Five Months In Mauritania (Gp5/4/midi)


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Thomasoman
04-04-2011, 01:16 PM
I havn't posted a song on here in a really long time, mostly because I've been really afraid of people stealing my shit. However, since this one has been recorded by my band already I'm not worried about.

This piece's influences are obvious, but hopefully not overpowering. enjoy, criticism is what I'm here for but as of now I'm probably not changing anything in this one.

EDIT: Also to note that the intro isn't final, its just there as a note to make a REAL intro at some point as this is going to be the opener of our EP

stoltobot
04-04-2011, 01:34 PM
more cowbell. Apart from that it sounds good, a bit At the Drive-In ish.

frankibo
04-04-2011, 08:50 PM
I havn't posted a song on here in a really long time, mostly because I've been really afraid of people stealing my shit

That's super paranoid and pretty egotistical too, who says anyone would want to steal your stuff? I've never been worried about that and I don't think many people on here are, we're here to share.

Regarding the song, the intro was nice, nothing special about the progression but the build up was good. Next section was cool, like the lead and the pause in the drums. Next section with the bass and shakers is very funky. Didn't really think the double bass blast-esque beats really suited it. Section that that followed was sweet, nice lead again. Clean chords again, love the bassline. Really don't like those quarter notes, they just seem plain odd.
And that riff as the outro was fine.
All in all that's a pretty decent song, bassline stood out, drums and leads were solid, trem guitar parts got tiresome.

Thomasoman
04-05-2011, 02:12 PM
That's super paranoid and pretty egotistical too, who says anyone would want to steal your stuff?

Considering its happened to me and other people before, I'd say its a pretty rational concern. If that offends you in some way, I really don't care. Keep your condescending bullshit out of my song, plenty of people would want to steal my stuff just as people would yours.

frankibo
04-06-2011, 07:14 AM
You're unnecessarilly aggressive and not really making sense either, if you're that worried why bother sumbitting it at all? The threat of it being stolen hasn't gone away in your eyes and the benefits of a few half-hearted critiques surely don't outway the risk of your precious material being stolen by some evil music bandito.

You could've at least said thanks for the crit as well, even if you don't mean it, it's just simple manors.

Ara Replica
04-06-2011, 09:20 AM
Considering its happened to me and other people before, I'd say its a pretty rational concern. If that offends you in some way, I really don't care. Keep your condescending bullshit out of my song, plenty of people would want to steal my stuff just as people would yours.
Really?! He is the only one who gave you a crit.
Based on the way you act, I see it staying that way.

Thomasoman
04-06-2011, 01:31 PM
This is legitimately ridiculous. What frankibo came in with WAS condescending bullshit, crit or not. It would've been easy enough to kindly point out that he doesn't think anyone here would steal tabs, but he didn't. I'm going to greet hostility with exactly that.

All I was doing was explaining my inactivity, because even though you might not think so, I USED to be a regular contributor to this section of the forum.

You're unnecessarilly aggressive and not really making sense either, if you're that worried why bother sumbitting it at all? The threat of it being stolen hasn't gone away in your eyes and the benefits of a few half-hearted critiques surely don't outway the risk of your precious material being stolen by some evil music bandito.

As I said in my post,

However, since this one has been recorded by my band already I'm not worried about.

Stop being a dick and I'll stop being aggressive. I'm making perfect sense, you're just trying to stir up a shitstorm for some reason.

Rokkstar
04-06-2011, 05:12 PM
Dude you're getting trolled, it was a nice piece, and I would've gave a critique back, but dude you fed the trolls bro. :( You WERE my favorite writer, but the way you've responded to these people. D:

EDIT: It wasn't trolling, it was a standard statement. :S Why be afraid? I've been asked if I was afraid if someone would steal my music. My response was I'd be honored. haha. I'll never get to record it. D:

JesseBlanchard
04-06-2011, 08:59 PM
Thomasoman is right. I dont post here anymore because I'm scared of people stealing my songs.

As usual, song rules man. Love the lead that blends in during the intro. And the 2 bits at 25 is so DGD. Awesome. Didnt like the higher chords that come in at 56. All the tremolo bits after are good. Should be good for screaming. I like 105 except for the lead.

You got a link to your new band man?

frankibo
04-07-2011, 07:00 AM
I remember you used to contribute a lot, you were one of the better ones too.
Still no thanks though.

Jake the Peg
04-07-2011, 08:16 AM
You can't expect someone to crit your song as a song-writing equal if you expect them to plagiarise your material. Because this song is recorded (and therefore can't be stolen) you and your band feel safe enough to parade your song around in T&C... why? You aren't going to change anything (so you aren't going to listen to any potential constructive criticism), so why post it here?
Yes you are a very good songwriter and you have some great songs, but that is no excuse to be a pedantic, egotistical prick. You haven't even acknowledged frankibo's crit, which is fairly detailed and has a few very good constructive points to help you improve your song. After all, that is what this thread is about.
Also, if you post things in T&C you usually have to work on critting other people's songs so that they will return the favour. The only 'crit' you've done this whole year was a little rant about how someone's song was metalcore rather than post-hardcore. Well Done. Really constructive stuff. What was the point in posting your song here?
Go fly a kite, you pretentious dick.

Thomasoman
04-07-2011, 11:22 AM
You can't expect someone to crit your song as a song-writing equal if you expect them to plagiarise your material.

Ah right, I should probably re word my original post to something that isn't 'Hey guys, Im better than you, and thats why you all want to steal my songs.' Or maybe you should re read it and youll notice that is not what I said at all.

Go fly a kite, you pretentious dick.

I'm done with this shit. Everything you just wrote was insulting and unnecessary. I havn't personally attacked ANYBODY here. I am not an egotist, nor am I being pedantic. You're acting like you just witnessed some great injustice because I greeted frankibo with the same attitude he greeted me with. If you are really bothered by my post, then you know nothing of the way people operate, because people HAVE STOLEN. MY SONGS. BEFORE. Not 'evil music banditos', forum members. It HAPPENS, its EASY TO DO and HARD TO GET CAUGHT FOR.

I posted this because even though I wasnt planning on changing the song, the critisism can help me for future songs. I never change ANY songs I post on here from what people say, because if I posted it, odds are I like it and me liking it is all that matters, and all that SHOULD matter. I take the critisism and apply it to the next song I write, thats how you improve.

Thanks for all the actual crits that have been provided, I will take all of them to heart as I always do. Everyone and everything else, Well, go fly a kite I guess.

EDIT: And to Jesse, so far its just the instrumentals completely finished, theyre on my facebook page though if you wanna have a listen along with anyone else who isn't jumping on the 'mike is an egotistical demon creature' bandwagon. https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Communist/213064705370670?sk=app_178091127385

Seb1uk
04-07-2011, 11:47 AM
Taking both sides here. Yeah frankibo's first two lines seemed a little rude but he provided good criticism which you just ignored. You took it a bit too personally, but I completely understand why you'd be worried about posting stuff up. And since it's happened before, that's even more fair enough. You just got a bit too aggressive.

And about the whole posting this up even though you don't plan on changing it, so what(to Jake the Peg that is)? I occasionally post stuff that I don't really intend on changing regardless of people's views, I just like to know what people think, and I'm sure others do the same.

As for the actual song, I haven't listened to it yet, but I do plan to soon.

huevos
04-07-2011, 01:59 PM
I'm the one stealing your guise's stuff. It was me all along! bwahahwhwhahwa!
No, I just keep all the songs I like as reference to what has been done, that way I don't plagiarize in cryptomensiac form. Which still happens. ;)

Also, Thomasoman, just stop feeding the miasma of grief. I will say that you are justified in your retorts (especially with the tone the responses to your posts have been), but the others do have valid criticism.
If you are worried about people lifting pieces of your comps (or entire songs), I say try to get it copyrighted before posting. Otherwise, you run the risk of getting it stolen*.
All the liability falls on you at that point.

I'll get to the song soon. This little flame war was/is unnecessary and hopefully what Seb1uk and I have stated can quell it.


*Unlikely, but still a possibility, given that you and Blanchard have stated that it has happened before. I would normally ask for proof, but I trust the judgments of both of y'all.
Plus, the quality of both your songwriting skills indicates that stealing is in the realm of reality.

Thomasoman
04-07-2011, 02:39 PM
^ I agree, lets just end all the nonsense. Thanks to everyone who actually gave a crit, Ill return one to all of you at some point soon.

Seb1uk
04-08-2011, 12:09 PM
Alright critting this now.

This actually sounded like a song written by Dance Gavin Dance, which is a good thing, although sometimes it felt too similar to some DGD riffs such as the section from bar 25. Really enjoyed the cross-melody stuff here. I wasn't too fond of the one chord per bar thing in the intro. Also because the chord sequence was kinda boring. It's all good once it kicks in though.

The next few dozen bars are pretty cool, nice melodies. And I preferred the chords of the clean break at bar 89 compared to the intro. The build-up was alright, I just think the guitar line could've been better. Nice way to end the song though.

If you're c4c'ing, http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1426197 ? The newest version is v14.

uprawrock
04-09-2011, 01:29 AM
Fall Of Troy.