Rock/Metal song [GP5, 4, MID] C4C


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Danul454
03-31-2011, 08:25 PM
Here's a song I did quite some time ago, but kinda forgot about. I remembered it just recently and did some edits so tell me how it is I guess. I didn't get quite as progressive with this one as I usually aim for, but I think it's alright. C4C.

Edit: Changed the verse riff to be...more of a riff, I guess, I dunno :confused: also added [Removed] section in which I'll be putting any riffs I get rid of.

Life Is Brutal
04-02-2011, 12:18 PM
Intro and solo reminded me slightly of Jason Beckers "Altitudes", and also had tones of Hangar 18 by Megadeth in it. Chugging following the solo didn't do much for me, but the solo over it makes it interesting.

The second interlude was a nice break, and provided some contrast to the rest of the song, although it drags on a bit until the guitar solo. And then it follows previously structured riffs to the end.

Overall, good structure, although it seems to be a lead based song without much tonal variation throughout. As is, I would give it an overall 7/10.

HaydenHohns
04-06-2011, 11:53 PM
Ok, returning Crit now.

Bars (1-16): Nice ringing ostinato, I like it. Maybe to spice it up the second time round add the hi hat on all the off beats (1st = Off, 2nd = On, 3rd = Off, 4th = On), etc.
Guitar Solo: Nice, make sure the ringing ostinato comes down if you record this. I think bars 19 and 20 would benefit from some harmonisation, probably diatonic 3rds or diatonic 4ths. I would say 4ths because it has more grit though.
Verse I: Not very fond of this riff. I think the ringing makes it too dissonant. Perhaps make it a little choppier or have a mini-legato lead over the type, with which you can then eliminate the ring of the rhythm guitar.
Pre-Chorus: This could be good if the rhythm guitar is fixed!
Chorus: It's a bit boring for me. You need some leads to top it off. I'll assume you are having vocals in this song so make sure they're harmonised and powerful.
Interlude: Nice phrasing but it lacks any punch due to the uninteresting rhythms. I understand it's not Prog/Avante-Garde/Whatever but that doesn't stop you from creating good rhythms. Just as Life Is Brutal mentioned Megadeth, the chord progressions sounds very much like a romantic composer which is also evident in Good Mourning/Black Friday by Megadeth and if you are familiar with their work (Particularly the albums Peace Sells... and Rust In Peace, there is rarely a dull rhythm) then you'll see just how creative Dave is when lining it all up together.
Verse II: Once again, not in my favour, don't like the major 2nd harmony, although I appreciate the slight experminetation you are trying.
Chorus: Same as previously stated.
Interlude: Nice, the distorted rhythm doesn't need to be here, save it for a build-up with crazy drums. Just let it fade.
Bridge: Nice melody at bar 97.
Guitar Solo: Good except the last few bars really need to finish with a bang, bring out the sweeps, taps and alt picking at full pace.
Break: Nice way of winding down what will be a great guitar solo, right?
Chorus/Outro: Same as previously stated about the parts.

I'd say this piece has potential but it needs something extra to give it that punch, a few harmonised parts and interesting rhythms would do it. Keep at it.