And Another Post-Hardcore Idea WIP (c4c)


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Seb1uk
03-28-2011, 02:57 PM
Something I came up with in the last few hours after feeling inspired to try after listening to some more Haunted Shores, although it didn't really end up being much like them.

I don't think the transition into the pre-verse works very well, maybe I need a section to link the two? Or is it alright? Also not too sure about intro (A) to (B).

Obviously not finished yet, but tell me what you think so far

EDIT: Did a bit more work on it, ignore the Interlude after the chorus, that's not staying there, it's just an idea to work on.

EDIT: Ending up keeping the bridge after the chorus, quite liked it after I listened to it the day after. I've finished the song now, but not too happy with it. The interlude feels a bit dull.

Erra93
03-28-2011, 04:58 PM
This is definitely your best one so far, there's not a part I would change :)

StringAssassin
03-28-2011, 11:12 PM
This = Amazing! 10/10.
I liked it all, but I liked your transition from the solo to the pre-verse most.
It built tension, I guess you could say? Like a release from the big chords and the strings underneath all of it. I didn't really like the "(A)" part of the intro, but (B) kept me interested for some reason.

If you're open to suggestions, I feel like there should definitely be a chorus at bar 73. If you know what I mean?

C4C? Thanks.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1425725

BigBigWater
03-29-2011, 05:04 PM
Love the intro, the rhythm and notes are perfect on the clean guitar, everything else builds up very well. The only complaint is the drums feel a bit awkward in places, measures 19-23ish.

Solo is fantastic, does indeed make me think a bit of Haunted Shores-ish stuff there.

Pre-verse section is pretty solid. The groove is good, chord choice is wonderful, and the little riff fill is pretty good.

Overall, a really solid start, would be sick to hear this finished.

I have my own WIP, if you could please C4C http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1424870

<3

Seb1uk
04-01-2011, 08:50 PM
Thanks guys. I've done a bit more work on it now, check out the first post.

Seb1uk
04-02-2011, 06:12 PM
Finished it now. Ending up keeping the bridge after the chorus, quite liked it after I listened to it the day after. But I'm not too happy with it. The interlude feels a bit dull, and I think some of the pizzicato harmonies sound a bit wrong. Check out the first post, it's v14

Uber Man
04-03-2011, 09:42 PM
I liked it, nice melodies and a couple of 7/8's thrown in quite seamlessly. I only have two suggestions; First, a little panning never hurt anyone :P. Second, the pizzicato strings were kind of weird, i think it would probably sound better if it was just a piano and let everything ring, instead of have rests.

Seb1uk
04-04-2011, 01:22 PM
Hah thanks. Yeah I was always like to pan but when there's like just grand chords coming from one guitar and the other just playing single notes, the panning seems a bit funny. That isn't so much the case in this song I guess so I could do that. And I actually liked the pizzicato strings, maybe I'm being biased because I just wanted to put them in a song but I'll give the piano a try.

huevos
04-05-2011, 02:34 PM
(LISTENING TO V14):
Not too keen on the lead at the beginning, but it makes sense later under the new harmonic context that you introduce at Intro (B). This is where the song really takes off.

And continues so during the solo. I like your melodic and rhythmic framing. Always have and probably always will. Good stuff.

Pre-verse/Verse A is classic Seb1uk, without sounding like a rehash. You've established a definitive sound that has intrigued me.

Verse B is very well developed. Again, no problems with anything here.

I expected the Chorus to be bigger, but I'm not necessarily disappointed, given how well it flows into the Bridge. I also imagine vocals to be a big part of the Chorus.

Bridge is not exceptional, but it certainly does connect to the Interlude in a grand way.
I must say that the interlude is quite the centerpiece. The pacing here is amazing. The fusion-ish style is presented in damn good fashion.
Very tasteful.

New Chorus works wonders. It's solid structure makes a good counter to the free flow of the Interlude section. I thought the final high register chords/dyads were a bit much, but I really don't have a suggestion as to what would make it better.

Regardless, this entire song is a marvel of PHC.

No need for a return crit at this moment. I'm still shaping up a few song ideas before releasing them.

Life Is Brutal
04-07-2011, 10:43 PM
Intro is awesome, and the phrasing is interesting. I get a bit of a Canon Rock feel when the chords join in, and they accent the lead quite well. I would revise the chord that track 2 has at 15, beat 3, as it sounds off. From there, I like the suspension your able to create with some of the chordings, although 40 bars of the lead might be a bit much.

For the solo, the first 7 beats are great, but the rest seems to lose focus. You get a better effect at 49-56, and although the lead licks are essentially the same.

Pre-Verse is interesting, and I like your use of the 7/8 bars. Chord choices are very good, and theres a good sound here. From there, it seems unfinished. Which it is. :haha:

Good work, and interesting piece.

Seb1uk
04-08-2011, 07:51 AM
Cheers guys, but Life Is Brutal I think you listened to the oldest version lol. Have a listen to v14, which is the song finished, and tell me what ya think :)

Thomasoman
04-08-2011, 01:01 PM
criting as I listen, first off I think the strings are a bit too powerful when they come in, it all works out when the drums come in, but it could do with a fade in before.

This guitar line is interesting, especially the rhythms. and verse A is absolutely my favorite so far, though I may end up changing my mind about that once the song is finished haha.

I absolutely LOVE the pizzicato strings...its unexpected, and its different in this genre.

I honestly have no complaints about this piece besides the strings being a bit overpowering sometimes. good job.

fleajr_1412
04-21-2011, 02:20 PM
Just finished listening to it.

It's excellent, everything meshes together very well, it's evident it took you a lot of time. I do have three small issues with it, but these are more to do with my personal taste than anything.

1. I think the intro would sound a little better if the guitar was clean

2. The drums are a little busy, I'd recommend toning it down and locking in a bit more

3. The guitar in the pizz'd strings interlude is a little busy as well, I'd bring that back to let the strings come through a more.

Apart from those minor thing,s I think you have a fantastic piece there, I loved the way the guitars intwined with each other and how melodic the bass line was.

Seb1uk
09-03-2011, 07:36 PM
If anyone who critted this is still here, I did a really rough demo of it today, it's not great but it's a step closer to what it'd sound like for real at least. It's on my profile or here if you prefer http://soundcloud.com/sebyumgoong/post-hardcore-rough-demo

Erra93
09-05-2011, 05:34 AM
If anyone who critted this is still here, I did a really rough demo of it today, it's not great but it's a step closer to what it'd sound like for real at least. It's on my profile or here if you prefer http://soundcloud.com/sebyumgoong/post-hardcore-rough-demo

Sounds great dude, it's a song I would like to have vocals over but would still listen to if there were none :p

Seb1uk
09-06-2011, 07:06 AM
Oh trust me I'd love to put vocals on this, I just never really got round to it coz I find it hard to write lyrics. But cheers man!

~Flounder~
09-11-2011, 05:21 AM
long time no see buddy! Your style has definitely progressed since the last piece i heard from you :p

I really enjoy the intro melody, it has a nice swing to it. The strings that come in are cool, but I feel like they could be a little more involved/interesting? Intro (B) is really sweet, I could imagine some sweet vocals going over it. The Solo fits in great! Verse A is cool, Verse B starts building the tension, but I wasn't very happy with the Chorus. measure 105 was def. the best part of the chorus. Throw in some cool chuggy chords or something!

The Bridge onwards was meh. Honestly I REALLY didn't like the pizzicato strings you threw in at the beginning of the interlude. Please god take them out, they like ruin the feel of the song. Everything else was good tho. Good choice on putting verse B in again, although I would have liked to hear a bit of an alternate ending. Again the chorus has potential but just seems like something heavy/chuggy/head noddy is missing from it.

those ****ING pizzicato strings!!!! argh. other than that I thought it fit the genre extremely well....had a great feel to it

c4c?? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=28104494#post28104494

Seb1uk
09-12-2011, 01:18 PM
Cheers for the crit man. Haha, the pizzicato strings have gotten mixed responses. To be honest, I love them, so yah D: Anyway, returning the crit now