A song I wrote (Think Paramore or Silverstein) C4C


PDA

View Full Version : A song I wrote (Think Paramore or Silverstein) C4C


From Your Grave
04-11-2011, 01:57 PM
So, I started working on this a few days ago, and I'm pretty much out of ideas for it. As it stands, I'm happy with it, but I think it could be better. It's a pretty basic song, it reminds me a lot of Decode by Paramore.

The lead in the last verse I'm iffy about, and I think the break needs something else going on, I just don't know what. I'm pretty happy with the way the verses and choruses turned out.

Any ideas or criticism is appreciated =)
I will also C4C.

ASJerrell
04-11-2011, 02:20 PM
first off, its really good. you fit the genre or the target to a tee. the lead and chord patterns and key and everything, definitely has a ton of potential with some catchy lyrics and some awesome melodies.

my only criticism is that it feels repetitive in the verse. I'm sure it would be lessened with singing again, but thats how I feel. you could add some studio fills on guitar, add some simple strings, which is in every song nowadays, or whatever else you can cook up on drums or bass. some fills or lead lines on either of them is also a staple of Paramore I feel. Their drummer makes the band imo.

Anyhoo, solid, no exaggerating, an 8. I really did enjoy it. :)

From Your Grave
04-11-2011, 02:28 PM
Thanks man! I agree with you about the verse, but I feel like with the vocals it won't matter too much. I'll see what I can do about some fills for it though.

Paramore's old drummer, Zac, definitely made some beast drums :)

frankibo
04-11-2011, 07:16 PM
Drums need a lot of work, it's hard to judge without decent drums. Otherwise it's pretty good.

MattAnderson111
04-11-2011, 09:17 PM
Hey dude, I really liked this, so I re-did the drum track for fun, I hope I helped. I uploaded it to mediafire if you want use this one instead.

http://www.mediafire.com/?98e189o9doa5952

From Your Grave
04-12-2011, 07:24 PM
Matt, thank you :D
I'm not a drummer by any means, so normally for drums I just do what seems to fit. I almost never use 16th notes either for some reason.
I loved the double bass at the end of the chorus, and all the fills were really sexy. I'm definitely going to use it and give you credit.

MattAnderson111
04-12-2011, 08:13 PM
Thanks a lot man, I enjoyed making them, let me know if you ever need help laying down drum tracks, I'll be more than happy to help.