[PT] One jazz song, two metal songs


PDA

View Full Version : [PT] One jazz song, two metal songs


sortajan
03-24-2011, 03:04 AM
It's been a few years since I've submitted any of my songs for online review, so I figured I'd give it a bash with three of my more recent songs. "From the Tree" is sort of jazzy; the other two are metal. I've been writing music for ten years now, so I hope my lack of formal training doesn't bleed through too much.

Tarbosh
03-24-2011, 03:42 AM
No one uses power tab. Try posting MIDIs.

sortajan
03-24-2011, 04:13 AM
I don't use GP, but I still have it because I know a lot of people use it.

edit: MIDI's uploaded either way

Tarbosh
03-24-2011, 04:36 AM
Well, I think they're all pretty good, but they all suffer from the same problem, and that's the endless unwavering repetition of the same progression in the background. Maybe it might be mitigated by the inclusion of drums and bass, but it was especially evident in From the Tree. It has some really cool melodies in it, I enjoyed the melodic bit quite a bit, but it seemed to ramble a little bit. The end was a bit lackluster in that it didn't really exist, it just kind of...faded it. I think you might benefit from some different instrumentation along the way rather than just the jazz guitar patch stacked on top of the distorted guitar patch the whole time (at least I think that's what I'm hearing, maybe I'm wrong about the instruments). If you just varied up the progression within the "verses", it would be much better, and I also suggest putting some walking bass in the chorus part where you vary the progression (1:16), that would sound really cool, and just go back to a regular bassline upon the return to the verse. It sounds like you definitely have the ear to write a cool bassline. Add a rudimentary drum part, and you're set.

Think you could drop a crit on my little orchestral piece here?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1423791

sortajan
03-24-2011, 10:19 AM
I can definitely see how From the Tree would benefit from some bass. One of my greatest flaws as a composer is that about thirty percent of the time I completely neglect to write out a part for the bass even where one is needed. It's a flaw because I've written songs exclusively for the bass, and songs where the bass is as important to the melody as the guitar is (such as in one called Nova). Jazz is somewhat unfamiliar territory for me as a composer; being self-taught I've sort of left it to the professionals. I've only written three or four songs in that vein. I'm not sure I can find any points in the other two that are anywhere near as repetitive as From the Tree though; Harbinger in particular had a lot of variations on individual themes.

In any case, thanks for the response. Going to submit a critique on your piece.