et al, but Misery Signals can be heard through 'em, especially the second (d'oh).

Thanks, C4C.

Uber Man
03-18-2011, 11:54 PM
In harshman that first time change is really awkward. and a 3/4 and 5/4 is just two 4/4's no need to complicate it.

Miserysignalsrip has just awful transitions. Its all ballady stuff then super fast dissonant stuff.

None of the riffs/parts were bad by themselves, in fact i quite liked most of them, they just could have been put together better.

Of_Wolves
03-19-2011, 12:26 PM
Just a quick reply here, short of time. Harshman if great, you reeeeeeally should get rid of that boring breakdown though, you could have done something so much more interesting in the bars, I mean sure have a "breakdown" by all means but theres so much more you could have done with it than open chugging. No other comments on this on.

The second piece. I have to totally disagree with the previous poster, I think the switch between ballardishness and hardcore really works. Not jarring in the slightest for me, more... interesting! I mean if you took those parts out it would be generic through and through in my opinion. Every song needs a hook, something that makes it unique, something that makes it stand out from every other song out there and these melodic bits do exactly that job for you. That one "delay transition" is very rough, but I'm sure you have already picked that out.

So yeah, I can tell you have a good ear for interesting riffs so please please don't feel you have to throw in a random boring breakdown like in Harshman.

blake1221
03-19-2011, 01:32 PM
Harshman could have used either a better breakdown, or not one at all. The current one just doesn't seem to add anything overall to the song. The only part (besides the breakdown) that I didn't like was the first time change section. It didn't mesh with the rest of the song as much I feel, and 3/4 - 5/4 kinda got a chuckle out of me. Just keep it 4/4, makes it less try hard. The song had consistent great riffs and while your drummer might hate you for those double bass parts, it sounded pretty good.

Misery Signals was a miss. The transitions were shoddy, and need some kind of connection, especially with that dissonant key change. It just didn't work. The breakdowns didn't really flow with anything. The chaotic parts sounded sick, really strong Fall of Troy sound, but they felt like they were thrown in there more for novelty. That really took away from the overall sound. Needs some work, to be honest.

andre27
03-19-2011, 03:47 PM
Harshman was a really good song, most transitions were however not really that great so that def needs some work. The breakdown wasn't necessary at all but i can see why you wanted it there. Trust me, get rid of it and your song will be twice as good. Can't really complain about any of the riffs since they were completely amazing, great job on that. The outro was probably my favorite part. Overall 6/10, without the breakdown it would be an 8, with better transitions I would definitely consider giving it a 10 but it needs much work.

Might do a review for your other song someday but I'm both lazy and in a bit of a hurry. T'would be nice if you would leave a short crit for either Lilith, On Letting Go, or Stars, you pick. Considering my crit was short, I'll live if yours is too. Hope that was helpful. :)

Shinami
03-20-2011, 03:53 AM
Nothing about Harshman, everything was said.

The other song, miserysomething, I thought was really cool. The first half was really awesome, however the second half, after the breakdown seemed to lack something, It sounded a bit bland. Perhaps some more interesting leads.

But I can't stress enough how much I liked the first half.

Good job :)