Relieved of Breath, completed black/tech metal [C4C]


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Tarbosh
04-16-2011, 09:16 AM
Sup, I posted this little bit ago in an unfinished form. Finished it up a little bit ago and thought I should post the full version.

Some people had said the whole thing sounded a bit cluttered, so I tried to remove some of the unnecessary parts to make it sound less muddy while still keeping the intense, layered sound of the song intact. At least, hopefully I made it sound less muddy. If you had a problem with it before, chances are you'll probably have a problem with it again. Tear it to shreds if you must.

I apologize if the mix is terrible, right now I only have laptop speakers and no real headphones to speak of, so that might not make it sound much better.

Influences here include Obscura, Thulcandra, and other random black/death metal stuff.

Hope you like it.

Imm0rtal
04-16-2011, 11:24 AM
Didnt you post that before here?

Tarbosh
04-16-2011, 11:26 AM
Didnt you post that before here?
Yeah, if you read my post I said I did post a WIP version, but this one is done. I deleted the thread for the other one.

JazzDeath
04-16-2011, 04:54 PM
Oh man, so much better.

So much better. I'll give you a more in depth review soon, but here's the quickness of it.

All the solos are pretty sweet in general, very little bad there, it's really cool stuff.

The cluttered parts sound sooooooo much better now, truly reminds me of Emperor and that atmosphere and I absolutely adore that, there's juuuuust a little too much going on for your ears to follow but that's GOOD in this case because every time you listen to it your brain seems to pick up something else and it gives it a distinct style and feel.

There are a few parts I found boring, that lose the drive of the piece, being 25 when it starts, for example - you cut off too much of the orchestration and the beggining of the tremolo is boring, it's just an instant that loses its feel but that really kills the drive of the piece.

38-39-40 could use some better mixing.

Part VII Could use a bit of polish I think but it's alright, just not as great as other parts.

And then part VIII to the end, my favorite part of the whole piece, the solo and the harmonies you end up adding on top of your main theme at the end are amazing, and I love the fade back in at the absolute end, it sounds very obscura-like. Great stuff.

I guess you got your full review then :P

I wanted to mention, that your outro is very beautiful and touching and that it's good that you were able to add something that breathes properly, with nice separate voicings, in such a busy piece, and really put a lot of emotion into it, I thought it was great and I was glad to hear it. Your ears enjoy a break, also, after such a chaotic busy piece, and I think it makes the impact even stronger.

Wquennasar
04-19-2011, 08:14 PM
Thanks for the crit brah. Doing this as I listen:

Intro/I: Awesome stuff. Excellent intro. It really grabs your attention.

II: Bar 17 felt a bit awkward, but that might just be the midi

III: See II. The transition doesn't feel very smooth. Might just be the midi drums. Other than that, good

IV: Yep, that's BM alright =P Nice work with the harmonized tremolo picking

IVb: I ****ing love those drums. I really do.

V: Love the melodies you have going on here.

Solo 1: 40 to 41 feels awkward. You made the delay effect work pretty well for the solo though.

VI: Awesome transition from the solo. Just excellent stuff, really. Love this part. Nice bassline.

VII: Nice transitional bit.

VIII: Good build-up to the solos. I think Pisschrist@bar78 would be better if you did D#/F on the last four 32nds instead of continuing the C/D#.

Solos: REALLY nice stuff here. Very disjointed, but you made it work.

VIb: Again, excellent. Really cool section.

Outro: Good.

Crossfade: I have a hard-on for acoustic sections, so I'm all for parts like these! Very early-In-Flames-y, really liked it.

Overall: Good song. You obviously know what you're doing and managed to put everything together well enough.

It is a bit tiring to listen to, but I suppose that's the genre itself. You obviously didn't set out to write a Billboard hit. I was able to keep following all the tracks; you didn't go overboard on the '30-different-voices-doing-dissonant-runs' aspect of tech. I'm not sure you'd have a non-guitarist/non-musician enjoy this, but I found it pretty cool all the same.

Life Is Brutal
04-21-2011, 10:04 PM
Yes, much better than before.

II has a really great sound to my ears, and I like how your able to use chromaticism and keep it flowing and fitting in a melodic sense, such as in III.

IV I can best describe as strange, and while it seems like it could be generic by the way it looks, harmony tremolo picking, it has a capturing feel to it, and the triplets make it very awkwardly/lethargically awesome. Which adds to the buildup at IVb, which is great.

The melody at IVb is great, and the building up at 33 flows and accents it perfectly.

V's first bar is one that I can easily describe as being "Badass". After that, it gets more into what you could expect Blackened tech death to sound like. Which in no means is a bad thing.

Solo 1 pulls the same kind of suspension release as with IVb, and the phrasing and key changes keep pulling the suspense in different directions, such as some bars being crushing and dark, with the next being bright and epic.

Transition into VI is done well, and VI is an epic section. Bars 56 and onward have some very interesting themes, and is some good material.

Im not a fan of VII though. It doesn't do much for me except in bar 69. LOLOLOL. Its not bad, but it doesn't stick out either.

VIII is better, and has an awesome theme to it, but it seems really familiar to me, especially in bar 72. Transition into solos is good, and solos is good, but could use more definition rather than just the echo drops.

VIb is a good rehash of a previous section, and I really like how you were able to turn it into something bright. Its actually kind of amazing. :haha:

Outro is epic, and I like how you were able to use another theme from a previous section for the actual end.

Awesome song, regardless. Do you have an Email that I could send those comps to?

Cpt. Mendoza
04-23-2011, 10:24 PM
I feel as if my ears have been raped.. Excellent Symphonic Black. once i switched everything to rse it sounded amazing. great piece, and very good work.

Portuguese_boy
05-20-2011, 12:13 AM
Let me start off by saying that I'm not that much of a fan of black metal.. I would be if it all sounded like this.

Your chord usage in between riffs is very similar to a more aggressive and technical Opeth. You also put the traditional black metal tremolo picking but in this case it didn't sound so ****ing boring (unlike most black metal songs)

Solo 1 has very heavy jazz influences, kind of like a mix between Athiest and an angry Allan Holdsworth.

Bars 63-70 seemed kind of boring to me, but the melodic riff at 71 makes up for it.
The other solos are epic as shit after the strings come in..

Awesome song, and btw I checked your other songs and they're also all amazing.. So good job.

Burning_Angel
05-20-2011, 01:03 AM
I'm just going to say right now, there is very little black metal at all about this. And actually, what black metal is there comes more out of the arpeggios and the big chords than it does from the tremolo picking, although it all plays a role.

And Senor from Portugal, listen to more black metal, and listen more in depth. To say it is all tremolo picking is simply false. It is part yes, but it's also a huge part of Death Metal. And post rock. So. Think about that. [and there's also plenty of black metal out there that is plenty diverse, if not exactly like "this". I say "this" because its really more tech/melodic death/touches of black]

Apologies but people who know little of my favorite style of music and then proceed to generalize it annoy me.

And suffice to say, this is much, much better this time around, man. Well done, I actually cant think of anything to really crit. It's all around superior, nothing I really think should be changed, really.

Tarbosh
05-20-2011, 09:31 AM
I'm just going to say right now, there is very little black metal at all about this. And actually, what black metal is there comes more out of the arpeggios and the big chords than it does from the tremolo picking, although it all plays a role.

And Senor from Portugal, listen to more black metal, and listen more in depth. To say it is all tremolo picking is simply false. It is part yes, but it's also a huge part of Death Metal. And post rock. So. Think about that. [and there's also plenty of black metal out there that is plenty diverse, if not exactly like "this". I say "this" because its really more tech/melodic death/touches of black]

Apologies but people who know little of my favorite style of music and then proceed to generalize it annoy me.

And suffice to say, this is much, much better this time around, man. Well done, I actually cant think of anything to really crit. It's all around superior, nothing I really think should be changed, really.

First off, thanks for the crit and thanks to everyone else as well, and thanks for trying to set me straight on this topic. But I disagree with you. Believe me, I've been listening to metal for a long time, and I know the differences between the subgenres. I more just put black metal to save space; if I were to REALLY give this a genre it would be something along the lines of progressive/technical (symphonic, perhaps?) blackened death metal. I definitely agree it's not black metal in the sense of bands like Darkthrone or Burzum, but as people have pointed out before it does bear similarities to later Emperor and Ihsahn, which I don't actually listen to much, but I checked them out more and I agree with that sentiment. Personally I'd compare it to old Ephel Duath. I don't quite see how I could be "generalizing" black metal because I wrote an original song and used what I knew about the subgenres to try to loosely classify it.

I definitely will say this is a pretty hard song for me to classify, and I definitely don't know everything there is to know about genres and such. However, it's also true that a large part of the classification of music into genres is based on subjective reasoning rather than objective. It simply is too complex a topic to solely rely on the facts.

Again, thanks for the crit and the kind words, but I just wanted to put my two cents out there.

Burning_Angel
05-20-2011, 11:05 AM
I should probably have clarified. I am not pointing you out or throwing you under the bus for "generalizing" black metal; my target would be Portuguese Boy.

Honestly, this is tough to classify cause there are touches of black metal atmosphere, but on the whole it reminds me most of Opeth, but with a more technical/death metal approach on the riffs.

Saint78
06-09-2011, 05:39 PM
I don't really know a lot about black metal so I only really have 2 things to say.

At solo 1, turn up the guitar that's soloing. All of the other instruments drown out the solo.
Another idea is to throw in a clean section somewhere. Actually throw in something that you wouldn't expect. Like a jazz horn solo.

Tarbosh
06-09-2011, 05:55 PM
The volume issue could be because you were listening in gp6. I mixed it for MIDI on GP5, and it's totally audible for me.

Life Is Brutal
06-09-2011, 11:25 PM
I don't really know a lot about black metal so I only really have 2 things to say.

At solo 1, turn up the guitar that's soloing. All of the other instruments drown out the solo.
Another idea is to throw in a clean section somewhere. Actually throw in something that you wouldn't expect. Like a jazz horn solo.

Perhaps, but if you end up doing that for every song, theres no longer any surprise in it. Thats whats happening to me. :haha:

And I don't think a jazz horn solo would benefit this song in particular. :p:

Tarbosh
06-10-2011, 12:20 AM
And I don't think a jazz horn solo would benefit this song in particular. :p:

I didn't have the heart to say it :haha: