Glasses Hands, Concrete Boots (Progessive/Technical) Hard Rock/Metal (C4C)


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The Arsis
04-10-2011, 12:46 PM
New idea and this time more instrumentally driven. Tell me what you think?

pinguinpanic
04-11-2011, 10:10 AM
Here we go, writing as I listen:

That intro sound sounds funny, I like how people pull of all kinds of stuff with midi, the guitar parts and bass at the beginning is pretty good, a bit chaotic to my mind, and your drum isn't that great. I like how you combine a kind of trashy sound with a techsound at 35. It does however feel like you're pushing to hard to be technical and proggy, the part at 54 is really nice, like the stop back into the trashy riff. Like the 67 part, but I'd change the chord at 81 and 73 because they took away from the building thing that this part has, although it wasn't necesairy bad I'd like that better. The part after that is good, at 83, nice melodies and stuff and not too chaotic or random. The part after that is good as well, with the a bit longer chords, part at bar 107 is nice, the song has a much more coherent feeling then the beginning, in the beginning it feels like more a grouping of random melodies spasticly player, which might be what you are going for, but for me personally the end is just a lot better to listen too. I thought the song ended at 142, but then it went on, perhaps it's dragging on for a bit too long or you could have tried another change. The 152 part is nice, I'm not too sure on the sound before it, it could work, but then again it couldn't :P. The sweeps at 168 are really nice, not sure if they fit the song, I think you need a better progression to them, they are really nice but it's just so sudden, they are good for the fade out outro. Was that last bar that suddenly has sound again an accident or is it supposed to be like that? I'd like it better muted.

I might not be the best dude for listening to a Prog/Tech piece so don't put too much weight on my comments. The song has some really nice ideas, but it just doesn't feel much like a song at times. You must be a pretty sick guitar player if you can play all that stuff, kudos to you!

If you feel like it, you can check out my song: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1430892

Mean Mr Mustard
04-11-2011, 11:26 PM
Hey Arsis, I remember your stuff from a while ago, it was pretty good.

This song: Starts off nice, pretty chaotic and melodic. I cant help but feel that the drums are a bit off though. First off, the change in the dynamic, or volume, of the drums were changed, Id keep it all at forte. The harmonys are pretty nice here, i liked the part at bar 23. At around bar 55 or so, I got a little tired of the feel of the song. Maybe extend that more intense section at bar 35, or make it a bit heavier using the bass and the drums. Id love to hear a very melodical guitar solo or something too, even if just really short.

Bar 69 was great, would make a really powerful chorus, maybe slow the cymbals down, make them half notes to make it sound a bit more epic and try some crashes? For the post-chorus part at 83, the drums sound fine. To be honest, I started getting a little tired of it once the sections came back form before. They came in like the same order and everything from bar 107 to 150.

The section at bar 152 was a bit too dissonant or something, Id prefer a strong section like that chorus-like section. The transition in tempo to 168 felt a bit awkward, maybe insert a bar beforehand where the tempo can slow down naturally?
However, those sweeps were pretty sweet. The fadout was an okay way to end the song.

Overall, I love the mood that you had going, it sounded pretty heavy at times, and pretty melodic at others. I think that it has more potential though, maybe try not to copy and paste as much, keep it fresh and a bit different, revisit themes in a different manner, a clean interlude, etc. You know, theres lots you could do. As it is now though, 6-7/10, good job.

Could you look at this (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1430237) song? Nobodys given any thoughts on it yet.