Completed Progressive Metal


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HaydenHohns
04-04-2011, 04:12 AM
Hey, I'm a new member but I've been composing for a few years. I love Progressive Rock and all sorts of Metal with the occasional Fusion and Baroque/Romantic Music.

The title is still working for now. Also, if anyone has any ideas on how I could adapt it for 7 string as I recently purchased one then that would be fantastic. I was thinking of changing the Black/Thrash Metal section into Tech-Death to take advantage of the low B but I'll see what others think. I'm happy to C4C (It's a new concept for me but it seems to work fine provided all parties participate).

Life Is Brutal
04-04-2011, 07:49 AM
Intro is very nice, and I like the way you alter keys in it. Following sectiong and guitar section are also awesome. Clean reprisal is great, and the same with Theme II. Riff F and Riff G are good, but don't flow into each other very well. Clean guitar and Theme III are awesome, and I love that you used diminished arps. :D

Theme IV is very awesome, and the following material is also. Riff G into Riff 1 is an iffy transition, although Riff 1's awesomeness makes up for it. Following theme transitions nicely, and the following themes are also nice. Riff J is cool, and the fading guitar makes the segment a very cool idea. III Theme V is interesting, but the flow into Theme VI is a bit abrupt. Theme VI and Riff K are very awesome, likewise for theme VI rehash.

Theme VII is awesome, and has a great sound and suspension to it. I don't know how well it flows into Theme V, so I would attempt and meld that. Also, transition to Pre Theme IV could be improved. Guitar solo is interesting, and flows nicely. I find it awesome how your able to use the same themes that you couldn't quite call riffs.

Riff A/B is a nice closure, and ends the song perfectly.

All in all, for power metal, to me, This > Through the fire and Flames. :haha:

MetalCommand
04-04-2011, 03:23 PM
The acoustic intro is lovely. Concise and to the point, but also had plenty going on, such as the quick run in bar 12 which leads to the change of key. Theme I is excellent and leads nicely into the short solo. Good riff after that and the next solo is fantastic too. Wasn't so sure about riff D when I first heard it, seemed a little of an awkard transition, especially as it only lasts 4 bars. Has grown on me somewhat on further listens though. Riff E is good and flows very well into Theme II. There are so many different parts to song, it's good how quiet acoustic bits transition into heavier parts, which keeps the listener (very) interested. It's just a fantastic song really. I could just list every part and say how much I like it, but there doesn't seem much point to that. So as to anything I might change... Riff I is brilliant but I really think you should repeat it once at least. It has such a cool rhythm, I'd just like to listen to it a bit longer. As I said, one of the strong points of the song is that it has so many different parts, but I think sometimes you shouldn't be afraid to repeat things a bit more just to keep a nicer flow to it. You mentioned perhaps changing the black/ thrash metal section (Theme VI) but I think it's excellent as is and no real need to alter it. Although the seven string you bought will come in useful, doesn't mean you absolutely have to go back and change all your songs to make use of the extra string. Of course when you spend money on a new piece of equipment you want to use it all the time at first, but it's not necessarily a good idea to force it into a completed song which is great already.
Overall the song is brilliant and definitely one of the best I've seen on these forums. Oh yeah and Ghost in a Prison is a cool title too.

If you could crit mine too, that'd be great :)

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1425509

Tarbosh
04-06-2011, 07:32 PM
Hey man, thanks for the praise on my orchestral thing, I'll give you a section-by-section rundown of your song like you did for mine...

Intro: This sounds awfully similar to Edge of Forever by Symphony X, but it's not a huge problem because it changes pretty quickly.

Guitar Solo: Cool harmonies here, no complaints.

Riff C: Sounds a bit empty for me, you should beef it up with some keyboards, maybe...

Another solo: I think you might want to spare the harmonization. It gets a little bit annoying to have EVERYTHING harmonized in thirds, and it sounds way more powerful if you just harmonize one lick from the solo.

Another problem I have so far is that it doesn't seem to be so focused yet, one idea floats in then floats out just as quickly.

Theme III: More harmonies, but the melody is good. Honestly I'm tired of the constant tertian harmony. Maybe some might like it, but not me so much.

Riff I sounds like it's a different song. And then it kind of awkwardly transitions back into the previous material. It sounds like you just copied and pasted previous stuff into the bar to increase the length...If you're going to restate previous thematic material, it's best to space it out more for the greatest effect, and also make sure you have a good lead-in. Pay attention to the keys and such.

I actually really like the thing at V. The little slidy guitar lick in the background. Sounds pretty sick. And then the riff at 135, ****ing SWEET, dude. But then it's kind of diminished by another change in feel. You really gotta stick with the feel once you've already established it. If you had kept that vibe going from 135, which you probably could have for at least 20 measures, it would have been really sick. But it just keeps cycling through random other parts of the song. It sounds like a bit of a cluster****, to be honest. Like a bunch of random riffs that just got glued together. You should work on being able to reuse old material, but just with a different twist. Change the thickness of the orchestration, change a few notes, make it JUST noticeable enough that you can tell that it's restating material from the past.

In closing, the material itself is quite good for the most part, but they way you strung it together leaves a bit to be desired.

Danul454
04-06-2011, 08:29 PM
I. Intro (A)-A (Mod): I thought it was pretty good. Not much else I can really say here.

Theme I: I thought this was pretty neat, the transition worked well, and the riff's really catchy.

Guitar Solo: Nice harmonies, and I like how they each do their own thing for a little bit.

Riff C: I dunno about this part. It sounds good, but it sounded like it should have been 4/4 the first time I listened to it. It grew on me, though.

Guitar Solo: Pretty cool again, but I think I'd like it more if you only used the harmonies at select parts instead of throughout the whole solo.

Riff D: Nice change here, but I think I'd like it to repeat just once.

Riff E: Good again. No real critiques here.

Theme II: Pretty cool again. Hardly any critiques here, but I'd advise switching up the harmonies at least a little bit.

Riff F/G: I switched Guitar I to do 17-17-18- 17-18-22 in bar 62 which I found I liked more. These two seemed to go together nicely, I wish you'd take this bit a little further.

Riff H: Fine guitar, but the drums seemed a little iffy here.

Theme III//IV: Good job with these. Not much else to say.

Riff F/G: I'm glad you brought this back, but I still think repeating the two once would sound better.

Riff I: Alright, but sounded a bit out of place with the rest of the song.

Theme IV/II: Same as before.

Riff J/Guitar Solo: Nice acoustic, and cool lead effects.

III. Theme V: Nice and intense. A good transition into Theme VI:

Theme VI: Seems alright but a little sudden with everything else that's happened so far.

Riff K: Kinda sounds like you start playing a completely different song like halfway through this one.

Theme VII: I liked Theme VII, nice job winding down. I especially like that you use the two leads as exclusive instruments.

Theme VI/VII/V/Riff I: Same as before, the transitions throughout this bit seem a little shoddy.

Pre-Theme IV: Simply put, good.

Guitar Solo: I liked this, too. I think I'd prefer to see one extended solo rather than all these short ones, cuz they just like give you a taste then stop.

Theme II/V. Riff A/B: Same as before.

Outro Riff A (Mod): Good, too. Nice way to end it.

Overall, 8/10, the transitions and riffs were a little eh for me toward the middle, but overall, it was pretty good.

C4C? (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1427349)

HaydenHohns
04-06-2011, 11:14 PM
@Life Is Brutal: Thanks a lot for the crit. I know some of the transitions are a bit dodgy but I'd come up with that reprisal idea before I had the Black Metal section as a completed song so I used that for the sole fact of getting it to round out the song, which has varying degrees of success with these crits. I laughed at the Dragon Force reference.
@MetalCommand: Thanks for the crit, I've already C4C'ed your topic so that's all sorted. The reason why there are so many parts is because I used to structure songs like Ambient/Post-Rock (Building layers etc) but then I got sick of it because it didn't suit the Prog sensibility if you know what I mean. I will take note of what you said about the 7 string but that doesn't mean I won't try.
@Tarbosh: No worries, you can message me if there's anything else you need me to crit sometime down the road but I'm in school holidays for now so I can't gurantee you the quickest of replies at all times. Anyway, I try to keep keyboards out of my compositions, not because I don't like them but because I like to be able to play all the melodic instruments (Just a little personality quirk of mine). Adressing the harmonies, you are going to love and hate some of my material and love others (Both old and new) as I do explore different harmonic content using 12 tone techniques and I love diatonic 6th harmonies as well as using harmonies at the end of phrases/fills but this one I personally thought a completely harmonised solo was the way to go, no qualms though. I can understand how you would become annoyed about the harmonies and transitions (I don't disagree with the transitions though). I do appreciate the off center crit to BTW, no matter how negative or positive.
@Danul454: At Riff H, should I have kept the beat at straight 8ths in stead of 1/4, 2(1/8), 1/4, 2(1/8)? I decided on this because all the previous stuff I've done would always be straight beats but I could see how that works. Riff F/G were strictly a transition riff as far as I'm concerned, can you elaborate on how it could be expanded? I thought the transitions within each section were pretty good it was just inbetween major parts like the acoustic to Black Metal which I was more concerned about, each to his own though. I'll begin your crit right away.

Anyway, thanks for all the crits, I've had pretty good success with what I would call a tough crowd (Everyone here at least plays guitar and I'm assuming a large percentage know theory) so I'm really happy but I will take into depth what everyone has said about the harmonising and keys etc.

Erra93
04-07-2011, 03:25 AM
The solo at bar 30-38 is my favorite part of the whole song, that harmony is just.. lovely!

Danul454
04-10-2011, 10:48 PM
Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this. I kept putting it off then I sorta forgot about it :p: Anyway, heres what I was talking about continuing on with Riffs F/G then I just threw down a drum beat for Riff H, you can do whatever but I just think the 1/4, 2/8 thing sounded weird.

HaydenHohns
04-21-2011, 03:13 AM
Sorry it took a while to get back to you! I can see why you would make more extensive use of the hi-hat. I won't copy it but some sort of variation, most definitely. I might use it for only the first 4 bars or something like that, but either way, I appreciate the effort you put into your crit.