Post Hardcore/Who Cares WIP [GP5, GP4, MIDI]


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AngrySockMonkey
03-19-2011, 08:57 PM
Yeah. I haven't been on in forever. I hope you enjoy this.

Also, kind of feeling that it all sounds too climatic/dramatic. Opinions and suggestions specifically on this and structure are appreciated.

Shinami
03-20-2011, 03:45 AM
Alright I'm not a great critic, but here's my small input.

The ending. It just lacks something. I always imagine there being suspense before the ending, then something awesome, and then the awesomeness slowly fades away and the song end. Here it just sort of stops and that's it.

Also some variety during the chorus. Perhaps lead fills and such would do the trick.

More variety on the bass. That alone would give the song a much more interesting feel and sound. Now it's just root notes, which, of course, sounds alright, but it would sound a lot cooler with some time spent on it.

Other then that it's a cool, simple song for listening, even tho I prefer more variety, now it's more of a standard verse - chorus - verse - chorus type thing. But I'm into prog stuff so I shouldn't judge on that, cause it's simply not my style.

P.S Other then the ending, the structure sounds OK to me, but don't take my word on that, you can certainly structure better then me (I'm horrible at structuring)

Uber Man
03-20-2011, 04:15 AM
I quite liked the song, although I think it should be a little longer. The drum part at measure 33 would be really cool to bring back for an outro or something, and i was really hoping to hear the riff after that (measure 41) again somewhere in the song, maybe with a bit of variation.

The bass could use some work, mix it up, a couple fills here and there, throwing the bass up an octave before the end of a riff is a nice way to transition. And instead of just straight eight notes, have the bass follow the rhythm of the bass drum (of course the bass drum does straight eighths on several parts as well, which is fine)

Oh, and a little panning never hurt anyone :P

AngrySockMonkey
03-20-2011, 02:36 PM
Work in progress, bassist is just learning so I may make it more intricate in the future. This is the first version of the song.

Erra93
03-21-2011, 12:17 PM
I think it sounds very good :)
I love happy songs :o

Andalus
03-21-2011, 05:43 PM
As stated before the bass needs some work. The guitar at the beginning is very nice and would sound great recorded. One thing you might want to try is a call and return between the bass and the bass drum.

Other than that, I would say keep at it as this piece has potential.

NegiTom
03-21-2011, 07:06 PM
Really liked this song, Not loads to do a fully detailed crit on, but the intro is great, the melodies fit together prefectly and give it quite a sad tone, but I guess that depends on how you listen to it I guess. I thought the double bass at the end of the song felt quite out of place as did bars 99-101. Overall this was great though I thought. Spice up the bass maybe and you're sorted.